ID A Puns

It was worth a shot.

Now we all call him Dav.

The bar doesn't serve minors.

“Cardamom”

My alias was Justin Case.

Ok so I was thinking about something like "Gnarly Davidson" but it was taken. Something lighthearted like that. You guys are pretty good with it. Help me out please

So I thought a lot and finally picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

For keeping me off the street

An idEA

Id say its a problem-attic

I always check the collar ID

I would need to get a new ID.

But I had no ID

An idEA

Idk if this fits this sub, but I'm planning a Halloween costume and just need a punny name for it.

I'm going to wear timberland boots, camo cargo pants, an olive/brown/green/earth t-shirt, aviator sunglasses, and get a beer bandolier.

I need a solider/army/military + beer/alcohol/drinking pun to name the costume. Any suggestions?

[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)

Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...

A Stoop Id Kid

Here's a mirror.

Drake, Onision, and R Kelly walk into a bar.

The bartender immediately gets them all a drink.

Drake asks the bartender why he didn’t ask for their ID.

The bartender says, “age is just a number around here.”

It was an id bracelet.

Speaker: “I'm glad you could all make it”

Whole crowd: in unison “Hi glad you could all make it, We're dad”

Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it"

entire conference loses their shit

Id have to change my name

I can't post a picture so here
Also, I know this isn't really a joke post, so I'll just put one here.
Where do horses live?
In a neeeeeeighborhood!

They both have a collar ID

Her ID says Sex: F

There was this heavy dresser and my dad said “Let’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said “Id rather lift it”

He gave me a funny look and sighed. My brother in law laughed.

My mom made stuffed peppers with with Shepherd's pie ground beef instead of stuffed pepper mix. So my dad goes... "I guess these are Shepherd's Peppers!"

He couldn't wait to spit that one out and had a great big laugh. Then told it again because my mom wasn't in the room.

Edit.. I don't think some people know the food involved. Stuffed peppers are these. And shepherds pie is this

Here it is! My second Punguins comic. Be sure to leave some feedback!

Comic: http://penguinproductions.org/comics?id=2

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/penguinproductionsapps/?fref=ts

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PenguinProdApps

Collar ID

::phone starts ringing::

::Dad goes to look at the caller ID and turns away, deciding not to answer it::

Me: who is it?

Dad: Unavailable. Beats me why they'd even be calling us if they're unavailable.

Father's Day shirt I made for my dad who likes to spend some quality time snoozing on the couch. Thought some of you may appreciate it.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D39JNZ7?customId=B07537H64L&th=1

He said "well I'm now a Dav" when i asked him what he meant he replied "I don't have an id anymore"

I've been working on a screenplay for a movie (nothing big, nothing even medium-sized, I'm pretty much doing it for fun with one of my friends) and we can't think of a clever movie title. The TL;DR version is it's about a bartender who accidentally steals a undercover cops ID just by coincidence. It's not a comedy (asides from a but of dry humor) so nothing too dadjokey, no offense to r/dadjokes, but just a good clever pun would be great. If you have any ideas please let me know! Thanks!

You have to sever its carrot-id artery.

So it's my dad and i, sitting the the car, he was driving and i was in the passenger seat. All of a sudden he seemed to slow down a little as if he was giving way to someone turning in. however there where no cars, and i could see him glaring out of the window at what seemed to be the nicest pair of jugs id ever seen. anyway i got pretty pissed and asked him what the hell he is doing? to which he replied : "Its ok to look at the menu, As long as you eat at home son"... i laughed so hard at this, and i'm pretty sure he wanted to make it obvious to "teach me some sort of lesson".

anyway thats my little bit of humor, not that anyone will probably care !

My folks have been married 29 years.

Dad looks at me last night and says

If I killed her when I married her, Id be out by now.

I have no ID

Speaker: I'm glad you could all make it

Whole crowd: in unison hi glad you could all make it We're dad

Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it"

entire conference loses their shit