Hey guys. There's a grocery store on my left, a few cars, some people going for lunch, I see a bunch of carts or trolleys, whatever you call them. Please just think about me.
I'm going through a lot right now.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 07 2022
Sergeant: I didnβt see you at camouflage training.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 03 2022
Coming home from work I see a person fall in the snow. They seem badly hurt. They grab my attention and they say "please, will you call me an ambulance?"
"Yes" I reply
And so I look at them and say ...
..."you're an ambulance"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 01 2022
βYou know son, you wonβt be able to see me anymore, if I decide to become a woman one day.β
βHonestly, thatβd be strange at first, but Iβm sure weβd work past that and still be a family.β
βNo, son, Iβd be trans-parent.β
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
"Mr. Wonka, you said you'd give me a magical tour of your confectionary factory, but all I see is a single brown dog!"
Willy Wonka: <stroking dog> No... I said I'd show you my Chocolate Lab
π︎ 800
π
︎ Oct 07 2021
Hey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
π︎ 125
π
︎ Sep 30 2021
Sorry I didn't take you to see Santa at the mall.
I heard you're claustrophobic.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Oct 28 2021
I see what you did there.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 21 2021
Teacher: I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass ?
Student: The cow ate the grass, sir.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 15 2021
I see what you did there ( Ν‘β ΝΚ Ν‘β)
π︎ 626
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
My daughter today: "Dad, if you transitioned to a woman, I wouldn't be able to see you"
Me: "Why?"
Daughter: "Because you would be trans-parent"
She got me good. I actually GOL (Groaned Out Loud)
π︎ 140
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Iβll see you in churchβ¦
If the windows are clean.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 21 2021
You sure he had a penile surgery done? I do not see a Vas Deferens tbh. π€·π»ββοΈ
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 17 2021
Ah, I see what you did there
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Hello Doctor, I need to see you immediately!
I think I'm a hypochondriac!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 10 2021
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
My Child asked me βwhat is a dark joke?β I said to him βyou see that man trying to find his car?β
My son looks at me and says, βyou know Iβm blind right?β Me being me said βExactlyβ
π︎ 41
π
︎ May 05 2021
βYou see, doctor, Iβm always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning,β
"I have the solution for you," replied the doctor.
"Really, what is it?"
βWell, try getting up half an hour later."
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 19 2021
I guess you can see he has a lot of horsepower
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
I see you've dug 3 holes looking for water
π︎ 96
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.
https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
I see "what you did there".
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
I explained, "You see son, mountains aren't just funnyβ¦"
π︎ 75
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
I bet you didnβt see that coming.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Feb 08 2019
Saw this on r/unexpected, thought it was funny so here we are :) Iβll be sure to add the link to the OG post in the comments incase you wanna see it
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
I see what you did there, fb algorithm.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 19 2018
Drill Sergeant: I didnβt see you at the camouflage drill today
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I see what you did there
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
I painted my couch so you don't see it
π︎ 40
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
Well, it's that time on New Year's Eve. I'll see you all...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
π︎ 64
π
︎ Feb 12 2020
We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, βI see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?β
I said, βWhy would I want two empty glasses?β
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Oct 16 2017
I see what you did there
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
I'll see you all next year
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
I see what you did there!
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 12 2020
βHey, how come I can see right through you?β
βMy son came out as Transgender today, so that makes me Transparent.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said "see you later, son". I said indignantly, "don't call me 'son', you're not my dad!"
... To which the lift attendant replied, "Maybe not, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
π︎ 522
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
Sergeant: I didnβt see you at camouflage training.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 03 2022
The general said to the private, βI didnβt see you this morning at camouflage trainingβ¦β
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 20 2022
βHey Alexa, can you check my bank account and see what Apple product I can afford to buy...."
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 15 2021
The sergeant: Private, i didnβt see you at camouflage training.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 02 2021
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 11 2019
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
I bet you wonβt see this one coming...
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
I explained, "You see son, mountains aren't just funnyβ¦"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
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