I feel like you shouldn't post on this sub if you're not really a dad

Its a faux pa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTubaPoobah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2022
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You know whenever i start to feel blue…

I breathe again.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenjaminFlow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2022
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Guy bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "doc you gotta help! I feel like I'm trapped inside a deck of cards!"

The therapist looks up from his notes and says, "As you can see, I'm busy. I'll deal with you later."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2022
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You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2021
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If you're having voice problems I feel bad for you son,

I've got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illumi_nazi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I feel you Spidey
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/truetilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Man: "Doctor I feel like a supermarket" Doctor: "How long have you felt like this?"

Man: "Ever since I was Lidl."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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A man walks into a doctor's office with celery in one ear, peas in the other, and a carrot up each nostril, and says "Doc, I don't feel well". The doctor replies "It's because you aren't eating right."
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thalpal317
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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A squirrel is living in a pine tree, when one day, he feels it shaking, looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree. The squirrel shrieks, β€œWhat are you doing climbing my tree?” β€œWell, I’m coming up here to eat some pears.” says the elephant.

β€œYou idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears!”

β€œWell I brought my own pears.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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You guys, I’m a dad and I have to say it.... I feel like a cow walking through tall grass

I’m udderly tickled to be here!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/go_see_a_shrink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Switch: What does it feel like when I turn you off?

Lamp: I don't light to think about it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrumpetPro
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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I know how you feel about my compulsion to mention edible footwear,

but could we taco boot it later?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWonderland18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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If you're having auto-correct problems, I feel bad for you son.

I've got 99 parabolas Burr bite ab it onedirectionfan69@yahoo.com

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Do you know how I feel?

...With my hands

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/just-me-illu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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