I decided to eat a kids meal for the first time at McDonalds today.
His parents got really upset.
I’ve decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough.
Just handed in my too weak notice.
I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.
All it was doing was gathering dust!
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
[OC] I said this at work and decided it would make a good cartoon
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
I decided to buy a vault to keep my money in.
With all the petitions on this sub I decided to start one to raise awareness on belly button styles
I decided to drop out of school last night, and today I got an email that there was active shooter situation near my classroom
...I guess I really dodged a bullet there.
(believe it or not this post is based on real-life events 😬)
My mom assured me that my pun about tunnel-dwelling rodents will work so I decided to Gopher it.
I've decided to become an xray technician
I want to take photos of people that brings their inner selves.
So Dad is getting older and senile and always doing crazy sh1t and we decided to sell the house and put him in a senior center. I came home last night and found an alligator in a cardigan on the kitchen floor. I said dammit Dad! WTH! This crazy stuff is why we are selling the house!
He says "I know, this is the home in-vest-i-gator."
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
My girlfriend and I decided to watch two movies back-to-back.
I'm glad I was the one facing the TV.
Was too depressed to sleep so I decided to read a book
I only had a math book nearby and I don't need any more problems.
I decided to invest in a coin maker.
I've decided I don't want to be fat, so I now identify as skinny.
Guess that means I'm trans-slender
My girlfriend and I have had a hard breakup lately. She decided to work for the government.
I finally decided to do something about my weight.
From now on, I'm simply going to lie about it.
I have decided to give up certain exercises
Last night I decided to memorize a few pages of the dictionary
I learned next to nothing
So i decided to play hide n seek with my straight friend
And now he won't come out of closet
I bought a horse the other day. I've decided to name it Mayo...
... because sometimes Mayo neighs.
I was really mad when our local pub decided to hang all their dartboards from the ceiling.
It really makes me want to throw up.
I was going to make a joke about Bill Gates Divorce but I decided not to..
I live next to the rubbish dump and have a huge fly problem, the bloody things are everywhere. It's gotten so bad I've decided to sell my house and move...
When I was young I decided to become an archeologist.
Now my career is in ruins.
I decided to make a custard last night, and it was awesome!
I love it when a flan comes together.
My dad is a Star Wars fan so I decided to draw him a picture of Grogu for Father’s Day.
He took one look at it, shook his head and said...
“Yoda, best”
Happy Father’s Day!
As a patriot, I have decided to buy my next Honda directly from Japan and pay the necessary tariffs.
It will...be my Civic duty.
I decided to stop walking under billboards after one collapsed on top of me.
I took it as a sign from above.
My wife and I have decided that we don't want children
And if anyone does we can drop them off at the weekend
I decided to add a water fixture to my back yard...
I've decided to marry a pencil.
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
I decided I do not want any children
If anybody wants one, I can drop her off tomorrow.
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
I recently decided to learn sign language...
So that I can tell jokes nobody has ever heard.
The wife and I have decided we don’t want kids
They’re not taking it very well
this year, i have decided to type everything in lower case letters.
i have stopped giving a shift.
I’ve decided to open a museum dedicated to bracelets that happen to be magnetic.
Hopefully it will be a big two-wrist attraction.
I decided to sell my vacuum...
It was only collecting dust.
My next door neighbor and I are very good friends, so we decided to share our water supply, because..
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough
I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.
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