I said, “Sounds like... you have a hidden agenda.”
I guess it must be sprocket science
I mean seriously, my arms are not long enough. Let alone my head.
...it took me hours to mop that carpet.
"Hon d'accord"
He said, "suture self."
Dad: I’m going to live in the present.
"Sure, as long as you give me back"
As part of my job (I'm a cashier) I'm required to ask people how everything was. Almost every Dad says the exact same thing: "terrible". They then stare at me to see my reaction. When I laugh it off, they say "but what if I Had been serious?" In a very condescending way and make me feel bad for laughing. What I usually do is say "You're not being serious are you?" They say no with a little laugh and an awkward silence follows.
My friends suggested I take my acting to the next level and act genuinely concerned, turning the situation around. But I think there's a funnier solution. Any help?
Another thing: Our food rocks. There's no way they're being serious.
--a small plaque in my dad's study.
