23 Hilarious I'm Single Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.

And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.

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👤︎ u/skullchin

📅︎ Oct 31 2020

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I'm a single dad and a fast walker

I guess I'm just looking for love in all the wrong paces.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/revoltinglemur

📅︎ Jul 20 2020

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I’m still single on Star Wars Day...

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

👍︎ 78

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👤︎ u/SyncingShiip

📅︎ May 04 2020

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I'm a single dad looking after two kids, a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old...

They're my 9 to 5.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/dubaidadjokes

📅︎ May 10 2020

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My Music Pun of the Week. I have to change it Every. Single. Week. I'm running out of ideas.

👍︎ 109

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👤︎ u/melissaanne7

📅︎ Jul 02 2019

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To keep the virus away, I'm taking forever to open the door, refusing to change the temperature and only playing games in single player mode.

In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/karmaniak

📅︎ Mar 24 2020

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Dad, you have to talk normal and stop speaking in single letters. Can’t you see I’m going crazy?!

O I C U R

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/shimmywaffles

📅︎ Mar 18 2020

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I’m known for two things— being single, and having terrible penmanship.

I’m the most illegible bachelor in town.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Nov 15 2019

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My trainer asked if I’m engaging my abs when I use the ab roller. I told him they’re not engaged, they’re single

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👤︎ u/SnippityPippity

📅︎ Aug 29 2019

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Every single time I wake up later than 9 A.M.

Dad: "He's alive!!"

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/BanjoStory

📅︎ Dec 26 2013

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I'm single because my jokes are cheesy.

I guess you could call me the provolone.

👍︎ 32

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👤︎ u/BlastaSaurizard

📅︎ Jan 24 2019

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This Christmas, we were talking about older puns and I said: You can’t say I’m single..

because I HAVE dated references.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/thepicklebarrel

📅︎ Dec 25 2018

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I was trying to analyze why I’m still single.

So I divided the data according to the ex-axis and the why-axis.

👍︎ 50

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Mar 18 2018

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I like both boys and girls, but I'm still single.

I guess I am meant to be bi-myself.

👍︎ 76

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👤︎ u/da_video_live

📅︎ Mar 16 2018

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When I'm single I go straight to the farm and collect eggs

It's the best place to pick up chicks.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/3Dbabble

📅︎ Aug 01 2018

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Best of Reddit puns: " I've never regretted a single moment of my wedding day up until I read the words "Yes, I didgeridoo, m8". I'm gonna have to remarry my missus. " ... " Didgeridoo your wedding yet? " reddit.com/r/worldnews/co…

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/BothBawlz

📅︎ Dec 07 2017

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Thanks for reminding me that I'm single

👍︎ 173

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👤︎ u/TravisJason

📅︎ Oct 22 2013

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As an Android user, I finally gave in and bought my first Apple device. I have to say I'm impressed, even if it only has a single-core processor

Pic of my new device here - http://i.imgur.com/UwQ8ZUE.jpg

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/borick

📅︎ Oct 23 2014

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Every single time I'm in a clothes store with my Dad...

...he'll deliberately go to the lingerie section and make any calls he needs to, just so he can say over the phone that he's "standing in women's underwear".

👍︎ 62

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👤︎ u/Cuttlefish_Go

📅︎ Oct 21 2013

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I'm surprised I'm not single yet

A little backstory: my girlfriend has had a small lizard living in her house recently. She's likened him to the mascot of a specific insurance company. Today, she found him looking rather ill and decided to release him outside.

Cue to me leaving her house tonight. As I walked out the door:

Me - "goodnight!"

Her - "Wait!"

Me - "Geez. You scared me. I thought I was stepping on something."

Her - "No, I just forgot to give you something. Oh no! The poor lizard! That would've been terrible!"

Me - " I know!! ... ... He would've never been able to achieve his Olympic dreams as a Gecko roman wrestler."

Her - "Go. Now."

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/triculous

📅︎ Sep 10 2015

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Why I'm still a single dad

why I'm still single http://imgur.com/gallery/usvxttd

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Dan_Berg

📅︎ Dec 04 2015

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I’m still single on Star Wars Day...

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/e3-po

📅︎ May 04 2019

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Every single time I say, "I'm tired..."

Dad: "I'm Ken."

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/Ozamataz-Buckshank

📅︎ Jan 22 2014

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