Hunker, Pennsylvania Puns

Summary of Daniel Webster's Second Term

President Daniel Webster's refusal to stand for a third term has given the Democratic-Republicans another chance at reclaiming the presidency. The convention of 1836 was a chaotic one, where candidates Levi Woodbury and Zachary Taylor nearly won the nomination, but in the end, it was given to William Clark, from the Lewis & Clark expedition. Now, Woodbury and Taylor have returned to seek the nomination once again. The party is still divided, with the pro-slavery Hunkers enduring and the anti-slavery Liberty Democratic-Republicans renaming themselves to the 'Barnburners' because of their antigovernmental tendencies. However, with Clark gone, the party is now almost fully supportive of Indian Removal. It is also united in opposition to the Frelinghuysen Tariff, the highest tariff in history; the tariff was meant to be a temporary war-time measure, but it has remained into Reconstruction.

Levi Woodbury: Senator from New Hampshire and former Governor Levi Woodbury has grown to be one of the leaders of the party. As Governor, he was known to be a moderate who tried to (rather unsuccessfully) reconcile Democratic-Republicans and Whigs, though he did go to great lengths to develop the state's industry. As Senator, Woodbury generally supported the policies of Democratic-Republican president Andrew Jackson. He is also known for being a financial and legal expert.

Economically, Woodbury is a traditional Democratic-Republican economically, opposing both tariffs and a National Bank, but supporting internal improvements. He is also an advocate for the US doing its part to maintain its alliance with the British Empire, which includes giving up any hope for fully annexing the Oregon territory. On slavery, Woodbury has had a mixed record. He generally opposes slavery personally, and voted in favor of the Emancipation Act of 1835. But, Woodbury also supports the annexation of Texas as a slave state and has recently started speaking out against abolitionists. Some have called him a Barnburner, but Woodbury refuses that label. He supports continuing Reconstruction.

Senator from New Hampshire Levi Woodbury

Martin Van Buren: Former Governor and Senator of New York Martin Van Buren

Summary of Daniel Webster's Second Term

1840 Whig Convention:

In Webster's two terms in office, he ended the Civil War, and took the country through the first stage of Reconstruction. But now, the Whig Party must once again find a presidential candidate. Many divisions have presented themselves such as slavery, the controversial and failed Treaty of Uppsala (which would've sold Santo Domingo to the Swedish), and the annexation of Texas. While Henry Clay is seen as the most likely to win the nomination, in this convention, it could really go to anyone.

Henry Clay: Representative from Kentucky Henry Clay started off his career in politics as a Burrite, but eventually he left the party and began advocating for the American System, which entails high tariffs, internal improvements, and a National Bank. Clay has served as Speaker of the House and is now an extremely influential Whig leader, now in the Senate. Before the start of the Civil War, Clay was focused on doing whatever he could to maintain the Union, first opposing the deal between Jackson, Webster, and Adams (on the Spanish-American War), because he thought that it wouldn't appease the south, and then coming up with Clay's Ordinance, a more moderate solution to the slavery issue meant to replace Jefferson's Ordinance.

During the war, Henry Clay helped pass Frelinghuysen's Tariff and was reluctant to ally with the British Empire. He was also a critical supporter of the Emancipation Act of 1835, being a strong advocate for gradual emancipation. He supports the Frelinghuysen Tariff. Clay opposed the Treaty of Uppsala because he is a member of the American Colonization Society, an organization with the goal of sending free black people to Africa, but he considered Santo Domingo a more convenient place to send freed slaves than Africa. He strongly supported rebuilding relations with France and opposed the Indian Removal Act. Clay supports the annexation of Texas, but is worried that any attempt to annex the republic will be seen as a sign of aggression by Mexico.

Edward Everett: The former president's preferred successor, Edward Everett served as Secretary of State under Daniel Webster. When the Ortensia Crisis started under Webster, Everett urged President Webster to agree to return t

Go here for Civil War, Part I. Go here for Civil War, Part II.

While the midterms of 1834 changed some of Daniel Webster's plans, his leadership in the Civil War remained unchanged.

The Battle of Horn Island

By the end of 1834, the Union, with British assistance, had surrounded Confederate territory and taken Cuba, but it had not taken New Orleans. Fleet Admiral John Rodgers, Admiral Henry Curzon, and Commodores Isaac Hull and Matthew C. Perry planned to change that.

They launched several offensives aiming to take New Orleans between December 2nd, 1834 and February 13th, 1835 but while all of them made progress in eroding the Confederate position there, they still all failed to take the city.

However, after its defeat at the hands of the British and Unionists, the Confederate Navy were also regrouping and gathered in one large force lead by Commodore Franklin Buchanan. Buchanan and Confederate Secretary of the Navy Clement C. Clay planned to split apart the Union blockade at Mississippi. Buchanan was successful at first, managing to outmaneuver Union forces, getting to Horn Island, an island right to the south of mainland Mississippi.

The Union responded by sending Isaac Hull and Henry Curzon to meet him there on February 20th, thus starting the Battle of Horn Island. While the Union and British navy much outnumbered the Confederate navy, in this battle, the two forces were about equal, as the Union and British still had to maintain their blockade around Confederate territory.

Henry Curzon approached the Confederate fleet first, going south from the coast of Mississippi. His aim was to distract Buchanan's fleet until Hull could arrive from the west. Buchanan, less experienced compared to Hull and Curzon, fell for the ploy and attacked Curzon's forces with all of his might. Here it turned out that Curzon had underestimated the Confederates and suffered many casualties from this first attack.

A later daguerreotype of Commodore Franklin Buchanan

However, Henry Curzon did get his job done and Buchanan was not expecting Hull's approach from the west. When he noticed Hull, Buchanan chose to cont

Never leave the line. Something we heard the diving instructor say countless times in our cave diving class. If you can’t see the line that leads back out of the cave, then you are in trouble.

My brother had become obsessed with cave diving. What had been a casual hobby had turned into a burning passion for him, and because I was his diving buddy, it didn’t take long before I found myself in the cave diving certification class.

The first time going scuba diving was wonderful. I never had imagined there was an entire intricate world beneath the waves. I could have simply done open water diving for the rest of my life and been content, but that was not what my brother was like. He was always pushing to try the new exciting challenge, and this had gotten us into trouble more than once. That was why I should have known to pump the brakes when he started talking about cave diving.

There is no doubt in my mind that cave diving could be a wonderful peaceful experience if done right, but the combination of my brother’s ego, and the deceptively dangerous pitfalls involved with cave diving should have sent me running for the hills.

My brother had spent quite a bit of time searching the different caves to dive around where we lived. He kept saying the word siphon over and over, and finally I asked him what it was. Most people cave dive in springs, where the water flows outward, and the current will push you towards the entrance. A siphon, however, is when the water flows into the cave, pulling you away from the entrance. It seemed like the ultimate test which was irresistible to my brother, who was in a constant state of having something to prove.

That was why, before completing our certification, we had taken off for an underwater cave in Pennsylvania. My brother argued that we had more than enough training, being certified in advanced open water. For some reason, I went along with it.

We were headed to the entrance of an underwater system referred to as Konkey Hole. My brother had mentioned that it had been part of an old native american legend back when the Lenape tribe still lived in these parts. He said that a young man, after being rejected by his love, dove into the hole, and only a pool of blood came out the other side, miles away, where the underwater cave system flowed out into a bay. At the time I had laughed and rolled my eyes.

After a long car ride we had reached the dive site. I was surprised at how deserted it was. It was just a small pond in

I saw a short haired black cat hunkered down on the side of the road between 4th and Peabody and 4th and Pennsylvania over by the Law Building.

I know some people let their cats out to roam but it's a bit late and cold for that. Anyone missing their cat?

This was at about 11:15

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Summary of Daniel Webster's First Term

1836 Democratic-Republican Convention:

After Webster's victory in the election of 1832 and subsequent victory in the Civil War, the Democratic-Republicans do not see much chance to beat him in 1836, with party leaders like Martin Van Buren, James Buchanan, Levi Woodbury, Roger B. Taney, and George M. Dallas not wanting to run in a seemingly doomed year.

Even worse, the Emancipation Act of 1835, which required territories to gradually emancipate slaves over the next 10 years, bitterly divided the Democratic-Republican Party between the pro-slavery Hunker faction and anti-slavery Liberty faction.

Mahlon Dickerson: Knowing that this is probably the only time he has a chance to win the presidency, 66 year old Senator from New Jersey Mahlon Dickerson is the only real party leader running for the presidency. Initially a Bucktail aligned with William H. Crawford, Dickerson joined the Democratic-Republicans when the Bucktails collapsed. Dickerson advanced through the party's ranks quickly, using his already established base of power to become the leading New Jersey Democratic-Republican. When the Civil War started, Senator Dickerson strongly opposed the Confederacy, even drafting the force bill, which gave the president permission to move against the seceding states. After that, he was appointed Jackson's Secretary of State in 1831.

After returning to the Senate, Dickerson supported the Emancipation Act of 1835 and opposed the spread of slavery. However, in his presidential run, he has decided to focus on issues that unite the party instead of divide it, such as support for low tariffs, opposition to a National Bank, and expansionism. Dickerson supported Indian Removal when the act was first passed in 1826, but hasn't spoken on it since.

Dickerson supports the 30% Plan for Reconstruction, which would require 30% of the population of seceded states and territories to swear an Ironclad Oath in support of the Union to be accepted back in the Union; the Confederate high command, Congress, and high and mid-level military commanders would be imprisoned, while most Confederates would be pardoned. Dickerson's supporters emphasize his experience.

Lewis Cass: Favorite of the Hunkers in the party, 54 ye

Do your worst!