My wife said, “I don’t really understand the science behind human cloning.”
I said, “That makes two of us.”
What's the most important invention humanity has ever created?
Ventitian blinds, otherwise it'd be curtains for us all
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
Baby Roach: “Papa, what happens if the humans spray us with Raid?”
Papa Roach: “Suffocation. No breathing.”
How does a mockingbird wake up a human?
What do you call a human swimming in the ocean?
One small Step for Humanity.
The human brain is truly fascinating
It really makes you think
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
Why don't the Chinese understand the human leg?
Because they constantly ask "Knee-How?"
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.
We don't have Oleg to stand on.
I'm starting my new job as a human chess piece.
The money is great. I'm on knights next week.
Lil Nas X sold his sole to make these nike shoes with a drop of human blood
I used to be a head of human resources.
But then it got too personnel.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids
then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Swedish inventors have created cyborgs which are hard to distinguish from real humans.
Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.
I successfully crossbred a human and a coffee plant
The first human bean is here
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
How does a train eat human food?
I built a catapult that can send a human from the USA all the way to Africa
What country you end up in depends on the Angola approach
My friend creates hybrid animals. She made a cow with human glutes. It turned out to be so cute!
I really like to look at her butt-ox!
9 times out of 10 a carnivore will choose a small space rock over human flesh...
Because the rock is a little meteor.
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.
So I googled and told him exactly what I found.
Basically a skin for a friend.
Introducing the fauna of the human body
Human interest for 2021 Lent
A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.
This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...
What did the fish say to the human
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?
The Mama Roach asked "What will happen to us if that human sprays us with Raid?"
The Papa Roach replied "Suffocation. No breathing."
Severed Human Nose Found
I live across from a lake and some fisherman found a severed human nose. The detective on the case asked if I know who it belongs to. I replied, "no body nose."
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs?
Ridiculously photogenic humans (Credit: how.how)
I have a human DNA joke
It’s pretty long. It comes in 46 parts. Also, everyone tells the joke differently, but usually family members tell pretty much the same joke.
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
My wife said, “I don’t understand the science behind human cloning.”
I said, “That makes two of us.”
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.
We don't have Oleg to stand on.
If you want to make easy money, just take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
My wife said, “I don’t quite understand the science behind human cloning.”
Me: That makes two of us.
Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
My friend hit it big taking pictures of salmon in human clothes.
He said it was like shooting fish in apparel.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs...
I've just been offered a job as a human chess piece...
The money is good.
I'm on knights this week.
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