What do you call a young adult who can’t leave her house due to a pandemic?

Quaran-teen

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?

A mon

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a haunted house drenched in gasoline?

Petrolfied

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Velvet_Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snow house without a toilet?

An ig.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ariabug
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?

A fourest

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?

Adoorbell.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inoobie_am
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call houses who have good behavior?

Manors.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me today what do you call a damaged horse house?

Unstable.

Fair play have to hand it to him.. he got me.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolkirky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman on top of a house?

Ruth!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a farmer is stuck in his house and can’t get out to the fields?

Corn-tine

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Man11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pirate that sets a house on fire

An Arrrrrrrrrsonist

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/animatedbutler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tennis player who can’t clean his house?

Novak

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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What do you call a swat team of alligators going to a suspect's house?

Gatorade

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeetle420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a kid raised in a whore house?

A brothel sprout.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I asked my dog what we should call the top of our house

He just looked at me like he had no clue what I said.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zdws19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Now that’s what i call a tree house
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S4mm96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The lights in my house just went out so I have to call an electrician.

I’m unable to deal with the current situation.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haas19
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Who does a fish call to clean his house?

A Mermaid.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hen house with two doors?

A coupe.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/missingfmercury
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eviction notice for a person who lives inside a ball-shaped house and got hurt by a fighting move

a roundhouse kick

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unoriginalname127
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Me leaving my parents' house: I'll call you later!

My dad: don't call me later, call me dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bird just outside the house?

A Portuguese

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Who did the fish call when he wanted to buy a house?

An eel estate agent

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyStunny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter just told me this one. "What do you call a cat that owns a house?"

A hoMEOWner.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lachessys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who smiles at you when you leave the house and smiles again when you come back?

Neighbor's wife

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayrane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're an entomologist, your girlfriend calls you to save her every time there's a bug in her house

Any time there's an insect in my girlfriend's house she calls me over to handle it, usually to cup it and throw it outside. On this fine occasion I observed what looked like a very small roach (Order: Blattodea), possibly a german roach, the kind that are much less freaky huge but more likely to infest a house. Not wanting to take any chances with a german roach infestation, I immediately smashed the little guy instead of saving him.

My GF asks, "what was it? a roach?"

The body is pretty squished and it's hard to see any identifiable features.

I say, "I'm pretty sure it's a Splattodea"

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobosaurusRex2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who turns into a house every full moon?

A warehouse!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zebogo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a canine working at a ware house?

A Warewolf

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/denmark_ball
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a burning doll house

A Barbie-Que!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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What do you call kids born in a whore house?

Brothel Sprouts.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dfd179
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Who did dad call when his house was infested with flies?

The SWAT Team

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/royaj77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call somebody who is afraid of houses?

Home-aphobe.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcpat21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gay house

a HOMEosexual

thanks dad

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xMarminq_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dirty window on the back side of a house?

A pane in the rear to clean.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhhsam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Who do the cows call after buying a new house?

The mooving company!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Duhurau
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call kids moving out of the house with a dadjoke making dad?

Groaned up.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImClumZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a ghost that breaks into your house and steals from you?

A Boogaler

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BloatedSalmon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato that sits around the house watching videos online all day?

A You-tuber.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrboston9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the postman only delivers bills to your house?

fee-mail

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChimpyChild
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pasta that can’t get into their house?

Gnocchi

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MLZ_ent
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?

A mon.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xene_s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a house without a loo?

An ig.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a lady on top of a house?

Ruth

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamiieradcliffe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog on top of a house?

A woof.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GibHib
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who lives on top of a house?

Ruth

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLMR56
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call children who are born in whore houses?

Brothel sprouts.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluefoot55
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
🚨︎ report

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