What insect do hound-dog hate

Mosquitooooooww

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👤︎ u/MJPokemon
📅︎ May 04 2020
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I hear hound dogs are very frugal...

They track all their scents.

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👤︎ u/enderfiend
📅︎ Jan 11 2018
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I asked the barber to cut my hair like elvis

He swung his hips, sang hound dog, and shaved it all off

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👤︎ u/eltegs
📅︎ Nov 20 2017
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I got the DNA test results back for my two adopted dogs...

I told my dad that one of the dogs is a purebred plott hound.

Dad says, "So if she gains weight, then the plott thickens."

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📅︎ Aug 09 2017
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Was watching a movie on my phone

There was a dog barking in the movie, and a neighbors dog was barking at the same time. My girlfriend points this out and I turn to her with the biggest "this is my chance grin" and told her that it's just my surround hound system.

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👤︎ u/shaneLeezy
📅︎ Mar 26 2016
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Cheat sheet for Dads on Halloween

What is a Vampire favorite fruit?

  • Neckterines

What kind of dogs do Vampires like best?

  • Blood hounds

How does a ghost cry?

  • Boo Hoo

What does a skeleton always say before he eats?

  • Bone Appetite

What kind of key should you always take to a haunted house?

  • Skeleton Key

Why do Vampires need mouthwash?

  • Because they have bat breath

What kinds of street do Zombies like?

  • Dead ends.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

  • Frost Bite

What did the black cat call the mouse on roller skates?

  • Meals on wheels

What does a vampire never at a restaurant?

  • A stake sandwich

What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?

  • It's a pain in the neck.

Why did the witch stand in front of the podium?

  • To give a Screech

What does a ghosts have for dessert?

  • I-Scream

What is a skeletons favorite instrument?

  • A trombone

What kind of dog does a mad scientist have?

  • A Lab

Be honest, how many did you get? What is your dad score?

EDIT: can't get spoiler tags to work...

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👤︎ u/Gnolaum
📅︎ Oct 31 2014
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I just got dad joked by my buddy...

My dog, a beagle, was trying to get comfortable in my chair.

I said to the dog: "dammit Blue you're bugging the hell out of me."

My buddy: "Would you say he is hounding ya?"

Commence groan.

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📅︎ Jun 21 2014
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Redditor dad joked in /r/aww

/r/mitchstanton > That dog is amazing with kids!

/r/jeffontiv17 > Wonder how much he charges per hour.

/r/crash7800 > Looks like quite a few times, but he's just funning. Won't really knock her over.

Link to comment

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📅︎ Sep 12 2014
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