Now stop horsing around.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elarandra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Just horsing around...

Background: we have two horses who have their own paddocks next to each other and are both the same age but not related. My 6 year old daughter was helping me pick the horse poop up in the paddocks today.

My daughter: β€œdad are our two horses brothers or just best friends?”

I said: β€œthey are not brothers sweet heart and I am not sure they are best friends, but one things for sure - they definitely are neigh-bours.

She laughed, I laughed. It was my proudest dad joke moment ever!! Haha.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smurfman1900
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Horsing around
πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KevlarYarmulke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Forcing to stop horsing around
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hackarb0ii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter keeps horsing around during nap time

I’m tired of her foal play

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zeusthedog92
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Quit horsing around
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jackthecricketer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Just horsing around
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/svetlana45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Got her (horsing around). imgur.com/57BWOQc
πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVillain117
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Quit horsing around

What did the daddy horse say to the mommy horse after they had their second accidental baby?

Foal me once, shame on you, foal me twice, shame on me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RestlessWonder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Stop Horsing Around Guys (Facebook Comment Chain) imgur.com/GT65oD9
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamescahill23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
I was just 'Horsing Around'! reddit.com/r/gainit/comme…
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WeMoveMountains
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
🚨︎ report
The guy behind me at a red light kept horsing around

http://i.imgur.com/Y1Jh0h3.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rickrandom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2016
🚨︎ report
My brother and I were horsing around and my dad hit us with this one.

He tossed a pair of scissors at our feet and calmly said, "Cut it out you two."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewFreeman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.

They’re calling it The Two Tires

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LEGOM3426
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My horse has insomnia and keeps everyone awake

She's a nightmare

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the Amish call a DUI?

Horsing around ;)

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/L0kdoggie
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I really don't like hanging around horses. Every time I come up with an idea, they say it won't work.

They're a bunch of neigh-sayers.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Anon likes to horse around...
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/issacjohnson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My town recently elected a horse as Mayor, and I’m worried nothing will get done around here

He keeps voting Nay

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isarealboy13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a horse that moves around a lot?

Unstable

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bomemeianrhapsody
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
After a long day the horse family is gathering around the dinner table

Son: Hey, what's up? Dad: How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to your food?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ib0T
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I started taking the girl I like out to places horses are kept.

I just want a stable relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epikshit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Say what you will about horse girls

But they definitely know how to ride

Edit: First time post here, just felt like horsing around

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Majestic_Horseman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate being around horses...

They’re such neigh-sayers.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_drumstic_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I had terrible internet connection on my farm till I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 534
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The Lone Ranger

and Tonto had been riding hard for hours when they can to a town. The Lone Ranger and Tonto ties up their horses to the hitching post. He told Tonto β€œthe horses are hot, run around them in a circle until they cool down.” He went into the bar and ordered a drink. A stranger walked up and said β€œYou’re the Lone Ranger, right?” He said yea and the stranger said β€œyou left your injun running”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thenewfoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My lazy friend got a job at a stable...

Now he can REALLY horse around.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

πŸ‘︎ 258
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad told me to stop pretending to be a farm animal

He was sick of me horsing around

πŸ‘︎ 159
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hdeifh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a disagreeable horse?

A neigh sayer.

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nemorianism
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Race horse Pat

There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.

Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Pat’s records and Pat was a little upset with this.

After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, β€œHey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.” Charlie responds, β€œgo away old man, I’m better than you ever were.” Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.

After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said β€œWe will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.” Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.

After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. β€œHey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So don’t get all cocky and think you are going to win.” Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.

The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.

Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, β€œWow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!” Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, β€œSay that again! Say it again!” The dog says a little confused, β€œWell I just said that you both were so great out there.” Pat says, β€œCharlie! It’s a talking dog!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnappyOrange69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the stallion and the fly get along?

The stallion was always horsing around and fly wouldn't stop bugging him.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A man was trotting across the Prairie when is horse suddenly died...

It took him three days to make it to the closest town. To his dismay, nobody in that town had a horse for sale. So he started walking to the next town. After three days the man, exhausted, started asking around and looking for a horse for sale.Again, nobody could help him.He did,however,stumbled upon a place that sold horses but the man in charge was fresh out.

"Sold my last one just yesterday,"he said."I do, however, have a brother that sells horses. He's about a day's walk west.He owns a corral. He might have a horse to sell you."

So, once again, he sets foot West to the next town and finds the mans brother.

"I heard you might have a horse for sale, he asks."

"Well, I have one, but he don't look so good."he replies.

"I don't care. I've been walking for darn near a week and I'm tired and exhausted. I'll take him."

So after the man pays for the horse, he hops on him takes off and the horse hits a tree and stops.

"Hey,"the man says." I think you sold me a blind horse.Fact is, I'm sure of it!"

"Sir, I told you he don't look so good."the man fires back.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Horseshoe

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in its socks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Book800
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
a joke my dad told that took 2 weeks to pay off

(the joke makes more sense in dutch)

My dad talking to my nephew about his pet horse he used to have.

"My horse was an oddball, wherever we'd go he'd look for water to splash around in. one time we went to the beach and he'd jump into the water and swim around."

Two weeks later we're hanging out and my aunt tells dad she heard the story about his horse, and asked what kind of horse it was.

"a seahorse"

(in dutch he talked about a dog, and a seal in dutch is "zeehond" (seadog))

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewney
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar...

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he wants a beer. The horse goes "neigh." So the bartender kicks him out for wasting space, and on top of it, horsing around. 30 minutes later, a donkey comes in, orders the most expensive drink and a round for the house. When it comes time to pay the tab, the donkey says, "oh, by the way, you kicked out my husband, a horse, earlier," then walks out without paying. The bartender was upset, but knew he'd serve the occasional horse's ass.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue8844
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
🚨︎ report
My ten-year-old son: Dad, did you hear about the barn party after midnight that was getting out of hand?...

... Finally the sheep yells, stop horsing around, I’m trying to sheep. - Love this kid.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TRipley1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Coke. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay -- you're already dead.

Guy: Golly!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble, too.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...?

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of the Titanic. You can do all the drugs you want, and you'll never die -- you're already dead.

Guy: Neat! I never realized hell was such a happenin' place!

Devil: You gay?

Guy: No.

Devil: Oh, you're gonna hate Fridays

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My physics teacher today

He's normally filled with dad jokes, but today was a bit more than usual.

Physics problem about horse pulling cart

Teacher stands up on table and makes horse noises

Class laughs

Teacher: What? I'm a horse! It's a bit of a long tale!

Class laughs

Teacher: but, let's stop horsing around and get to the mane point!

Student: You're on a roll today Mr. Teacher!

Teacher: No, I'm on a table!

Later on in class

Teacher: As you can see forces come in pairs! Pulls out a pear and opens it up revealing F and -F on each side

And then later on

Student: Hold on Mr. Teacher, I'll fix the calculations.

Teacher grabs onto desk

Teacher: When can I stop holding on?

Just a typical day in physics for me.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdventurePee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report
I hung up on my husband's dad joke.

My husband and I aren't planning on kids just yet, but he'll be great with the dad jokes if we ever have some.

A few weeks back, he called to ask if I needed anything from the store on his way home from work. I said no, and he followed that up with the random observation, "Hey, there's horses over there!"

I was initially confused, because the way he said it made it seem like they were in the road, and asked, "...what are they doing?"

There was a brief pause and he said, "Oh... just horsing around in a field."

I immediately hung up.

Edit: A word.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DangerousDaisies
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my nephew during my birthday party.

Yesterday was my birthday and my family took me out for lunch. My cousin has a 2 year old son and they were horsing around. One thing led to another and his son bumped his head on a lamp. After a few seconds he started crying and everybody stopped talking. I look over at my cousin and say "He'll be fine, he's probably just a little light headed". The only person who laughed was my uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnyapplsede
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you say to a girl with a broken nose?

I broke my nose in a really stupid horse-related accident in Montana.

Dad takes me to the local walk-in clinic. It's mostly empty, as it's around 7pm. As we're giving the insurance information and whatnot to the receptionist, Dad is busy doing that thing where he's texting without his cheaters so he's having to squint and hold the phone away and he's really not paying attention to some question the receptionist is asking...

So I whack him on the arm (with a towel held to my face) and say "Dad, pay attention."

Unblinking, he turns in my direction, without even looking directly at me, he mutters "Shut up, or I'll hit you again."

The receptionist was not pleased. He told the same joke to the doctor who stitched me up, and he laughed his ass off.

Actually, dad cracked so many jokes that the doctor kept having to pause while stitching up my nose. He took so long that the anesthetic wore off and I could definitely feel the last few stitches.

Dr: "Now sir, the stitches are going to cause your daughter's nose to swell quite a bit." Dad: "EVEN BIGGER!? That's amazing!"

Me: "Shut up Dad". Dad: (pinching his nose, speaking nasally) "Shut up Dad".

Unamused 18 year old daughter.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wanderingstar625
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
🚨︎ report
What makes for a stable marriage?

Horsing around

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Graavy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
🚨︎ report
April’s showers bring sad horses.

A horse was in a hurry to make a sandwich before the last day of the month of April but was missing one ingredient, as 12:01 rolled around, all the horse had to say was β€œMay? Oh!” β€œNeighs”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slothking666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.