https://imgur.com/a/kSgkZuY

I'm handy with a lot of stuff, and I like to try new things, but my main job is a software developer. My father built his garage when I was about 6. He built a 24' wide and 28' long 2 story garage and it was the biggest garage in the area. So many projects done in that garage over the years. So I wanted to build a garage of my own. The timing was perfect with the work from home shift, I could work on the garage during the day, and work on my job during night.

But I wanted mine to be bigger.

I got the local building codes and learned that I could go 35' high. So I planned a 24' wide, 44' long, 35' high building. The first floor would be 12' high, then 8' 2nd and 3rd floors, with a 5:12 roof. AKA, big. But because my property is oddly shaped, I needed a variance to build 12' off the property line. And because of that, they limited me to 26', or only 2 floors. I was angry, so I said if I'm limited to 2 floors, I'm going to make them as big as possible. Thus, 2x 12' floors.

As per the mods request, here's a detailed account to my experience thus far. If you take away ANYTHING from this, I think the biggest takeaway I had was the floor joists. If you're building multi-story, look at that section.

Starting out, my buddy broke out the survey equipment. Since the height of the ground was not exactly level, the footer depth requirements were different. Minimum 12" deep, 2' wide footer for 12" block, which would be the first 3 courses of block. Scraped away the topsoil, but we don't have topsoil, just clay, so that wasn't bad. Bought a 24" bucket for my 70 year old backhoe, gave it a tune up, and set stakes. Pulled string and that would be my guide to dig. Getting square was also important.

Set rebar in the footer hole, and brought in 10 yards of concrete. I bought a bobcat quick attach plate off ebay, found a pair of pallet forks, and made my own forks. That was really helpful to move all the block to exactly where I needed it. Survey equipment out again, found my 4 corners, and laid 2 courses of block. Took the 2 diagonal measurements and it was off square by 3", so I had to tear it down and take more measurements. Second time, measurements were dead on. Pulled string, and I had my line.

Got bag of lime and cement and a load of sand. Half bag each, 15 shovels of sand, mix it up, add water until good consistency. Then laid block all around. 3 course of 12" block for below grade. Since the original plan was 35' high, and I had a l

There are lots of things about being old that are absolute garbage. Every day, a new part of me seems to hurt and I have one speed: slow.

But there is also a sense of liberation. I finally feel free to tell the truth.

After so many years of being tormented by lies, I can’t begin to tell you how good this feels.

The first lie – the one that began it all – came in a small, windowless room in an anonymous looking office block.

I was fresh out of film school. I was ambitious, bursting with ideas. I was ready for success.

I was also thousands of dollars in debt.

I needed a job – and when I saw an advert for a filmmaker role my depressing visions of stacking shelves or serving burgers and fries faded away.

It was described as working with a new company based in a city near my home, the starting salary was sweet, more than enough for me to begin digging myself out of my financial hole, and candidates had to have experience working on documentaries.

As I sat in that small room, I thought of the film scripts I had written, of the dramatic short I had directed. Of the way my imagination had always been praised by my tutors.

I was all about the fictional.

The door opened and two men walked in. They both wore beige suits and neither had a necktie. I could not decide if I was overdressed or underdressed in my denim shirt and skinny black tie.

They thanked me for coming today, and Beige suit #1 began the interview by asking:

“How would you sum up your filmmaking?”

“I am all about the documentary,” I replied.

He smiled.

I was acing this.

Beige suit # 2 then asked, “Can you describe your most recent filmmaking project to us?”

I thought back to my short: ‘Girl meets boy. Boy meets alien. Love is strange’.

Then I answered: “I recorded the life of a young man over the course of twenty-four hours. I wanted to show the truths that society forces men to mask. Their insecurity, their pain, their weakness,”

I was pretty pleased with that off the cuff fiction. I gave myself nine out of ten.

It looked like both Beige suits were impressed.

Beige suit # 1 asking, “How long was the finished film?”

Beige suit # 2 following straight after with, “Is there anything you did not include, any truths that were too raw?”

Thinking on all ten of my toes at once I went right back to them with:

“Ninety minutes,” and “No.”

Their faces fell as one. Two mouths drooped, two heads leant forwards and both made notes.

Damn, I thought, what had I said wrong? Ninety minutes was lo

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I am getting increasingly worried about the amount of warning signals that are flashing red for hyperinflation- I believe the process has already begun, as I will lay out in this paper. The first stages of hyperinflation begin slowly, and as this is an exponential process, most people will not grasp the true extent of it until it is too late. I know I’m going to gloss over a lot of stuff going over this, sorry about this but I need to fit it all into four posts without giving everyone a 400 page treatise on macro-economics to read. Counter-DDs and opinions welcome. This is going to be a lot longer than a normal DD, but I promise the pay-off is worth it, knowing the history is key to understanding where we are today.

SERIES (Parts 1-4) TL/DR: We are at the end of a MASSIVE debt supercycle. This 80-100 year pattern always ends in one of two scenarios- default/restructuring (deflation a la Great Depression) or inflation (hyperinflation in severe cases (a la Weimar Republic). The United States has been abusing it’s privilege as the World Reserve Currency holder to enforce its political and economic hegemony onto the Third World, specifically by creating massive artificial demand for treasuries/US Dollars, allowing the US to borrow extraordinary amounts of money at extremely low rates for decades, creating a Sword of Damocles that hangs over the global financial system.

The massive debt loads have been transferred worldwide, and sovereigns are starting to call our bluff. Governments papered over the 2008 financial crisis with debt, but never fixed the underlying issues, ensuring that the crisis would return, but with greater ferocity next time. Systemic risk (from derivatives) within the US financial system has built up to the point that collapse is all but inevitable, and the Federal Reserve has demonstrated it will do whatever it takes to defend legacy finance (banks, broker/dealers, etc) and government solvency, even at the expense of everything else (The US Dollar).

I’ll break this down into four parts. ALL of this is interconnected, so please read these in order:

Part One: The Global Monetary System- “A New Rome” <

[Part Two: Derivatives, Systemic Risk, & Nitroglycerin- “The Ouroboros” < ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superst

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

The doctor says it terminal.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

He lost May