Did you hear they shared the recipes for all Heinz condiments online?

Yeah, they’re open sauce now

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeijiSB
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I just watched a documentary, β€œThe Secrets of Heinz”…

I can’t believe they’re spilling the beans. I hope it doesn’t ketchup with them.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2021
🚨︎ report
In Heinz site, a roma doesn't make good scents.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bewondered
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been rubbing ketchup in my eyes every day for the past month.

In heinz-sight, probably wasn't a good idea.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JenovasChild666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
🚨︎ report
The Heinz company came out with a pair of eyeglasses.

They claim it will make your vision 57/57

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife bought store brand ketchup despite the fact that I like Heinz. I threw it out, so now I guess she knows....

....Heinzsight is 20/20

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostShadow21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I read a press release from Heinz saying: "We will never make a Bolognese version of our Alphabetti Spaghetti.

I thought, Blimey. They don't mince their words.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I rubbed ketchup in my eyes once.

In Heinz sight is wasn’t a very smart thing to do.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MichaelJVader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Heinz
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImElyk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I smeared ketchup all over my glasses.

Too bad I only realized what a mistake that was in Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2021
🚨︎ report
At least he’s trying
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ogkerung
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret getting ketchup in my eyes...

But I guess that's Heinz Sight for you

πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stevewezzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I was having a discussion with a friend about who makes the best ketchup...

In Heinz sight, I'm still not sure.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_365
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2021
🚨︎ report
The doctor told me to rub ketchup onto my eyes to see better

Heinz-sight is 20/20

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lalalallama15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Heinz Doofenshmirtz build inators in men's restrooms?

Because he would be defeated by a gent pee.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paPAneta
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Heinz tomato ketchup joke

That tomato better ketchup because it’s be(Heinz)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cursed-boy
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
In Heinz sight, the sign wasn't a great idea.

https://i.imgur.com/4p6xf5X.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/commanderjarak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the man put his glasses in a can of beans?

To get Heinzsight.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDukeOfSpiffing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I got ketchup in my eye.

I learned Heinz site is not always 20/20.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My son told me, β€œDad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.”

I said, β€œThat’s Heinz sight for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 456
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I never understood why they called it "fake blood"...

Instead of Heinz Fiction.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhaiden
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to an Eye Doctor because I was having trouble seeing

I thought he would give me glasses, but he said he had a better solution and suddenly squirted ketchup into my eyes!

I was about to object, then realized I could see perfectly! I asked him how it worked, and he shrugged and said...

"Heinz-sight is 20/20"

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the boy who got tomato sauce in his eyes?

Dunno. But he probably learnt his lesson because Heinz sight is 20/20!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hamsters_paradise
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I decided to rub ketchup in my eyes

In Heinz sight it wasn’t a good idea

πŸ‘︎ 144
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LarryLones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does ketchup always have good vision?

Because Heinz's sight is always 20-20.

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What have I done..
πŸ‘︎ 196
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/faggyswag21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I can always tell what I should have done as long as I'm looking at ketchup.

Yeah, you could say I have perfect Heinz-site

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvb1123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally rubbed ketchup into my eyes

In Heinz sight, I definitely should’ve washed my hands first.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I just spilt baked beans everywhere.

In Heinz-sight, that was a bad idea

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Salt_E_Plum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel his pain
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I poured ketchup all over myself

In heinzsight, it was a horrible idea

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LOLFLYINGPIGS2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once

It was a bad idea in Heinz-sight

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_evil_nick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz-sight.
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/curiouselise
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.

It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My son said, β€œI accidentally put ketchup in my eye. I should have been more careful.”

I said, β€œThat’s Heinz sight for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.

It was a evil idea in Heinz- sight.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing eyes with ketchup

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abowlofspicyramen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
To save money I made myself a pair of glasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles.

In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair

πŸ‘︎ 679
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sekearney95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.

It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I just squirted ketchup in my eye

In Heinz-sight, it was a bad idea.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkShrimpz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes.

But that's Heinz sight for you.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoneMoreHip
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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