What do you call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
This made miso happy
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasnβt happy at all. βHow much have you had to drink?β she asked sternly, staring at me. βNothingβ I slurred. βLook at me!β she shouted. βItβs either me or the pub, which one is it?β
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, βItβs you. I can tell by the voice.β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
My wife and I just celebrated 10 years of happy marriage...
It was coincidentally our 30th wedding anniversary.
π︎ 292
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Why was the man at the barbecue so happy?
He met the grill of his dreams
π︎ 26
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills
π︎ 435
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
Happy administrator noise
π︎ 34
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
Happy Parade Day! March Fourth!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
I named my dog "Happy New Year"
when I call him in every night, the neighbors think I've lost my mind
π︎ 99
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
What do cats eat when they're happy?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
Happy Hanukkat!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday".
I was so proud.
π︎ 32k
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
My son's a happy boy... I recently persuaded him to swallow a flashlight...
...you should have seen his face light up.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
There are some people who are happy,
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
What's a happy cat's favorite color?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Happy Ending
A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and Iβm happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
Happy Lunar New Year 2021
Hopefully good health and prosperity aren't too much to "ox" for.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
Which eye doctor makes you happy?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
What do search engines say when they're happy ?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
Happy Leonardo DiβCrabrio day continued
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Q: Why was the church happy when the man lost his leg in an explosion?
A: Because he was a blast-femur.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Happy Leonardo DiβCrabrio day
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Happy New Year
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Happy New Year fellow dad jokesters! For 2021, Iβm going to turn all of my problems into opportunities.
Starting with my severe drinking opportunity
π︎ 28
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Happy Ballet Day!
It's 2/2. Plie have a good one!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Seven dwarves were all in bed, feeling Happy.
When Happy got out, they all felt Grumpy !!
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
My friend wasn't happy with his new car, so I said "Dude, just roll with it".
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Say "Happy Hole-y Days" instead of "Happy Groundhog day"
So that you include other later winter hole-based celebrations.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Happy birthday
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
*happy feminist noise*
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
"A happy man is one who has found meaning in life"
π︎ 136
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
Happy Chronikkah
π︎ 30
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
I finally kicked out my girlfriend about six months ago, and it's been nothing but Happy Days for me since.
The bitch took all the other box sets.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
If a cowboy is happy,
Does that make him a Jollyrancher?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Happy New Year! Remember kids, you need to make some good resolutions to become a better version of yourself.
If you donβt, theyβll just go in one year and right out the other.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
Day one: happy new year everyone
Is it just me or does last year feel like yesterday
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Happy Birthday Beethoven
In honor of Ludwig von Beethoven's 250th birthday ...
What is Beethoven doing to celebrate his 250th birthday?
He's decomposing!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Happy Ho.idays to friends and .oved ones c.ose and far. B.essings to you and yours this Yu.e season.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
I told a group of storm troopers βHappy Pew Year....β
But they totally missed the punchline.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020
But next year will be 2022
(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
I'm not happy.
Really, which dwarf are you, then?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
You know, I had such a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down the hill.
π︎ 181
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
