What happens when a painter gets cold?
He/she puts on another coat.
Did you see where the computer hacker went?
What did the hacker say in the Sex Ed class?
Why did the painter shit on the floor?
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
What would Hitler´s book have been called if he had actually become a painter?
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
Police officer, "So where did the hacker go?"
Me, "I have no idea. He just ransomwere."
What do you get when you mix a penis, potato & a boat?
If a gardener has green fingers what does a hacker have?
Why did the hacker send viruses by email?
He wanted to give people a positive Outlook.
Had a painter and decorator round this week. He's a furloughed airline pilot...
He made a lovely job of the landing!
Found out my friend is a hacker
A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.
The home owner comes out and says “That’s all white.”
Pete & Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?
Repeat.
Ok. Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?
Repeat….?
Ok. Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out & who was left?…
My grandpa’s favorite joke. (Peter 5)
What do you call a shitty painter?
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten.
reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
I was taught by my driving instructor to hold the steering wheel at 10 & 2 o clock
At other times i would just crash.
What do you call a painter who loves running through the grass?
If painters paint, and teachers teach...
Officer: how did the hacker escape?
Me: I dunno, he ransomware
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
What did the painter say after his vehicle was stolen?
“Officer, how did the hackers get away?”
“No idea. They must have ransomware.”
I just heard that Snap, Crackle & Pop, Tony the Tiger and Capn Crunch have all been killed.
Sounds like the work of a Cereal Killer.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
Getting one dose of Pfizer & one dose of Moderna is called a
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
A poet & a thief walk into a bar...
... Bar tender says "Hi Dave".
I had a YouTube channel where I talked about famous painters, but YouTube took it down
I've been de-Monet-tized.
How does a painter display his masterpiece?
A detective showed up at my house and asked me where I was between 5 & 6
What is the difference between a Protestant & a Catholic church?
A Catholic church is full of gild!
Why was Caravaggio the Italian painter penniless when he died?
I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
What does a painter do when he/she is cold?
They put on another coat.
What does a painter do when he gets cold?
Where did the hacker go?
I don't know, he ransomware
What does a hacker say during sex?
What do you get when you mix a penis & a potato?
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just ransomware.
Just had a painter and decorator round, hes a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot.
He made a lovely job of the landing....
"Officer, how did the hacker you were following, escape ?"
"Don't know he just ransomware"
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