Reese’s Pieces
An A-Salt Rifle.
He said "I'm going to choo choo"
Its axle rose.
He had troubleshooting
He just pulled out a sharpie and started drawing all over me. I could not for the life of me figure out why, but it was very unprofessional
A Chimp off the old Glock
Now it’s a Sub Machine Gun
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡Packing Peanuts
....just to watch him dye.
I'm planning to give it a shot, though.
The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
He was a small arms dealer.
I have had a Canon printer for years.
Surgeons revealed he is now 'fully recovered'.
You are fired.
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
except for a hand gun.
Luckily the ink washed off after a couple days
He's a small arms dealer
What a revolting response to a gift. I was stunned.
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
Now my robberies have gotten a lot more successful.
A congealed weapon
my therapist said, “You might be getting carried away.”
I continued to fire into the ceiling. “Not without a fight!”
Because they go “pew pew pew”.
That means that toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast
He dyed on impact.
Apparently being a small arms dealer is frowned upon.
And shot a hole in my air guitar.
....just to watch him dye.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
He's a small arms dealer.
