Government business relations in Japan Puns

...sails are going through the roof.

The "p"

But the real fun is in the execution.

If you buy one roof, it’s on the house.

They're both supposed to have checks and balances.

I think they should be called as Bill Gates

When the ships are returned to port, it helps them Scandinavian.

I have to make every second Count.

They became frenchised

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

just in case there’s a traffic jam.

Because the houses he leaves, are structurally in-caw-wrecked

I am #1 in the #2 business.

Yep, that's original.

Sails should go through the roof

A Pikachu-chu.

....is to win the lottery.

...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

They had a little boy.

I was glad they had some skin in the game.

So Kim runs an undergarment and such clothing store, and I recently ordered myself some pyjamas. I fortunately she got the orders mixed up and sent me some type of dressing gown instead. All I could say was Kim,oh-no!

Aunt Teak.

Parme-san

It’s a small scale operation.

Jokyo

I guess you can call them Japa-knees

I hope it’s not a wind up

They were denied axis.

It's the Wurst-käse-scenario

Nekko waffers.

For God's sake.

Back & Body Hurts

The steaks have never been higher.

I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.

“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”

They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”

“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”

It's a Whisky business

Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.

...the Land of the Rising Son?”

...are countless.

After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.

Gastroenterologists have heard every colon/rectum/bile/poop-related joke ad naseum, but I managed to sling a couple of original zingers while being prepped for my colonoscopy.

#1

Me to anesthesiologist: How long have you worked at this clinic?

Anest: About a year. Been with field medical teams my entire career. This is the first time settled down in a clinic...and first time in gastro.

Me: I see. After years in the field, how do like working in an orifice?

Anest.: LOL, no idea how I haven't heard that one yet.

#2

Doctor: We're administering the sedative now. You'll wake up in the recovery bay where I'll brief you.

Me: OK, I'll see you on the outside...[getting groggy]...after you see me on the inside...

Doctor: OK, I'm stealing that one....

One Okinawa.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

The sales are going through the roof!

Sails are through the roof.