Why did the placing of the Queen's coffin back in the vehicle go so smoothly?
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 19 2022
If you go from one end of the pool, to the other end, what's the word for coming back ?
π︎ 16
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︎ Jul 26 2022
my 7y old: Why did the fox go back to his den?
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 15 2022
Where to Egyptians go when they have a sore back?
π︎ 277
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︎ Feb 02 2022
I put my child in their cot to go to sleep and now I have to pay a million bucks to get them back!
Turns out it was a kid-nap
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︎ Jun 04 2022
Hey kids. When girls get pregnant, they automatically go back to when they were younger.
Yep, they become youth-full.
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︎ Jun 17 2022
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 14 2022
I used to be able to go to the store with only a quarter and come back with a carton of milk, but now I have to pay five whole dollars.
Some people blame inflation, but personally, I blame the security cameras.
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︎ Feb 24 2022
Brooms go back and forth gathering dirt on hard surfaces
But that's a sweeping statement.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 21 2022
Every time I go back to the balloon store, the prices are higher than before
π︎ 37
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︎ Nov 14 2021
Lets go back to the future!
π︎ 4k
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︎ Aug 02 2020
Why did the clock go back four seconds?
It was still hungry!
(Say it out loud if you don't get it)
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 22 2021
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
In a surprising announcement the government has stated with all the issues recently instead of going forward in time we will go back 2 years...
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︎ Dec 31 2021
Iβm back in my hometown looking after my Dad who gets a little forgetful. I helped him with a transaction, and when we left the store he said βWe need to go to a trophy shop, I need to get a trophy that says-Best Son Ever- βAw Dad, youβre my trophyβ
He looks at me and says βItβs for your brother!β
Edit: Today he said he has to get all the info for my brothers trophyβ¦ because my brother just had a son and my dad wants to get a commemorative βtrophyβ for his grandson! Dβoh! Iβm supposed to be helping him with his confusion.
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︎ Jul 02 2021
Ever since I bought that ceramic statue my kids won't go in the back yard
It's gnome man's land now.
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︎ Oct 04 2021
I don't mind when the clocks go back for winter.
But when they forward is daylight robbery.
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 08 2021
Your eyelashes are the longest hairs on your body. They go up over your head, under the skin, down your neck, your back and finally resurface as arse hairs. Proof?
Pull just one arse hair and your eyes water.
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 03 2021
My cat wanted to go back to space
I just couldn't afford another cat astro fee.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 05 2021
So I go into the back yard with the pooper scooper to clean up after my dogs
An angry fly lands on my arm and says βwhy you taking my shit!?β
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 03 2021
Why couldn't the lion go back to his family after a night of debauchery?
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 31 2021
Back in the 70s and 80s, Iβd often dress up nicely, go out and order dinner for one, see movies alone, take long solitary walks...
Wow, Iβm really dating myself.
π︎ 21
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︎ May 22 2021
When you said life would go back to normal after June...
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︎ Feb 12 2021
My wife is returning to the office and thus has to go back to wearing work outfits. One of her complaints was that wearing a bra was such a drag...
Iβve always found them to be very uplifting.
π︎ 41
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︎ Jul 28 2020
We go wayy back
π︎ 68
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︎ May 18 2020
My recliner and I go way back.
π︎ 3k
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︎ Oct 08 2017
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Why should you keep at least a buck in your back pocket when you go gambling?
So you can bet your bottom dollar
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Yesterday I ate a clock it was very time consuming. I had to go back for seconds.
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 12 2019
A barber just told me I should go for a business in the front, party in the back style....
.....I told him I'd mullet over....
π︎ 35
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︎ Sep 05 2017
where does the pharaoh go when his back hurts
π︎ 14
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︎ May 21 2020
Why didn't the mayonnaise want to go back in the fridge?
Because it saw the salad dressing
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Just got back from riding some go karts with my son.
We had a wheely good time.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 25 2020
My date asked me to go back to her place for "a movie". I said sure.
She said, "How does popcorn sound?"
I said, "Crunchy."
π︎ 54
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︎ Jul 26 2018
I gave my daughter money to go buy a dog at the pet store. She disobeyed and came back with a cat instead.
Youβve got to be kitten me.
π︎ 18
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︎ Oct 14 2019
I used to upholster furniture for a living and hated it. My boss switched me to packing for a while then switched me back. I hate it so bad I have to go to a support group. Talking helps me to do the damned job.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 28 2020
I want to go back to the time when I was dating my wife.
So I can break up with her.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 02 2020
How far back in time did the hungry time traveler go?
He went back four seconds
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 03 2020
11 years ago my mother decided to go back and finish school. She earned her bachelors, masters, and just got her PhD. She asked if I was proud of her
"What's with the third degree?"
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︎ Jun 17 2017
I sprained my back while trying to see how low I could go, but there's nobody around to help me up.
π︎ 25
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︎ Sep 06 2019
My watch is on a diet. It can't go back for seconds
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 16 2018
Why did the clock go back four seconds?
π︎ 45
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︎ Feb 23 2021
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