How do you get down from an elephant?
You donβt, you get down from a goose
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︎ Jan 21 2021
How does harry potter get down a hill?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 20 2021
If there is one genre of music that raises me up on some days and gets me down other days
π︎ 40
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Anyone: Iβm gunna run down to the convenient store and get something to drink.
Dad: you should probably drive, running that far seems like a lot of unnecessary work.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
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︎ Dec 07 2020
When I write down the alphabet I never get past the letter "I"
I guess that's where I draw the line.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Tree before it gets cut down: wait! I'm a talking tree!
Lumberjack: and you will dialogue
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︎ Aug 21 2020
Somebody get the Captain! Thereβs been a hull breach! Weβre going down!
π︎ 46
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︎ Sep 08 2020
What note do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop βgive me a break man, I slowed down.β The cop starts beating on the guy and says...
βSo... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?β
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︎ Sep 19 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.
π︎ 14k
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︎ Dec 07 2019
Every time a car slows down, it always get offended
People keep shouting"Look! This guy has got some retardation!"
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︎ Sep 02 2020
If you ever get locked out of your home, sit down and talk to the lock calmly
Because communication is key
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︎ Aug 10 2020
My wife said, βWhy did you forget to get all the stuff from the grocery store that I wrote down?β
I said, βWhen I got there, I felt.....listless.β
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︎ Jul 30 2020
Iβll tell you what gets me down.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 09 2020
I donβt know how you guys get home every night but, I squat down, put my head between my knees and fall forward.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 08 2020
The presidents guards arenβt allowed to scream βget downβ before the president is attacked anymore.
They have to yell βDonald, Duck!β
Edit: whoever gave me the gold award, thank you so much. I would repay you in a way, but I donβt know who you are.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Wanna know what gets me down
π︎ 39
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︎ Mar 20 2020
How do u get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?
π︎ 11
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︎ May 12 2020
A man bet another that a group of hippies couldn't get the meat down from a really high shelf without a ladder.
The cannibal replied "I can't, the steaks are too high"
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Three tomatoes are walking down a street: papa tomato, mama tomato, and baby tomato. The baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him. He says...
π︎ 3
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︎ May 09 2020
(I seriously don't get this) A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down
He hiked several miles to a farmhouse, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight.
βSure,β said the farmer, βmy wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but theyβre off to college, and Iβm all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up.β
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.
The farmer called after him,βDidnβt you hear what I said? I have lots of room.β
βI heard you,β said the salesman, βbut I think Iβm in the wrong joke.β
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︎ May 31 2020
I ran out of laundry detergent today. I didn't let it get me down.
I realized it was just the start of a whole new Era.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 04 2020
Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"
It certainly looks like you got it half off!!
I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 15 2020
Everybody get down!
π︎ 111
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︎ Sep 07 2019
Get down
π︎ 42
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︎ Jun 15 2019
How do you get a one-armed man down from a flag pole?
π︎ 36
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︎ Jan 31 2020
How do you get down off an elephant?
You donβt. You get down off a duck.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 30 2020
How do you get Down off an Elephant?
You donβt, you get Down off a Duck
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 23 2020
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
By walking!.... JK ROLLING!
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 15 2021
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duck.
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 13 2020
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 02 2020
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
π︎ 29
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︎ Oct 05 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
π︎ 45
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
How do you get down from an elephant?
You donβt. You get down from a goose.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 21 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"
π︎ 81
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
What do you get when a piano falls down a mineshaft?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 07 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
π︎ 10
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︎ May 18 2020
How do you get down off of an elephant?
You don't get down off an elephant, you get down off of a goose.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 03 2020
The secret service arenβt allowed to yell βGET DOWNβ anymore if the president is about to be attacked.
Instead they say, βDONALD, Duck!β
π︎ 356
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︎ Oct 26 2019
How do you get down from an elephant?
You donβt. Down comes from a goose.
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 20 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell βDonald duckβ!
π︎ 52
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
π︎ 97
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
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