That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
It's night.
A subreddit.
Just kidding :)
“thank you for your cervix.”
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
It was more of a fanta sea.
And he said “food usually”.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
It tasted average.
I just see it rising up.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
It’s due to my weekend immune system
It was a patient dog
First I find a hat full of money then I get chased by an angry dude with a guitar.
I guess I only have my shelve to blame!
2:30
..this isn't for me.
I said to him that we should put something in the mix that meant a lot to us.
He asked why so I said "it'll be cement-amental"
Turns out they were Portu-Geese
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
It was called Microsoft
Wife: who’s skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: what’s in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: it’s a Phillips head screwdriver
This is just a ruff estimate, though.
and I have to admit it had some rock solid points.
It’s my dream job.
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
Sunday comes once a week.
Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy
"I guess that means all the Millennial Falcons are gone."
It said “Michelle”
I would have a daughter
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
But in Midevil times guys were named Lance a lot.
The spacebar
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
I haven’t reddit yet
I am not strong or godlike I am just constantly horny.
Did you know the temperature of a Bacta tank is lukewarm?
It was the hardest day of my life
Me (husband): I agree. This should be kept private.
Wife: groan...
...you have a lisp.
I was in so much shock all I could retaliate with was "what the Hellmann's"
I’m bacon out here!
A subreddit.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
