The Punner’s Prayer

Dear Lord as week seek to produce puns worthy of your praise, lettuce relish this opportunity. We ask that you would cause humor to sprout in the hearts of those who think us nuts. Continue to cultivate in us passion, fruit which beets back sadness and joy which leeks into others. Though some may say we are corny we know you will give us sage wisdom. Give us the confidence to know we are kale’in it as we bring choy to the world and live apply ever after.

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📅︎ Nov 13 2020
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Breakfast with Dad

I was eating breakfast with my parents at a hotel. It was a buffet style one. We were towards the end of the meal when this happened.

Dad: Did you see all the juices they had over there?

Me: Yeah, I went for orange.

Mom: Oooh do they have Passion Fruit and Guava juice? We could mix them and make POG.

Me: Nah, they had Cranberry, Orange, Apple, and Lemonade though; you could make COAL.

Dad: It's a good thing they didn't have Cranberry, Raspberry, Apple, and Pineapple. (He was already laughing at his own joke getting the last word out) ...Do you get it? (now in uncontrollable laughter)

Me: I could smell that one coming when you started it.

Mom groaned and pretended not to know us.

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👤︎ u/sekswalrus
📅︎ Dec 20 2013
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