From the Red Skelton radio show, with Red playing Bolivar Shagnasti, interviewing a new performer for his circus
Lady: Iโm a performer.
Red Skelton: Whatโs your forte?
Lady: Pardon?
Red Skelton: Your forte.
Lady: No, Iโm only 39.
Some get me into serious treble.
So I walk into the kitchen and see my Dad grab a big knife to cut some vegetables. "Whoa Dad, thought you just drew a knife on me." He proceeds to grab a sharpie and draw a knife on my forearm, then continues his vegetable chopping.
He instantly replied, โbut mom said I couldnโt play Fort Nightโ
(Heโs gonna be a great dad some day)
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
but I'm finding it really hard to get into it.
I looked at her and said โIโm trying very hard, but I donโt feel the need to go thereโ.
She didnโt say much to me the rest of our trip.
Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
To 45 it
Whatโs important is that I made an F Fort.
Me: We've got enough pillows to make a fivet.
Kid: What's a fivet?
Me: It's a little bigger than a fort; half the size of a tent.
Dad: f.o.r.t. Me: now say it twice Dad: fort fort Me: now say it three more times Dad: fort fort fort Me: now what do you eat soup with? Dad: (inserts the most Asian ass accent) โRICEโ No joke the moment he said that I had to post on reddit.
I would tell my co-workers to keep at it, because it would be Fort Worth It!
Now we are headed to Denver for a while, and I need a new one. Any suggestions?
David castlehoff
I yelled, "YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER!!" as I climbed out of fortโฆ
Daughter: Daddy, we are building a "fork" Dad: yes, it's very knife! Mom: umm... Dad: hope we can play again spoon!
Well I made a three-t.
And your mom made a two-t.
Until knightfall
Its just not my forte.
Why do I mention it? I figured it was noteworthy.
It wasn't exactly my forte.
An extension chord!
But it wasn't my forte
But itโs the fort that counts.
I told her to get out of my fort
I said that I could, but thatโs not my Forte.
It's the Fort that counts
KIA's Forte is something they do really well
Funny enough, so do all my cousins.
but it's really not my forte
It has never really been my forte.
Fort-hen
He's dead and it's not his forte
Turns out, not my Forte
The proof is in the pudding
This Christmas, my dad, brother, and I went over to my grandfather's house to visit. My grandpa has a pool table, so we always play a couple games. Our teams were my dad and my brother against my grandpa and me. After his turn, my dad goes over to a piano in the corner of the room and starts playing Christmas tunes. His turn quickly comes up and he's still playing the festive tunes on the piano. My grandpa yells at him, "Hey! We're playing pool. Stop playing piano." My dad replies, "Fine! I'll play forte," and continued to play Jingle Bells, but very loudly.
I was reading the top of all time dad jokes on this subreddit to my suite mates in Cortland. They do not appreciate the genius associated with these jokes. Wittiness is not their forte. So I decided to dad joke them myself. And dad joke them I did. They told me (after reading about 3), "These aren't funny at all Mike." I retaliated with "That's because you're not dad material." Again, no laughs, nor regrets.
One is a portfolio and the other is Fort Polio
So I banned her from my cardboard box fort.
Hey y'all. I have an aรงaรญ bowl food truck in Fort Worth, TX, and we've always had some pretty witty menu item names. For exmaple, we just took off "the Big Lebolwski"
We just added some things to our menu. Here it is: https://www.rollinnbowlin.com/menu
Anyone have a good funny pun name for our avocado toast? I'll post a picture of our menu on our food truck if someone gives me a really good name! And if you have any better names for any of our items, I'd love to hear them!
But she didnโt have the password to my pillow fort, so I couldnโt let her in.
One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.
It was the rogue fort.
It shall be called Fort Knightly.
What is this Dallas-Fort Worth?
...they had record sales every year.
Creds: @FortWorth_SEC
My God with that kind of money, you could man a fort!
I guess you can say it's my fort eh?
My friends were talking about what they were doing for the 4th of July and we were all going out of town except for one friend. She said "I'll be here, holding down the fort."
"You mean holding down the 4th?"
We we're crossing a bridge where, if you look to the left, you see a cliff over a river with an old US Fort. I said "hey, look at the fort, that looks really cool." My dad: "You ain't bluffing."
So my fiance and I were at a dinner with other people who were also engaged and the topic got around to forts in the living room. We talk about how often there should be a fort in the living room when one of the guys says that they should be put up every two weeks, the fortnight.
All of us future dads busted out laughing.
Back when I was younger I had a Canadian friend who had little kids. I came over one day and there was a blanket over the dining room table.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Oh," he said, "the kids are playing blanket forts. That's their table fort, eh?"
"Ah," I said, nodding wisely.
We went into the family room and they had a blanket over their sofa. My friend said, "That's their sofa fort, eh?"
Then we went into the living room. They had a blanket over the piano.
Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!
Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
I told her to get out of my fort.
I told her to get out of my fort.
I told her to get out of my fort.
I told her to get out of my fort.
I told her to get out of my fort
I told her to get out of my fort.
I told her to get out of my fort.
