Fors (locality) Puns

Its a pretty good deal

They didn’t like my critter sizing.

"Here's your Nickleback."

Looks like they are too busy today

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."

Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

Time does fly when you’re having fun!

He was cap-sized.

His other dog sat in the corner. It's a boxer.

I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"

I gave him a glass of water.

Always proud to be an organ donor.

They got Hugh.

I was happy to give him a full glass of water to help!

The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

“Just-ice has been served”

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

He was charged with assault without battery.

God Damnit

Apparently they just can’t take a little critter-sizing!

It was for a good gauze.

They refused to sere me beef today. The waiter said something about a stakeout

I went and got them a glass of water.

A spokesperson for the police said "Eventually he quacked under pressure".

I wanted a dog that was all put together.

He is calling in from the hospital with his four casts.

“Grande macchiato with oat milk, please.”

The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?”

“I’m not”, said the barista, “it’s a coughy filter”.

I might go take a gander.

They’re looking for the culprits, but they have nothing to go on.

For some reason, people are dying to get in there

...”That one is a freebie!”

Hats off to them for getting that passed

The police were called for domestos abuse

So I've been wanting to sell my motorcycle for a while but haven't gotten around to it.

While in the car this morning I saw a sign for a local shop that read "We buy used motorcycles." I pointed it out to her and she replies with, "if that's not a sign, I don't know what is."

I was so proud.

...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, “Well, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.

A Philly cheapskate

All I had to do was wok in for my interview!

She told me she had a bad experience with some water birds and doesn't sell them anymore. I angrily told her that a real aviary owner would sell water birds too. >!She said she and has no egrets.!<

But it’s really a naan issue.

So I gave him a glass of water...

I gave him a glass of water

I gave him a glass of water

I gave him a glass of water

When I got it home it made a bolt for the door

I felt generous so I gave him a couple glasses of water.

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.