I sat next to a baby on a ten hour flight, and I couldn’t believe that someone could cry for ten hours straight.

Even the baby seemed surprised.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2022
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My daughter just got me good… I said, β€œDid you know you can always see your own nose and your brain just ignores it?”

She said β€œyeah because it NOSE it’s there”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbeckett1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2022
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My flight was delayed an hour, but we got to our destination on time.

Our pilot must have been flying.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hknewt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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It’s a long one

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyerΒ persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bak_286
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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A church was hiring a new bell ringer

And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.

"I'll show you",said Stan.

They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.

"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"

"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.

All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.

"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.

Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."

"But his face sure rings a bell"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pos-tmodern_man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Got my dad on the phone this morning for Christmas

He lives very far from my place (10 hours flight to get there) and unfortunately, I was not able to visit my parents this year.

Obviously he asked me when I will come and visit them, to which I replied "I'll visit you this year for sure".

By the time I said that I told myself "god what have you done..." only to hear my dad on the phone: "Better hurry up! you only have 5 days left!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daleadae
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Dad-joked by a toilet

For all of my life, my brain has played a soundtrack. At all times, in all places, I hear music going through my head, from the moment I awaken in the morning until I go to sleep at night. I can only shut it off by listening to other music, watching a movie, etc. but it soon starts up again once the outside source of stimulus is removed.

Yesterday I was travelling. When I visited the restroom prior to boarding my flight, the the music in my head suddenly switched tracks from "I've Been Everywhere Man" (that got really old after the first hour. Oy!) to "Africa" by Toto. "That's odd", I thought to myself, "the music in my head usually doesn't switch tracks unless something has changed around me." I finished my business, cleaned up, stood up, and turned around to flush.

Then I saw it. There, emblazoned on the porcelain, was the word "TOTO". The manufacturer of the toilet. "Nice job, brain, funny, hah-hah," I thought to myself.

The song in my head came to an abrupt halt. Silence, for just one moment. Blessed silence. Rare for me. Then I realized. My brain was giving me time to digest the previous joke. Waiting for me to think I'd arrived at the punch line. Pausing for a beat before it delivered the next one. "Africa" started over again, telling me exactly why the DJ deciding songs in my head had picked this exact moment, this exquisite situation, this exact set of circumstances to deliver the internal Dad Joke of the year:

"Doodoo doo-doo doodoo do dooooooooo...."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/txgsync
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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I love my dad's humor

My parents are heading up to NY on vacation together. We have a group text that has my parents, my wife and I, my brother and his fiancee, and my sister. All day, half the family has been traveling for either work of vacation, so there have been a lot of texts about when people have boarded their flights or landed at their layovers of destinations. After 2 hours without any texts, here are the latest two texts we all got:

Mom: We got to NY!

Dad: Glad to hear it!

(remember, they're traveling together. Oy)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattProducer
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2016
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So I just got home from a business trip.

I texted my dad to let him know I landed, My flight was scheduled to take an hour and a half, but it only took an hour. I was flying from Hartford CT into DC.

Me: I landed.

Dad: That was quick!

Me: Yeah, only took an hour!

Dad: Well yeah, you were flying down hill

Me: -__-

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marmo518
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Dad on flying

So I was talking to my dad about a friend that was flying to Brazil for the holiday.

Me: Yea, he has to drive up to Montreal, fly to Miami for 2 hours and then catch a 8 hour flight to Brazil.

Dad: You know, thats a BRAZILian miles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsnotcheese
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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Just dad joked my gf

Back story: she's flying home today after a week of vacation. Has 2 connecting flights ~8 hrs

Her- "I hate travel days, I just want to be home." Me- "but you'll be here soon enough" Her- "not uh, its like 8 hrs" Me- "I'm sure those hours will FLY by..."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamalamaRingDong
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
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I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.

Even the baby was impressed.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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I just sat next to a baby on a 12 hour flight. I had no idea that someone could cry for 12 hours straight.

Even the baby seemed impressed.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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I sat next to baby on a ten hour flight. I had no idea someone could cry for ten hours straight.

Even the baby seemed surprised that I could do it.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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