First class Puns

It was the first known casual tea of war.

At this rate, he will never be there on time.

He always insisted, "put me in coach."

"Don't get the hart before the course!"

She says she'll keep me posted

We needed to discuss the prose and cons.

Son: In your age he was an emperor.

So, our professor was calling out names for attendance:

Professor: "Holly Brown?"

Holly: "Here."

Professor: "Xu Shuo?"

silence

Professor: "I guess we can all say that he's a no-Shuo...."

Facepalms and groans scattered across the room.

First day of the new semester. I'm at my first class, Experimental Statistics. The professor is going over the syllabus and everything then stops for us to do an "exercise."

He tells us to turn to the person next to us and ask them to marry us.

(If you must know, the guy on side me said no. Apparently it was something I said.)

We start to quiet down and wait for the explanation of why 1000 students just asked each other to marriage.

The professor said that it was important for his students to be engaged during class.

"Put me in coach"

First antenatal class and we're going round the group with the other expectant first time parents.

Wife: It'll really hit home when we've got the baby in the car on the way back from the hospital

Me: Don't worry, I'll be driving carefully, I certainly won't crash into our own house.

I'm ready for this baby to arrive

"Hello everyone. You can call me 'sir', you can call me 'teacher', just don't call me late for dinner."

At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.

At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

"Put me in coach."