First and Last Puns

He’s currently in stable condition.

I responded, "Actually they're full size."

I asked the waitress what the deal was, and she said, "It's the Bonaparte."

But I said I Kant.

My body was really sore as well!

Where do sunburned dinosaurs go for help?

The Allosaurus.

He earned a high-five for that one.

Nothing. It’s a tie.

1. great

2. great

3. great

4. great

5. great

6. great

7. great

8. great

9. great

10. great

11. fucking gold

Thanks.

Cuz I don't plan on changing it.

Now everyone knows what to call me by.

It's in tents!

http://i.imgur.com/oN8fib0.jpg

Smiles.

The first and last letters are miles apart.

This was not any ordinary bird however, as he was able to speak and understand English at a perfect level. For quite a while, he didn't use it much to his advantage. He was content simply fluttering around and living peacefully with his bird wife.

But one day, tragedy struck! Our bird one day woke up to an empty nest, no bird kids, no bird wife, just him and some twigs.

He starts asking around his bird community, and eventually pieces together that his bird wife got tired of him and his lack of ambition. She took the bird kids and flew off to stay with her bird Mother.

Our bird was left with an overwhelming sense of listlessness, realizing that everything he had worked towards in his bird life was now gone.

Our bird, now destitute and lonely, decided he was tired of bird life, and wanted to use his English speaking ability to try something new.

He decides to fly into the nearest human town, and observe for a bit. He perched himself on a tree overlooking the main street of the town, and simply watched.

After an hour or two, he noticed several people heading into a building, one labelled as "Bar". He decides that if he wants to truly utilize his prowess of the English language, the best place to start is with other English speakers, so he flies down to the building and hops his way inside.

Our bird makes his way over the bar, hops up on a stool, and says "Hey bartender, can I get a drink?" The bartender and a few other people nearby notice that these words came out of a bird and are immediately and completely enthralled and bewildered by this sight.

The bartender saunters over and asks "Did you just ask for a drink? But you're a bird! I've never seen anything like this before, but if you want a drink I'm happy to oblige".

The bartender pours the bird some water, places it in front of him, and they start chatting. After realizing what was happening, every patron at the bar is standing around the bird, eager to get another peek at this otherworldly phenomenon. People ask the bird some questions, and the bird happily responds, informing them all of his plight and his goal to take full advantage of his gift. More people make their way to him, snapping pictures and videos to share with their friends. The bird loves all the attention and is more than happy to indulge each and every customer who comes up to him.

After a few hours, closing time rolls around. Most people make their way out of the bar, ecstatic to share their newfound memories with family an

"What's this?" he asks. "The Matador Special, Senor," the waiter replies. "What meat is it?" the man asks. "Cojones," the waiter explains, "They are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted. But he is the adventurous sort, so he decides to give it a try. To his surprise, he finds the meat delicious. In fact, it is so good that the next day he goes to the same restaurant again, and once again orders the specialty of the day. Again he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate, and this time it tastes even more scrumptious.

The third day he does the same, and the fourth. But on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, but this time they bring him two much smaller round meaty objects.

"What's this?" he asks the waiter. "The Matador Special, senor," the waiter replies. "No, no," the man objects, "I had the Matador Special the last few days, and it was much bigger than this."

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not always lose."

When my wife went to the Hospital for our first son, we had a scheduled C-Section. They took her to the OR and had me gown up so I could be there with her.

The doctor came in and said to me "It's time! Ready to deliver this baby?"

I replied with a look of shock and said "We discussed this last night and decided we'd like the baby to keep his liver..."

4 years old now this week and I couldn't ask for a better kid.

Seriously... I asked and the wife said never to bring it up again.

(Please read part one first)

News of Quasimodo's death reached his village, and his brother Demimodo journeyed to Paris to pay his respects to his brother.

After visiting the grave, he went to the cathedral to express his gratitude to the Archbishop and his staff for looking after his brother in life and in death.

In conversation, the Archbishop learned that despite having the same gnarled hands as his brother, Demimodo also was an experienced bell ringer, having performed this service at his village church, using the same technique.

Demimodo was hired to replace his brother and started to ring the bells morning, noon and night. Some said he rang them better than his brother.

Come Easter time, and Demimodo decided to offer a grand symphony before the bells went quiet on Maundy Thursday.

On the Wednesday night, Demimodo went into orchestral mode and played superbly. As his brother did, he too wanted to end on a crescendo, and like his brother, he too took a flying leap at the last bell.

And missed.

Once again, the public were asked by the gendarmes if anyone knew who this poor soul was. The same person who spoke of Quasimodo replied, "I don't know his name, but he was a dead ringer for his brother."

The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?

The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I'll show you."

So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.

He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.

When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.

The monk simply said, "No. His face doesn't ring a bell either."

But wait, there's more...

The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk "Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it's ok with you, I'd like to try just once for him."

The monk certainly couldn't refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.

Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother's face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.

The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.

The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.

Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man's name to which the monk replied, "no, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

I'll show myself out.

Good night

Two scientists are studying how far frogs can jump. Their first step was to teach a frog to jump on command. This completed, they yelled jump, and the frog jumped 8 meters. Considering what effect each leg had, they then amputated one leg and yelled jump again. The frog jumped 6 meters. After noting this, they amputated a second leg. After yelling jump, the frog jumps 4 meters. This was such an interesting result that they went on to amputate a third leg. This time, the frog was only able to leap 2 meters. Feeling a breakthrough was coming, they amputated the last leg. Despite yelling jump repeatedly, the frog wouldn't move. Their conclusions were that amputation of more than 3 legs causes deafness in frogs.

I sometimes go to the “Idiot of the Year” event in our prairie town, where each year hundreds of people from the town and nearby villages gather in the community hall for jokes and a guessing game. It starts with various people coming on stage to tell bad jokes, and finishes with the guessing game, which involves the master of ceremonies pulling a blanket off a mystery object on stage. The first person to name the object gets the “Idiot of the Year” trophy, which is an old shoe nailed to a block of wood. Three years ago, the object was an old bicycle, and Melvin Sneeter, who works in the local hardware store, was the first to yell out “bicycle”. Two years ago, Cynthia Frizzle, a housewife from the nearby town of Spuzzum, was correct with “tricycle”. And last year, the object was a bit more difficult, so the trophy wasn't awarded, because nobody knew the name of that one-wheeled contraption that you must balance and pedal.

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

Jesus is walking in Jerusalem when he sees Benjamin Goldstein, the robemaker.

“Excuse me, Ben? I have been told that you are the man to see when you want to have robes that will last walking for miles and being touched by hundreds at a time”

Goldstein ponders for a minute, then an idea comes to him. He makes Jesus the most beautiful robes ever made, all colors and the softest but most durable material Jesus had ever seen. Jesus was grateful and wandered off to give sermons.

About a year goes by, and Jesus finds his way back to Goldstein. “Pardon me, Ben? The robes you made me were magnificent, but as all good things do, these are now well worn. Can you make me another?”

Goldstein takes a moment to plan out his masterpiece, then proceeds to make a second robe that put the first robe to shame. It almost glowed in the sunlight. While delivering it, he told Jesus, “you know, since I made your last robes, I have seen more customers come through my doors than I could ever have hoped for, and I’m sure I’ll get even more from these ones! Hey, Jesus! We should start a company!”

Jesus inquired “what should we call it?”

Goldstein shrugs and suggests, “how about Jesus and Goldstein’s robes?”

Jesus looks back and says, “let’s call it Lord and Tailor”

John and Susie a decide to go to prom together. Of course John has to buy tickets, and he waited till the last minute and so did a bunch of other guys, so John has to wait in the ticket line for almost an hour. About a week later, it's time to get John a tuxedo and Susie a dress, and they again waited til the last minute so the shops were full. John waits in the tuxedo line for almost 2 hours. Susie had it even worse, the dress line took her almost three hours. Then, the day before prom, John has to get flowers and so does every other guy going to prom and John waits in the flower line for another hour. The big day finally comes, and everybody else got to prom early so John and Susie end up in the entrance line for the first hour of prom. At this point they finally get to dance for a while and Susie tells John she's getting thirsty, so John goes to get them some punch. You'll never believe this, but there is no punchline.

Edit: had to correct my autocorrect

first im not sure where to post this story but this is true and ive been cracking up ever since my daughter told me that happened.

So my daughter is 23 now. When she was 18 & im dropping her off at college, i told her that "anytime a guy approachs you and youre not in the mood to be hit on just tell the guy you have herpes or whatever and hopefully he'll stop & go away, if he doesnt...then, well ya know...you leave as safely as u can." i thought it was harmless kinda funny advice. So last night, when she's picking up her dog (cause i said id puppysit while she went to the football game), I said something to the effect of the dog needing a slow feed bowl and she rolled her eyes and told me shes not taking advice from me after the "herpe talk". i said "what? what herpe talk?" and she reminded me of that advice i offered when she was an 18 year old college freshmen and then told me thats why she doesnt have a bf. i chuckled and started asking, "have u ever said that? what happened? how many times have you told a guy that?" she continued to tell me that she went to a few frat/soriety get togethers with her girlfriends and maybe used that line 6-7 times. i lost it laughing and said "you know those 6-7 guys told at least 3-4 people each and so on." she goes "No shit Dad. because of you i cant find a date cause everyone thinks i have herpes." anyways, i thought this was too funny to not share, plus it worked cause i get to puppysit versus grandbabysit.

First one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Every time he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over and won't be done until it's spread all over the paddock. The vet nods and goes over to the next one. Second one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Everytime he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over, then take it in his mouth and spit it around and he won't be done until it's spread all over his paddock. The vet nods and goes over to the next one. Third one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Everytime he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over, take it in his mouth and spit it around, then roll around in it and he won't be done until it's spread all over his paddock. The vet nods and goes over to the next one. Fourth one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Everytime he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over, take it in his mouth and spit it around, roll around in it, then dig a bit into the soil with his left forehoof, push a bit of it into the hole and he won't be done until it's spread all over his paddock. The vet nods and goes over to the next one. Fifth one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Everytime he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over, take it in his mouth and spit it around, roll around in it, dig a bit into the soil with his left forehoof, push a bit of it into the hole, then dig a bit into the soil with his right forehoof, push a bit of it into the hole and he won't be done until it's spread all over his paddock. The vet nods and goes over to the next one. Sixth one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Everytime he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over, take it in his mouth and spit it around, roll around in it, dig a bit into the soil with his left forehoof, push a bit of it into the hole, dig a bit into the soil with his right forehoof, push a bit of it into the hole, then dig a bit into the soil with his left hindhoof, push a bit of it into the hole and he won't be done until it's spread all over his paddock. The vet nods and goes over to the next one. Seventh one says, Doc, I don't know what to do about my horse. Everytime he's shitting he'll stomp around in it, kick it all over, take it in his mouth and spit it around, roll around in it, dig a bit into the soil with his left forehoof, push a bit of it into the hole, dig a bit into the soil with his right fore

there’s three main candidates in the running. first is joe biden, looking to keep the presidency; second is donald trump, looking to take back the presidency, and lastly is obama, wearing a sombrero and a mustache, going by the name… juan-bama. as the election results are tallied in, it’s apparent that it’s a perfect three-way tie in both the popular vote and the electoral college. the nation is in uproar, nobody can reach a decision as to how to choose the next president. but at last a solution comes forward: a literal presidential race. whoever can run the fastest lap around the white house—timed by a secret service member—will be sworn into office.

first up is donald trump. he boldly states “this will no doubt be the fastest lap around the white house, perhaps even the fastest lap run anywhere, ever,” but, not being in the best shape, he takes 18 minutes and 34 seconds.

next is joe biden. he doesn’t waste any breath for trash talk or boasting, he just readies himself at the starting line and—at the count—takes off. he’s running fast, really fast for someone of his age… at least for the first 5 minutes. but he forgets where he’s going, and finishes his lap as a leisurely walk around the grounds, taking 26 minutes and 49 seconds.

lastly is juanbama, who runs like hell around the white house. he’s running fast, faster than he’d ever run before. he completes his lap, collapsing across the finish line, and looks up desperately at the secret service member. “what was it?” he asks. “what was my time?”

the agent looks down at their stopwatch. “twelve oh-three.”

juanbama looks at them in disbelief. “well,” he sputters, “that’s got to be some sort of record!”

the secret service member shakes their head. “no, actually. bush did nine eleven.”

• "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
• "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
• "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
• "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
• "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
• "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
• "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
• "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
• "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
• "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
• "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
• "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
• "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
• "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
• "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
• "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
• "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
• "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
• "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
• "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
• "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
• "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
• "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
• "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
• "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
• "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
• "This is a frozen dessert,” I screamed.
• "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
• "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
• "Two plus five is seven,” Tom added.
• "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
• "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
• "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
• "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
• "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
• "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
• "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
• "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
• "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
• "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
• "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
• "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
• "I hate pale ale," sai

She says - God bless mommy and god bless daddy and god bless grandma and... goodbye grandpa. He asks her - why did you say that? I don't know, I just felt like saying it. The next day, grandpa drops dead. Wow, thinks dad, that's an odd coincidence. A month later at bedtime, the daughter says - God bless mommy and daddy. And goodbye grandma. Sure enough, the next day grandma breathes her last earthly breath. The dad realizes this is more than a coincidence, but he is not sure what to do. He doesn't want to disturb his wife by telling her (Grandma and grandpa were her parents). Months go by and one night the man is listening to his daughter saying her prayers at bedtime - God bless mommy....she turns her head and looks straight at him - and goodbye daddy. What!? are you sure honey? She nods. The man's heart begins racing and he breaks out in a sweat. He is so upset, he can't sleep at all that night. The next day he goes off to work, but locks himself in his office. He takes the phone off the hook, cancels all his meetings and awaits the inevitable. He stays at work past 5 because he feels secure there. He watches the hours tick by. Finally it is midnight and, drenched in sweat, he realizes he has cheated death. He drives home drenched in sweat and with all his nerves frazzled. His wife is up and waiting for him - Where the hell were you today??! He replies - Don't shout, I've had an absolutely miserable day. His wife then says - You had a miserable day? I'm the one who had a miserable day! First, the milkman drops dead on the steps...

The first horse says "the strangest thing happened to me the other day. I was trailing in a race and it looked like I had no chance to win. All of a sudden I felt this warm, wonderful feeling between my legs and I burst forward and caught the other horses at the wire to win the race."

The second horse says "that's unreal. I was trailing in a race last week and it looked like I had no chance to win. All of a sudden I felt this warm, wonderful feeling between my legs and it gave me a second wind and I raced past all the other horses and won by 3 lengths."

Upon hearing this a greyhound says "that is unbelievable. I was trailing in a race, chasing the rabbit and it looked like I had no chance to win. But all of a sudden I felt this warm, wonderful feeling between my legs and I burst forward and passed the other greyhounds and won the race."

The 2 horses looked at the greyhound with amazement, then at each other, and one horse said to the other "I wouldn't have believed it in a million years, a talking dog!"

When I was a kid, my favourite thing ever was tractors. It was my first word, my first toy, I had posters of them on my bedroom walls and I loved to draw them too. Unfortunately with age I don’t quite have the same amount of passion nowadays. This all became relevant recently as there was this house fire on my street last week. My instincts told me to enter the house to save the family inside as the Fire Service hadn’t arrived yet. I was able to break down a door and actually clear all of the smoke from the house saving everyone inside. I escorted them out to be greeted by the Fireman who had just arrived. Puzzled, they asked how on earth I was able to clear all the smoke. I simply replied “I’m an extractor fan”.

First one was positive for covid, the second one had laryngitis, next one a smoker’s cough and the last one had a sore throat…

I think they were the Four hoarse men of the apocalypse.

The bastard kept demanding first and last month's rent and I kept telling him I wasn't here last month

So I was on a first date last night with this girl I met on tinder. It was going great. We got to talking about our jobs and she said she’s a software developer. I was reaching over to grab the salt and ended up getting my hand in the pot of garlic Mayo. I then said to her “damn! I didn’t realise that was open sauce”.

I once knew a man from Greece. Every day he had breakfast in my father's café. And every day he signed the bill: "σε μένα". Whenever we asked what it meant he just shook his head, laughed, and walked out.

After a few years we became good friends, and he invited me to his birthday meal at a fancy restaurant downtown. He wrote down the address and signed it again, "σε μένα", once again laughing on his way out. When I got there I met his family, including his daughter Helen. When it came time to pay the bill he signed it, as usual, "σε μένα"; as he did Helen looked down at his hands, and she let out a groan. I asked her what the problem was but she just shook her head and walked out. The next day the man told me his daughter had taken quite the fancy to me, and he wrote down her phone number. Once again he signed it, "σε μένα", laughing as he handed it to me.

Helen and I began dating and eventually married. And since he paid for the wedding her father saw to it that his motto was everywhere. It was written on the invitations, balloons, napkins, bunting, you name it. Even the cake had the words inscribed on its side, "σε μένα". I had never seen him so happy as he was on that day.

As a wedding present he left us the family home, and handed us the keys to it with a smile on his face as usual. Sure enough those two words were all over, "σε μένα": fridge magnets, post-it notes, plates, bowls, knives, forks, the front gate, the doormat, the postbox, the bird-bath, even the license plate on his old car. When Helen and I had our first son, he gifted us baby clothes with "σε μένα" written on them, still shaking his head and laughing.

On his deathbed, my father-in-law took my hand and thanked me for all I had done for him and his family. Framed on the wall next to him I saw it written again, "σε μένα".

And one last time I asked him what it meant.

And one last time, the man smiled, shrugged, and with his final breath he laughed and said,

"It's Greek to me."

>!Smiles 😁 (The first and last letters are a mile apart.)!<

The first and last letters are a mile apart

Last week i went to the doctor. Got diagnosed with a few things. First thing, im going deaf, that was hard to hear. And then he announced im going mute, left me speechless. After all of that, it really got to me mentally and i went to the therapist. The therapist said i had trouble expressing my emotions, cant say im surprised

A little context: Occasionally when I start to frustrate my wife, especially through text, she calls me by my first name and sometimes I double down on being annoying

A fellow student in my lecture class the other day brought in Christmas gift baggies for everyone! I sent a picture to the wife and she asked who it was. I’m bad with names, especially since this was my only class with this woman, so I said I didn’t know.

A few minutes later I asked a different student what her name was, and it was Breanna. So, I told my wife her name, and she asked what her last name was! I said that I didn’t think anyone knew that.

Frustrated at my answer she says, “Qsdl”

I respond, “No that’s my name”

This was Wednesday, so I don’t think she’s going to murder me, but she may just be plotting and biding her time

Smiles. The first and the last letter are a mile apart.

The first and last letters are mile apart...

When I was a kid, my favourite thing ever was tractors. It was my first word, my first toy, I had posters of them on my bedroom walls and I loved to draw them too. Unfortunately with age I don’t quite have the same amount of passion nowadays. This all became relevant recently as there was this house fire on my street last week. My instincts told me to enter the house to save the family inside as the Fire Service hadn’t arrived yet. I was able to break down a door and actually clear all of the smoke from the house saving everyone inside. I escorted them out to be greeted by the Fireman who had just arrived. Puzzled, they asked how on earth I was able to clear all the smoke. I simply replied “I’m an extractor fan”.

Buurk enstocks

Sorry, just came up with that and had to share. This is my first post here but not the last.