I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
While I do not believe the grass is always greener on the other side, it has been increasingly obvious over the past few years that our current provincial government does not give a shit about anyone except for their own. Whether it be with shortsighted cuts to services that directly benefit the socioeconomically disadvantaged (despite many of these programs rooted in evidence of saving money in the long term), selling everything that is not bolted down to the floor despite it providing an essential service ^(coughHYDROcough,) or by continually expecting us to do the impossible with zero supplies or support, I am just done.
I am unable to do my job effectively and, at this point, nothing I can do will make the situation better for the people that depend on me through my work. I am done yelling into the void that is the lack of leadership and accountability from those who control the provincial purse strings, it is time for me to pack my shitty little bags and jump ship. If you had asked me a year ago if I planned to leave this province, you most likely would have been met with a resounding "aww hellllll no."
Quite a few of my coworkers are either looking for an exit or are already on their way out. Many of them are discovering just how marketable their education and experience is as is evident by the numerous offers of employment with better pay and, gasp, opportunities elsewhere from all over Canada and beyond. These are not just the same positions that would result in a lateral career move, they are definitive career advancements that are sought after here in Winnipeg and only open upon the retirement or death of someone.
This may seem hypocritical coming from someone who has one foot out the door, but I worry about the future of this province. This may be based on my own anecdotal evidence, but I fear it most likely is rooted in truth for many others. Are we on the cusp of another Filmon-like brain drain? For the sake of the future for this place I used to proudly call home, I hope not.
(edited for formatting because i am of the dumb)
The doctor says it terminal.
Mentos
(I will see myself out)
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
I came across a post on twitter discussing the Board composition of the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority. I would have hoped for more independence, but lot's of life long PC's. Even Heather Stefanson's sister-in-law. Maybe this was well know, but it's eye opening for me. Thought it was worth sharing and spreading awareness on. These are the individuals who are responsible for providing oversight and setting strategy for the WRHA.
I also note that no Board Members have acknowledged a conflict of interest. This can be seen in the public minutes of past Board Meetings where the Covid response was discussed (with minimal minutes taken). Talk about bad governance.
https://wrha.mb.ca/files/board-minutes-2021-10-26.pdf
https://wrha.mb.ca/about/board/members/
Some highlights of the Board Members are:
Lauren Stone - a lobbyist with Global Public Affairs who previously served as a policy analyst for Pallister during his time in opposition.
Shannon Stefanson - sister-in-law of Premier Heather Stefanson and her husband Grant is the president of Pallister’s Fort Whyte riding association.
Bill Baines - a local businessman with long ties to the PCs. Baines served as COO of the Manitoba Telephone System when Gary Filmon’s PC government privatized the Crown Corporation in 1996. At the time, critics accused Baines of being a “flunky for the government” and pushing the “party line” on privatization.
Dawn Daudrich - an owner of an eco-tourism company and her name is listed as having donated $18,308 to the PC party. The name of Daudrich’s husband, Walter, is also listed donating $19,268 to the PCs. Between 2018 and 2019, six members of Daudrich’s family are listed donating a combined $50,980 to Pallister’s party. Daudrich served as the agent for Flin Flon PC candidate Theresa Wride in 2019.
Jennifer Moncrieff - a former director of sales with the Investors Group whose name is listed as having donated $267.50. Her father is the CEO of Great-West Life and his name is also listed donating several thousand dollars to the PCs.
Source: [https://pressprogress.ca/one-third-of-all-appointees-to-mani
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
But let me give it a shot.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
He’s the new temp.
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
