February 12 Puns

12 second

Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.

Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.

A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.

"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

Driver: "So Resetspls, if I ask you how many seconds are in a year, with out your phone or any calculator, could you tell me

"Honestly no."

Driver: "12"

"Uhhhh...."

Driver: "Can I do the math"

"Of course, please"

Driver: " January 2nd, February 2nd...."

1.    Why do prisoners hate computers?
   

The escape key never works.

2.   How do trees get on the internet? 
   

They log in.

3.  Knock knock.
   

Who's there? Toucan. Toucan who? Toucan play at that game

4. How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs.

5. Why was the empty Olympic stadium so hot? All the fans had left.

6. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.

7. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.

8. Can February March? No but April may.

9. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

10.why are recycling bins so optimistic? Cuz they're full of cans.

[Insert minion meme]

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

This happened last February while my mom was about to prepare some lunch.

Mom: This hummus is dated 2-03-13 but I guess it's okay...

Dad: Well your face is dated 2-12-1964 but you don't see us complaining.

12...

January 2nd, February 2nd...

told to me by a weatherman, I think it counts, he's a dad.

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

12

January 2nd, February 2nd and so on..

How many seconds in the year?

12. The 2nd of January, the 2nd of February, the 2nd of March...

12!

January second, February second, March second...