Father and Son Puns

Dad - "this is only an A and B conversation, you can C you way out of here!"

Son: how do I catch a fish?

Dad: Easy, just throw this clickbait into the water.

Son: Got it, what’s next?

Dad: What happens next will shock you.

3-deify

He was a little moron

They start to admire the holiday homes that are near the beach

"How heavy do you think this house is?" His son suddenly asks, pointing at one of them.

"I don't think it'll be that heavy," the dad replied, "since it's a lighthouse."

The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"

"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.

"Do you have a brother?"

"No."

After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.

Father: "For 18 years i've watched you grow up to be a great young adult, you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm so proud of Yew."

...when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him that they were stored in my dadabase.…

The dad splits up from the boys in the morning, leaving them the task of getting food for the day.

The boys chance upon a patch full of peas - they have enough for all three meals and to pelt each other with.

Reuniting at the end of the day, the dad asks how it went.

“We played with each other’s peas!” The little one chimes in.

Just a little displeased, dad asks him sternly to clarify.

“We gathered peas, he meant.” Added the middle boy.

“Okay, and what did you have for breakfast?”

“Pea soup.”

“Lunch?”

“Pea soup.”

The boys started sniggering.

“What’s so funny? And what about dinner?”

“Nothing dad. We had pea soup too.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem like much. What did you do all evening?”

Bursting out laughing, they all said:

“Pee soup.”

Look son, a train has gone by here recently. Son,How can you possibly know that dad? Dad... Look there...you can see it's tracks.

“Stop interrupting! It’s not your story, it’s ‘history.’”

Edit: not sure how to express the pun of the word ‘history’ so to clarify, it’s a play on ‘his story.’

The father is showing his son how to prepare the fishing rod, how to set the line, and how to affix the bait. Father: "Now son, you can use many different kinds of bait. This worm, for example." The father says as he weaves the worm onto the hook and casts the line. Son: "What happens next dad?" As if on cue, the father pulls against the line, calling forth a panicked fish from the water. The son exclaims in amazement, as the father prepares the line for his next cast. He reaches into the tackle box, and beings to attach something to the hook. Son: "Dad, what kind of bait is that?" Father: "This is clickbait son." Son: "What happens next dad?" Father: "What happens next will shock you."

You cantaloupe

When out of nowhere the father hands the son a burger. The father says “It’s a Bison burger!” And never returned

"We'll it's about time!"

The father asks him if it's barely noticeable or if it's unbearable. The son tells him it's not unbearable, but it's definitely noticeable. The father tells him, "It's probably not tinnitus. Sounds more like fiveitus."

Son asked to father: Why was the math book sad? Father replied: Because it had too many problems.

8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"

I'm very proud.

God always walked in the house with his shoes on and constantly berated Jesus for the floors being dirty. “But Dad!” Jesus objected. “But nothing son. Cleanliness is next to godliness." Jesus swept.

Son: (says word that sounds an awful lot like f*ck, but it's garbled so it's hard to understand)

Me: What did you just say?

Son: (repeats garbled word)

Me: Where did you hear that word?

Son: My mouth! points to mouth

Son: Don't you wish you could do that? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me.

On my way into a restaurant I took my hat off and put in my jacket pocket. On my way out it was still in my pocket.

Me:Dad. Before you ask, I still have my hat. I didn't forget t

Dad:Hey ollien

Me:Yeah?

Dad:Do you have your hat?

Me:I just told you I had my hat.

Dad:Well you said before you ask!

Oh you...

He said: I would like to celebrate my birthday this February, but unfortunately I can't.

Because I was born in January!