Mom interferes with father and sons coversation

Dad - "this is only an A and B conversation, you can C you way out of here!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MicasiO
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A son and his father go fishing together for the first time.

Son: how do I catch a fish?

Dad: Easy, just throw this clickbait into the water.

Son: Got it, what’s next?

Dad: What happens next will shock you.

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy9kills
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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What do you call it when you take a drawing of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost and turn it into a sculpture?

3-deify

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/99-bottlesofbeer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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A father and his son are on a roof, the father falls off but the kid stays on, why?

He was a little moron

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/butcher106
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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A father and his son are by the beach

They start to admire the holiday homes that are near the beach

"How heavy do you think this house is?" His son suddenly asks, pointing at one of them.

"I don't think it'll be that heavy," the dad replied, "since it's a lighthouse."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiyneeee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time...

The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"

"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.

"Do you have a brother?"

"No."

After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Son, it is time you hear the truth. Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny are not real. Mum and I bring you the gifts.

Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acbro3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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A father and son are walking through their garden and stops in front of a tree

Father: "For 18 years i've watched you grow up to be a great young adult, you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm so proud of Yew."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Son: β€œDad, are you alright?” Dad: β€œNo, I’m half left and half right.” Happy Father's day!
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gauravvaria93
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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My son just became a father for the first time today and in passing on the paternal torch...

...when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him that they were stored in my dadabase.…

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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A father, wanting to instil some manliness and maturity in his sons, brings them camping. The only food they get to eat is the food they get from the forest.

The dad splits up from the boys in the morning, leaving them the task of getting food for the day.

The boys chance upon a patch full of peas - they have enough for all three meals and to pelt each other with.

Reuniting at the end of the day, the dad asks how it went.

β€œWe played with each other’s peas!” The little one chimes in.

Just a little displeased, dad asks him sternly to clarify.

β€œWe gathered peas, he meant.” Added the middle boy.

β€œOkay, and what did you have for breakfast?”

β€œPea soup.”

β€œLunch?”

β€œPea soup.”

The boys started sniggering.

β€œWhat’s so funny? And what about dinner?”

β€œNothing dad. We had pea soup too.”

β€œWell, that doesn’t seem like much. What did you do all evening?”

Bursting out laughing, they all said:

β€œPee soup.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Father and son are driving in car when they pass over a set of railroad tracks.

Look son, a train has gone by here recently. Son,How can you possibly know that dad? Dad... Look there...you can see it's tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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A son is telling his dad a story that he had learned in history class. The father’s other child constantly interrupted his sibling’s story. The dad had enough and told his interrupting child,

β€œStop interrupting! It’s not your story, it’s β€˜history.’”

Edit: not sure how to express the pun of the word β€˜history’ so to clarify, it’s a play on β€˜his story.’

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakebake800
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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[long pun, bear with it] A father and son are going fishing...

The father is showing his son how to prepare the fishing rod, how to set the line, and how to affix the bait. Father: "Now son, you can use many different kinds of bait. This worm, for example." The father says as he weaves the worm onto the hook and casts the line. Son: "What happens next dad?" As if on cue, the father pulls against the line, calling forth a panicked fish from the water. The son exclaims in amazement, as the father prepares the line for his next cast. He reaches into the tackle box, and beings to attach something to the hook. Son: "Dad, what kind of bait is that?" Father: "This is clickbait son." Son: "What happens next dad?" Father: "What happens next will shock you."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/appa-ate-momo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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What did the father melon say to his son melon when he found out he was going to run away and get married

You cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2016
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A father and a son are having a barbecue

When out of nowhere the father hands the son a burger. The father says β€œIt’s a Bison burger!” And never returned

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ANTI-BURN
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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A son walks up to his father and says "I finally watched that Documentary on that Swedish clock maker."

"We'll it's about time!"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/permeable_boat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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A son walks up to his father and tells him his ears are ringing and that he might have tinnitus.

The father asks him if it's barely noticeable or if it's unbearable. The son tells him it's not unbearable, but it's definitely noticeable. The father tells him, "It's probably not tinnitus. Sounds more like fiveitus."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/erroneousEmu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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Conversation between father and son on book

Son asked to father: Why was the math book sad? Father replied: Because it had too many problems.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arunnegi00111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
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Asked my dad to take a picture of my friend and I at our father/daughter, mother/son dance.. This is what I get back, he's hilarious. imgur.com/z65ySyg
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foxtrotter15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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I'm a father of 5 and an avid cyclist. My 8 year old son came to me with this one yesterday.

8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"

I'm very proud.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eccentricfather
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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God and JC's father-son relationship.

God always walked in the house with his shoes on and constantly berated Jesus for the floors being dirty. β€œBut Dad!” Jesus objected. β€œBut nothing son. Cleanliness is next to godliness." Jesus swept.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokadocta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2016
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My 2 and a half year old son Dad Joked me!!! His own Father!

Son: (says word that sounds an awful lot like f*ck, but it's garbled so it's hard to understand)

Me: What did you just say?

Son: (repeats garbled word)

Me: Where did you hear that word?

Son: My mouth! points to mouth

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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A father and his son are watching their dog clean his balls...

Son: Don't you wish you could do that? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApocalypticCat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
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A father and his son walk out of restaurant.

On my way into a restaurant I took my hat off and put in my jacket pocket. On my way out it was still in my pocket.

Me:Dad. Before you ask, I still have my hat. I didn't forget t

Dad:Hey ollien

Me:Yeah?

Dad:Do you have your hat?

Me:I just told you I had my hat.

Dad:Well you said before you ask!

Oh you...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ollien
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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My friend just got a son, and already knows how to be a father

He said: I would like to celebrate my birthday this February, but unfortunately I can't.

Because I was born in January!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Omegaile
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
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