Ok acupuncture skeptics. You can say it’s fake. You can say it’s just a placebo. You can say it’s a scam. BUT...

You can’t say it’s pointless

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Fake it till you make it
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubfurSir
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad-joke pun...and it’s amazing
πŸ‘︎ 536
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreekAlphabetSoup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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If you think about it, we all put fake excrement in our hair

Sham-poo

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Awhile ago my roomate moved out, i was cleaning his old room when I stumbled upon a fake mustache in a box under his bed, when i asked him about it he replied:

β€œYou finally found it, my secret stache”

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacaboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/figgerer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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A guy tried to sell me a fake Picasso, but I didn’t buy it.

I used my artistic lie-sense.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idkwhatevsqwert
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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My job is telling genuine trees apart from fake trees. I was so worried I'd be bad at it but as it happens I'm quite good.

That's a real leaf.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad joke...and it’s truly amazing

https://i.imgur.com/O6ePcMG.jpg

I can’t imagine what that guy is doing now...what left is there to do in life after reaching the pinnacle of dad jokes.

An inspiration to us all.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreekAlphabetSoup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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I found it a good fake text
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BFsamuraiOfDoom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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My friend bought a really expensive tie online, but there is a good chance it’s fake.

I think his ascot ripped off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?

The Pretenders.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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What do you say when you're floor shopping and buy fake bamboo thinking it's real?

Crap! I've been bamboozled

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CopperLink
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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If I washed my hair with fake shit, would it still be considered sham poo?
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sycsa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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What do you call it when a palm tree fakes it's death?

Insurance frond

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisfch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.

Turns out he was full of shit.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fightswithbears
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Aah the outdoors.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trooper_97
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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My mates were thinking of alternative names for shampoo.

It was fake shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CubingWithAlex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:

"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"

...the very, very first faux toe ;)

Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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What do you call the border of Finland ?

The Finnish line πŸƒ

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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A man needs to hire someone to fix his broken fence.

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.

Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.

About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.

The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked.

The monk replied "religious reasons."

The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, but why do you need to repair fences?"

"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."

πŸ‘︎ 924
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJFates
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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I heard Congress was overrun with tiny lizards last week.

Turned out it was Fake Newts.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoozin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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So my cousin posted on Facebook today #IVotedForGary

My dad Gary responded:

"Thanks man, but I wasn't even running. I was walking."

Edit: Woah, this blew up more than I expected. Thanks, guys. I'll make sure to thank my dad for the fake internet points for a joke that made me groan. He's gonna love it.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HypnoticPeaches
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"

Nothing

Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"

Doesn't crack a smile

Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"

Clown starts to get nervous

Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"

Blank look

Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"

Yawn

Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"

Annoyed

Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"

grasping at straws

Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"

He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"

Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Trump tried to kill himself and failed

it was a fake noose

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markov420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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A guy walks up to the convenience store counter and tries to buy a six pack with a fake $20 bill.

The elderly woman clerk quickly realized it was fake and became enraged!! She started screaming, grabbed his hair and slammed his head on the counter until he was out cold.

She was SO upset she had a counter fit.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
After seeing a palm reader, I gave him my money.

He held the note up to the light and frowned. "This is fake," he said.

I said, "Now you know what it feels like."

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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My son collects baseball memorabilia, so I got him a vintage Yogi Berra glove for his birthday.

He thought it was fake, but I assured him it's legit a mitt.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyID
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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I need help writing airplane puns for a message on a dating site.

So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.

Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richrawl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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Why is it ok to wash your hair with fake poop?

Because it's just a sham poo

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that cows can give you the coronavirus?

It's fake moos

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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My son is mad at his alarm clock,

He’s been calling it β€œFake snooze” 😴

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamWize-Ganji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Just saw the new Lion King and thought the Wildebeests were pretty unrealistic.

You can tell it was fake gnus.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwarvenfriend
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A man's fence is broken and he needs to hire someone to fix it.

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.

Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.

About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.

The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked

the monk replied "Religious reasons."

The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"

"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AaronKClark
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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a few jokes that will make u laugh

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I’ve always been embarrassed of my dad around the holidays.

Like, last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree, and the guy behind the counter said, β€œAre you going to put it up yourself?” My dad replied, β€œDon’t be disgusting. I’m going to put it in the living room.”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeoulgiKorea
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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A man's fence is broken and he needs to hire someone to fix it

So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.

Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.

About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.

The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked

the monk replied "Religious reasons."

The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"

"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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Did you hear donald trump tried to hang himself?

It didn't work though, he used fake noose.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vortexdude90
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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