I could be wrong, but I don't know how's it possible for everyone within a single Tradition to hold the same paradigm. What if you simultaneously believe in cyclical universe (Euthanatoi), adhere to the philosophy of Hermes Trismegistos (Order of Hermes) and believe that LSD can connect me to the outer gods (Cult of Ecstasy)? I ask because I am a very eclectic person who believes in gathering wisdom and knowledge from multiple sources, so everyone having the same worldview (nuance not counted) within a Tradition seems restrictive to me.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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1. Dhir

“That everything?” Dhir called out, looking around the docks.

“Yeah!” a voice returned “Everything’s here, fully fueled and ready to go.”

Dhir nodded before pulling himself through the docking tube, and into the transport.

One of the unfortunate downsides of first contact was that he had to play diplomat.

Most of the time, that involved sending messages, or letting their respective diplomatic teams do the talking.

Not this time.

This time, he was invited to a diplomatic conference on the Pusat, hence why he was cramming himself into the transport vessel; rendezvousing with the Bhramanakani would have used more fuel than strictly necessary.

As he pulled himself into the transport, he could see Xing and Sarjana strapping into their crash couches. Sanem was already going through their pre-flight checklist.

Alami had elected to stay on the Bhramanakani; she had work to do.

Dhir went to strap his bag down before joining his friends.

“Good to go?” He asked.

“Yup,” Sanem replied distractedly “Soon as seal checks are done, we’re off...”

Dhir nodded, absentmindedly drumming his fingers before he turned to Sarjana “Oh, did you manage to have a look at RCS block 243?”

Sarjana nodded an affirmative “Done and dusted, just a glitch in one of the valve controls...”

Dhir nodded at that.

He had meant to look at the problem for a while, but hadn’t yet found the time.

One less thing he had to worry about.

Dhir floated against his restraints for a moment, before a mechanical thunk indicated they had separated from the Bhramanakani, Sanem taking them out on delicate puffs from their RCS thrusters.

It took them ten minutes before Sanem activated the main reactor; space traffic control had long since figured that operating spacecraft that spewed superheated plasma near other spacecraft was a bad idea. Hence why Sanem floated them a few kilometers away from the Bhramanakani before activating their torch drive.

Dhir let himself feel the reactor’s deep subsonic rumble as it started up, their acceleration burn gently pushing him back into his crash couch.

Not a heavy acceleration, but noticeable.

A few minutes later, their engine cut out.

“We are now at cruising velocity, feel free to ge

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

I. Introduction

After some six years, I've finally gotten this language into a state that I like. It used to be a typical baby's first Romlang, but through some deft combination of my hatred of paradigm tables and actually learning how languages work, it's become something that I hope is both realistic and… somewhat odd.

The Velmarin Popular Latin Standard (Velmarina Nimmina Latina Veusyungoa; 静海人民朱文標準語) is an a posteriori language that is predominately Latinate (though not Romance) in its phonology and vocabulary, but with many Sinoxenic loanwords and a strong Sinitic (and East and Southeast Asian in general) influence on its verbs, adjectives, and syntax.

In universe, it's spoken as a first language by about 60~65% of the population (about three million people) of the Velmarin Empire (Sua Maesta Re Publica Aousta Velmarina; 静海張皇公務之威嚴), an archipelagic city-state about two days' sail south of Hong Kong. Latin speakers, predominately from liminal areas along the Danube and Rhine, first arrived in the archipelago via the Indian Ocean during a short window between the early Severan dynasty and the early Third Century Crisis (ca. 190–240 ᴄᴇ), and have been isolated from linguistic developments in broader Romance ever since.

II. Phonology

The Popular Latin Standard is phonologically conservative, retaining velars before front vowels and /w/ and /j/ as approximants (often [β˕] and [ʝ˕]), except around sonorants.

Consonants

Voiceless stops are lightly aspirated.

/tj dj sj/ palatalise to [tɕ dʑ ɕ] (younger speakers are in the process of depalatalising these to [ts dz s]). Geminated /ɾ/ is produced as a trill [r].

Some speakers have difficulty differentiating /ɾ/ and /l/; others can differentiate them, but do so by producing /l/ as [n] and /ɾ/ as [ɾ ~ ɺ ~ ɭ ~ l]. This latter group of speakers generally produce stop-liquid clusters (/tɾ/, /bl/, etc) as voiceless aspirated stops (/tʰ/, /pʰ/, etc).

Vowels

The extent to which long vowels and geminate consonants are phonemic is debated, but both do affect the pitch accent. At the very least, /eː ~ ei/ and /oː ~ ou/ are phonemic, and most speakers distinguish /a/ from /aː ~ ɑː/ in key syll

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

Calcium, nickel, neon

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

When I got home, they were still there.