Two Deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says

β€œI can’t believe I blew 40 bucks in there”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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If I had 50 cents for every maths Exam I failed

I’d have $8.40.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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When I was a kid, I accidentally caught my parents having SEX

These were the most awkward 40 minutes of my life

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sterovebertz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...

"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 32k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amplifi-dash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I just got back from a shift at Tesco’s..

And while I was working a nice old lady came to my til. I scanned through all her items and it came to Β£56.83, but after counting up all her change she had just shy of Β£40.

So I offered to help her, to which she refused but I eagerly insisted. I thought this is probably someone’s Nan, and I’d like to think someone would help my Nan in the same situation.

So after no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I told my son NOT to download any microbiology text books.

He just did and now we have like 40 viruses on our computer.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration...

and 40% willingness to cheat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemiserofD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Last month my doctor told me, "Bob, this is seriously urgent. You really have to start drinking less vodka."

I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuhoBuhoGris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Consider the following

WD-40 is just wrench dressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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How old are you when you start liking Red wine?

U B 40

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Creed227
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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So, Gandhi, right?

On average, this guy walked 11+ miles per day for 40 years. WITHOUT SHOES.

Dude fasted frequently, too, so he didn't get a lot of the nutrients that most people get on a daily basis and presumably had bad breath.

That being said, Gandhi was...

A SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED WITH HALITOSIS.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey_HoofHearted
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Listening to sonic heroes makes me want to destroy a certain amount of robots

I wanna crush 40 robots.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Baby gender reveal at my family reunion

My brother’s wife has been pregnant for five months and decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

One night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally.

Once the cheers die down a little I shout out, β€œDo you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, β€œYeah. Liana Noelle.”

Everyone starts to β€œOoohhh” and β€œAhhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, β€œHow the hell are you supposed to spell Liana with no L?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mzahit29
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Not really a dad joke, but...

more like dad revelations. I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk.
Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. Probably 40 of the little suckers. I had to text my wife about that one. "Honey, I've got bad news. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Yes, our bird feed has been infested with... more bird feed."
Anyway, just thought I would share. Carry on with the groaners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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My dad didn't laugh so hopefully you'll enjoy.

Chatting on the phone with my dad while he was at work.

Dad "I've got a light on my helmet so I look like a miner"

Me "No, I would say you look about 40"

Not even a chuckle from him πŸ˜’

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T1TZILLA1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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A farmer asked his dad if he could round up his 36 sheep

β€œSure,” said the dad β€œ40.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40.

40 kids is way too much by any standard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LudwigFeuerbach
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Parents shouldn't have kids after 40.

I mean, 40 kids is probably already too many.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoorHalfwayShut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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All year, I've been telling my friends I just want to meet someone, fall in love be married by my next birthday...

which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"

And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.

I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.

But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.

With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and proposed to them both (on separate nights, of course) and they both said no. In fact, though they never knew of each other, I went from two good things to both of them not returning my calls. I guess proposing in a mall food court (for Jenny) or down on my knees in front of the bathroom at a minor league baseball game (Susan) were not my best laid plans, doomed to fail. Or maybe I just reeked of desperation.

So the morning of my birthday, I was practically in tears, deep in depression as I knew I missed my deadline. But my friends came though, kind of. They took me out bar hopping and then we all went back to my place where they had a stripper waiting in my favorite chair. She got up, sat me down, and gave me a grinding lap dance. She said nothing, but after a minute, stopped, turned around, looked me in the eye and said "one." Then she started up again, stopped after a minute, turned around and said "two..."

This went on all night until she got to "forty."

It's been a few months now, and I'm not too sad. My friends really tried to get me married, and after two near mrs, I guess it was the thot that counts.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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A skeleton gets on the bus

Bus driver: "Β£2.40 please"

Skeleton: "Sorry, I'm skint"

(I think this one only works with Scottish dads)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmac6691
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Wife's 40th

My wife is turning 40. I called to book a reservation at her favorite restaurant. The manager asked if it was a surprise. I said, "No, she knows that she's turning 40."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Critical-Error-75
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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My 10-year-old daughter gave me this one: My friend asked me to round up her 36 sheep.

So I told her 40.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freshstart321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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How to catch an elephant. A story by my dad which got me a walk to the Principal's office in 2nd grade

Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.

To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.

And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!

Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGoodLordsTaint
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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One long ass pun

There was this scientist that discovered a way to keep porpoises alive forever. Problem was that he had to feed them baby sea gulls Well the sea gull was a protect species so he had to be careful. Well one night he was bringing some back to the lab. It was very dark and he ran over a lion that was sleeping in the middle of the road A cop sees all this and you know what he arrested him for ? Carrying underaged gurls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises

This is not original. I read it in a book of puns 40 years ago. I do not know which one I would like to give it credit but it was 40 years ago

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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When does an English couple take a break?

2:40

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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The local auctioneer has passed away.

He was somewhere around 30, 35? 35, 40.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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God is love

The Devil is 40

Match Point!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N__ster07
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Loan me 50 dollars

One of the classic Β Abbott and Costello Β routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money. Β The skit ends with a simple β€˜read my mind’ routine that takes Lou’s last remaining bill. Β This routine was done Β many Β times, both in the movies and their radio show.

Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I can’t. I can’t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I can’t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and you’ll owe me 10 Β 
Lou Costello: Ok, I’ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: That’s right. Β [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Don’t change the subject.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing the subject; you’re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, there’s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: I’m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I don’t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: That’s the way you feel about it, that’s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and you’ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: I’m not running in, you’re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I can’t help it if you can’t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, here’s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, won’t loan a pal $50.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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You're 40, she's 10

You’re 40, she’s 10 – A classic Β Abbott and CostelloΒ skit, where Β Bud AbbottΒ tries to play a prank on Β Lou Costello, only for Lou to use his clownish math skills.

Slicker Smith (Bud Abbott): You’re 40 years old and you’re in love with this little girl that’s 10 years old. You’re four times as old as that girl and you couldn’t marry her, could you?
Herbie Brown (Lou Costello): Not unless I come from the mountains.
Slicker Smith (Bud Abbott): All right- you’re 40 years-old, you’re four times as old as this girl, and you can’t marry her, so you wait five years. By that time the little girl’s 15 and you’re 45. You’re only three times as old as that little girl. So you wait 15 years and when the girl is 30, you’re at 60. You’re only twice as old as that little girl.
πŸ“·****Herbie Brown (Lou Costello): She’s catching up.
Slicker Smith (Bud Abbott): Yes, yes. Now here’s the question. How long do you have to wait until you and that little girl are the same age?
Herbie Brown (Lou Costello): Now what kinda question is that? That’s ridiculous!
Slicker Smith (Bud Abbott): Ridiculous or not, answer the question.
Herbie Brown (Lou Costello): If I wait for that girl she’ll pass me up. She’ll wind up older than I am.
Slicker Smith (Bud Abbott): What are you talking about?
Herbie Brown (Lou Costello): She’ll have to wait for me!
Slicker Smith (Bud Abbott): Why should she wait for you?
Herbie Brown (Lou Costello): …I was nice enough to wait for her!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Jeff has had only one dream ever in his life, to become a train conductor.

Jeff went to his local train station and begged for the job. He got a job, as a janitor. Every day he swept the train car floors. To make his job easier, he added certain style to his sweeping technique. He used a 3 level system for how powerful he wanted to sweep. He had a small sweep for small piles of dust. Medium sweeps for leftover chip bags and plactic bottles. And the Super Mega Large sweeps for when there were spider webs as big as the train.

Jeff was a master sweeper, so he got Promoted!.. To hobo kicking. Nowadays he comes to the train station early in the morning, finds the nearest hobo, and kicks him out. However, Jeff's legs hurt after several strong kicks, so he used his 3 level system in hobo kicking. He had a small kick for tiny, bite sized hobos. Medium kicks for your average sized hobo. And his Super Mega Powerful kick for 300 pound hobos.

Jeff was sooooo good at kicking hobos and he was Promoted!.. to coal shoveling. Jeff arrives 20 minutes before his train departure, loads up with the conductor, and shovels coal. likewise with his legs, Jeff's arms got tired after several large piles of shoveled coal, so he used his 3 level system to rest Jeff's weak arms. Jeff dumps small piles of coal in the incinerator to send the train at a slow pace. He dumps a Medium pile for a somewhat fast pace. But when the train station's 30 miles away and he's scheduled to arrive in 7 minutes, Jeff uses his Big Gargantuan Humongous shoveling strength to send the train at super sonic speed!

After all of Jeff's many years of working for this train station, they finally promote him to Train Conductor! Jeff shows up to work 30 minutes early on his first day, conducts the train for his first time ever, and crashes the train. He injures 30 and kills 13 more. Jeff is sentenced to Death.

The day of Jeff's execution, he's asked for his last meal. Jeff tells the guard that he wants a 13 foot stack of pancakes and a 40 ounce jug of green Kool-Aid. Jeff takes exactly 34 minutes to eat with it all. 26 Mintues later, Jeff is taken to the electric chair.

Jeff sits down in the electric chair, and is strapped in by a nearby guard. After all the safety precautions, they turn on the electric chair.

BZZZZZZ

Nothin happened. The guard is confused and Jeff is confused. The guard trys it again.

BZZZZZZ

Nothing. Jeff doesn't even move a muscle. The guard decides to let Jeff go since he can't kill him. Before Jeff leaves, the guard has one question.

Guard : "Excuse me um, J

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saspa314
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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I met a rather old gentleman sitting on the sidewalk crying. I asked what was the matter.

β€œI’m married to an incredible woman 40 years my junior who likes to make love three times a day. She is the best homemaker and conversationalist and she is independently wealthy. We have the greatest life”.

β€œThat sounds wonderful” I said β€œWhy are you crying?”

β€œI can’t remember where we live!” he wailed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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There are 50 dogs and 48 cats how many dogs are hungry

10 because 40 ate cats

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tommiemie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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Every time...

0:00 0:01 0:02 0:03 0:04 0:05 0:06 0:07 0:08 0:09 0:10 0:11 0:12 0:13 0:14 0:15 0:16 0:17 0:18 0:19 0:20 0:21 0:22 0:23 0:24 0:25 0:26 0:27 0:28 0:29 0:30 0:31 0:32 0:33 0:34 0:35 0:36 0:37 0:38 0:39 0:40 0:41 0:42 0:43 0:44 0:45 0:46 0:47 0:48 0:49 0:50 0:51 0:52 0:53 0:54 0:55 0:56 0:57 0:58 0:59 1:00 1:01 1:02 1:03 1:04 1:05 1:06 1:07 1:08 1:09 1:10 1:11 1:12 1:13 1:14 1:15 1:16 1:17 1:18 1:19 1:20 1:21 1:22 1:23 1:24 1:25 1:26 1:27 1:28 1:29 1:30 1:31 1:32 1:33 1:34 1:35 1:36 1:37 1:38 1:39 1:40 1:41 1:42 1:43 1:44 1:45 1:46 1:47 1:48 1:49 1:50 1:51 1:52 1:53 1:54 1:55 1:56 1:57 1:58 1:59 2:00 2:01 2:02 2:03 2:04 2:05 2:06 2:07 2:08 2:09 2:10 2:11 2:12 2:13 2:14 2:15 2:16 2:17 2:18 2:19 2:20 2:21 2:22 2:23 2:24 2:25 2:26 2:27 2:28 2:29 2:30 2:31 2:32 2:33 2:34 2:35 2:36 2:37 2:38 2:39 2:40 2:41 2:42 2:43 2:44 2:45 2:46 2:47 2:48 2:49 2:50 2:51 2:52 2:53 2:54 2:55 2:56 2:57 2:58 2:59 3:00 3:01 3:02 3:03 3:04 3:05 3:06 3:07 3:08 3:09 3:10 3:11 3:12 3:13 3:14 3:15 3:16 3:17 3:18 3:19 3:20 3:21 3:22 3:23 3:24 3:25 3:26 3:27 3:28 3:29 3:30 3:31 3:32 3:33 3:34 3:35 3:36 3:37 3:38 3:39 3:40 3:41 3:42 3:43 3:44 3:45 3:46 3:47 3:48 3:49 3:50 3:51 3:52 3:53 3:54 3:55 3:56 3:57 3:58 3:59 4:00 4:01 4:02 4:03 4:04 4:05 4:06 4:07 4:08 4:09 4:10 4:11 4:12 4:13 4:14 4:15 4:16 4:17 4:18 4:19 4:20 4:21 4:22 4:23 4:24 4:25 4:26 4:27 4:28 4:29 4:30 4:31 4:32 4:33 4:34 4:35 4:36 4:37 4:38 4:39 4:40 4:41 4:42 4:43 4:44 4:45 4:46 4:47 4:48 4:49 4:50 4:51 4:52 4:53 4:54 4:55 4:56 4:57 4:58 4:59 5:00 5:01 5:02 5:03 5:04 5:05 5:06 5:07 5:08 5:09 5:10 5:11 5:12 5:13 5:14 5:15 5:16 5:17 5:18 5:19 5:20 5:21 5:22 5:23 5:24 5:25 5:26 5:27 5:28 5:29 5:30 5:31 5:32 5:33 5:34 5:35 5:36 5:37 5:38 5:39 5:40 5:41 5:42 5:43 5:44 5:45 5:46 5:47 5:48 5:49 5:50 5:51 5:52 5:53 5:54 5:55 5:56 5:57 5:58 5:59 6:00 6:01 6:02 6:03 6:04 6:05 6:06 6:07 6:08 6:09 6:10 6:11 6:12 6:13 6:14 6:15 6:16 6:17 6:18 6:19 6:20 6:21 6:22 6:23 6:24 6:25 6:26 6:27 6:28 6:29 6:30 6:31 6:32 6:33 6:34 6:35 6:36 6:37 6:38 6:39 6:40 6:41 6:42 6:43 6:44 6:45 6:46 6:47 6:48 6:49 6:50 6:51 6:52 6:53 6:54 6:55 6:56 6:57 6:58 6:59 7:00 7:01 7:02 7:03 7:04 7:05 7:06 7:07 7:08 7:09 7:10 7:11 7:12 7:13 7:14 7:15 7:16 7:17 7:18 7:19 7:20 7:21 7:22 7:23 7:24 7:25 7:26 7:27 7:28 7:29 7:30 7:31 7:32 7:33 7:34 7:35 7:36 7:37 7:38 7:39 7:40 7:41 7:42 7:43 7:44 7:45 7:46 7:47 7:48 7:49 7:50 7:51 7:52 7:53 7:54 7:55 7:56 7:57 7:58 7:59 8:00 8:01 8:02 8:03 8:04 8:05 8:06 8:07 8:08 8:09 8:10 8:11 8:12 8:13 8:14 8:15 8:16 8:17 8:18 8:19

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scott_MacGregor
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
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What do you call Harry Potter when he falls in mud...

... Dirty Harry.

Only those over 40 years old or well educated in great classic films will get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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My wife said she wants to see a new documentary called "American Circumcision".

She said it's 1 hour and 40 minutes long.

I said, "An hour and forty minutes? Is that the uncut version?"

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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A friend of mine who worked at a movie theater died yesterday...

The funeral service will be held tomorrow at 4:15, 5:20, 6:40 and 7:30.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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How is vodka different from a student taking their final exam?

Vodka has a guaranteed 40%

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ladamaster92
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Guy who owns the local cinema has died.

His funeral is on Monday at 12:10, 14:20 and 18:40.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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Baby gender reveal at my family reunion

My brother’s wife has been pregnant for five months and decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

One night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally.

Once the cheers die down a little I shout out, β€œDo you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, β€œYeah. Liana Noelle.”

Everyone starts to β€œOoohhh” and β€œAhhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, β€œHow the hell are you supposed to spell Liana with no L?”


Edit (10/22/2014): Probably won't be seen or noticed by anyone, but my baby niece was just born today! She's on the opposite side of the country, but I can't wait to meet her!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ted_E_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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