A list of puns related to "Dos Γ dos"
He says, βuno, dos..β and then POOF he disappeared without a tresβ¦
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
"Do you sell flop flops?"
What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed
"For excessive drinking" the officer replies So the prisoner replies "Great, when do we start?"
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"
The first muffin says "Damn! It's hot in here!"
The second muffin looks and says "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
(Being honest here. Not a dad. I'm a mom and my kids hate this joke!! I'll understand completely if y'all do too!)
They only do their job once theyβre fired
She asks the manager, "excuse me, do you have any flop-flops?"
....do they become a simphony?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastππ»β€οΈ
Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!π
"β¦ UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.
I wood do anything for you
Son: Dad, do trees poop?
Dad: Of course son, how do you think we get #2 pencils.
The man approaches a baker and says "excuse me, do you serve crab cakes here?"
The baker replies "no, we do not."
Saddened, the man lifts up the crab and says "what a shame... it's his cake day."
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
U.C.L.A...
But three lefts do
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef!
What do you call a cow after it gives birth? De-calf-enated!
Did you hear about that cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.
(After they beg you to stop, hit them with: "Ok, it's time too mooooove on to some different jokes. These cow jokes are getting udderly ridiculous.")
My kids have gotten to saying this a bunch, so now I reply like a dad...
"Oh ya! We went to the same New Year's party once."
"Sure! He makes the best crab dip."
"Big beard? Lousy tipper?"
"The tattoo guy?"
"Biblically."
"Gave him a 5-star Uber review."
"He was the best man at my wedding."
"I think I owe him $20."
"The bouncer at the club!? How do YOU know him?"
"Doesn't he work at the bakery next to PetSmart?"
"I heard he once punched a cop and broke his nose!"
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
DO you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Because people with only one arm can do everything single-handedly
Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.
Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?
Dad: Knock Knock.
Me: Whoβs there?
... So we went past it in pairs. That was only "dos-passing".
I just havenβt reddit yet
Edit: omg i never expected this to do so good, i usually get 3/4 upvotes, thank you all so much!!
But Abu Dhabi Do
What do you call a duck who's on drugs?
a QUACK HEAD
Someone probably already thought of that but whatever
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.
"Like a glove."
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Chicken clucks to his friend "don't do it mate, you'll never hear the end of it!"
"Well," he replied, "I'll do it if you pay me Β£400."
So I gave him Β£400, and he said, "Right, I'll start asking around."
She said, "It's a natural thing to do."
"Natural", I retorted. "She was giving him chips."
I just realized that Canadians have the best currency, they can buy things with it AND do 3D modeling!
WHAT DO YOU SAY IN FRANCE IF YOUR JEANS ARE LOOSE ?
TOULOUSE
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you canβt do that. That dogβll bite you.
Where do hamburgers go when they want to dance? A meat ball!
A solar bear
Bonus: what do you call a bear that practices dentistry?
A molar bear
So a frog walks into a bank and he goes up to the person working there and sees her nametag that says Patricia Whack so he says "miss whack i would like a loan of fifty thousand dollars for my vacation"
Patty just looks at him in disbelief so the frog ccontinues on "its okay I'm Kermit Jagger my dad is Mick Jagger and he knows the bank manager"
Patty is confused so she just responds "okay but you will need collateral for the loan"
"This oughta do it" the frog says while pulling a tiny porcelain elephant out of his pocket
Patty is even more confused so she excuses herself to the back to talk to her manager
Patty says to her manager "there is a frog who wants a loan and he said his dad is Mick Jagger and he tried to give me this elephant what is this?"
The manager replies "its a knicknack Patty whack give that frog a loan his old mans a rolling stone"
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabi do.
Me: What'd you do today?
My toddler: Nothing
Me: Are you sure about that?
My toddler: That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
All they do is nut and bolt
But when I do, I prefer dos eggies π³π³
Found this on Twitter:
My pal, driving in fog, got pulled over. Cop says βWhat do we do when we encounter Mr Fog?β. My pal thinks βbetter humour himβ so says β We turn Mr Steering Wheel towards Mr Slow laneβ. Cop says βNo Sir, I said βWhat do we do when we encounter MIST OR FOG !β
Did they stick their fingers in an electrical socket?
"No... Why..?"
Well, then, how do you know if they were good conductors or not?
Imagine the damage alcohol can do.
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
"Do you sell flip flips?"
Uno.... Dos..... Poof
He disappeared without a tres
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