Do you ever wonder if a cow thinks her calf who won't nurse.....
Is an utter disappointment?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
What do you call a narwhal that wonβt listen?
An ignarwhal.
Just told this one to my 6 year old daughter. complete crack up. Enjoy it while it lasts.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
What do you call a number that won't sit still??
A Roamin' Numeral.
(Apologies if it's an old joke. My daughter told me this today while doing online math class. THANKS COVID!!)
Everyone stay safe and healthy!
π︎ 414
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you call a duck that wonβt shut up?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
What do you say when anxious ideas won't leave you alone?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
What do you call a boomerang that wonβt come back?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
What do you call a stingray who wonβt stop farting?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 22 2020
My 9 month pregnant wife is ready to have our child any day now, but they just wonβt come. Sheβs tried everything she can at this point. Sex, walking, dancing, spicy foods, etc... So when I asked her what I could do to help she said βany means necessary.β
To which I replied βNo it doesnβt.β
π︎ 34
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
What do you call an onion that wonβt hold water?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you call a 3D video call that wonβt stop screaming?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
How do you reprimand someone who won't stop making wordplay jokes?
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 27 2020
What do you tell someone who won't get out of your greenhouse?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 12 2020
I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, βYOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.β
I went full sexist pig, βYOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.β
She replied coldly, βNo, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.β
I guffawed, βI canβt believe that, show me!β
So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, βHEBREWS!β
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Feb 22 2018
What do you call a southern Pennsylvania resident who wonβt pay for his local food specialty
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
What do you call a hot dog that won a race?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Aug 10 2019
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
What do you call a cross-eyed bison that won't eat wheat?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
A man asked his wife "What would you do if I won the Lottery?"
She replied "I'd take half and leave you."
"Great!", "I won $12, here's $6...Stay in touch......"
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
Why do people say βbe there or be square?β Probably because you wonβt be βa roundβ
π︎ 39
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
What do you call a number that wonβt keep still?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
What do you call an ant that won't go away?
π︎ 57
π
︎ May 30 2018
How do you figure out what videos wonβt be monetized?
You have to hop back and forth, figure out what works, kinda like DDR; you have to play an alga-rhythm game.
Please donβt shun me.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 27 2017
What do you call a guy who wonβt stand for the National Anthem?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 28 2019
What do you call a rock who just wonβt give up?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 18 2019
All Star Wars characters played a game. Do you know who won?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 18 2018
What do you call a leg bone that won't stop hating on your gods?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 19 2018
"Do you know that an alligator wonβt attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
" Really, Honey?"
βDepends on how fast you carry the flashlight.β
π︎ 14
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︎ Oct 16 2017
What do you call it when your birthing coach won't come to help deliver the baby?
A mid-wife crisis
(Or a "no can doula")
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 21 2018
What do you call an eel that won't come out of its cave?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 12 2014
What do you call a refrigerator that won't refrigerate?
A cabinet.
...
My youngling asked me this after encountering a refrigerator in any unexpected location. My natural response was "r", but I was way off, apparently. The provided answer seemed on par for this sub, and I have never heard this joke before. I got a kick out of it. I hope you enjoy it too.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 14 2018
What do you call a mom who won't stop taking pictures of you?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 07 2018
What do you say about a Hobbit that won't shut up?
He's Tolkien your ear off.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Sep 07 2016
Well if you won't do him, Alduin.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 28 2015
What do you do when your Islamic dogs won't stop biting?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 17 2017
Do you think that if Carrot Top ever won a lifetime achievement award for comedy,
He'd give props to all the people that helped him along the way?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2015
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
π︎ 53
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
What do you call a boomerang that wonβt return to your hand?
π︎ 57
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
What do you call a boomerang that wonβt come back?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jul 14 2019
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 28 2017
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