Phil is to blame for this one, nothing to do with me.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Nothing I can do about it
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs1104666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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What do you call it when there is nothing on your math homework?

No problem!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/General_Hyde
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My wife got me good and there was nothing I could do

I was playing with our toddler when for whatever reason Humpty Dumpty popped in my head. I started trying to think of a funny rhyme about Dumpty cracking open and being unable to pay for US medical care and thus now lives a pain-addled, poor life. Yeah, idk.

Anyway, I couldn’t think of the original second half of the rhyme and so I asked my wife. She told me the rhyme and I said thanks. After a short silence goes by she goes,

β€œWhat are you doing, trying to think of another lame dad yolk?”

I didn’t know my son had two dads but I know now

Edit: typos

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoutTreeeFiddy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I don't know why people are complaining there's nothing to do. I've been stockpiling the whole day.
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Larryfacejr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?

Bored.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2shack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Of course I'm not. I'm going to stay at home. That has nothing to do with the lockdown though!
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Han Solo when he has nothing to do?

Harrison Bored

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/datChef
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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My teen daughter was complaining about life under β€œSafer at home”. β€œI can’t see my friends, there’s literally nothing to do that’s not online. Even my classes are online!”

I said, β€œOK, Zoomer.β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What do you win in a contest for doing absolutely nothing?

Atrophy

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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Doing nothing is very hard to do

You never know when you're finished

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?

He was bored to death

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Of_The_Ocean_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Vegetarians claim to want nothing to do with meat but every day they walk around on two calves.
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowdaruma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do the French drink when there’s nothing to do?

Bordeaux

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pROPEnta
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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"Hey I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing" "Dad, you're not paying me at all"

"That's what I just said. I'm not paying you now get back to work"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WolvenGhost
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
So, a pig had nothing to do.

He was pretty boar-ed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gojira04YT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Apparently modern feminism wants nothing to do with guys who are over six feet

#NoTallMen

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call pasta with nothing on.

Noodles!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maduroy61
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What should you do when your kid has nothing to do?

Play a board game

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens to wild pigs, when they got nothing to do?

They get bored

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skjoldbro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit a temple, I have no idea what to do. So I stand around and do nothing.

I’m an idle worshipper.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mechanic that does nothing but sit by the sofa?

An ottoman

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/craigilla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What do sheep say when they have nothing to do?

This is baa-ring

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hdeifh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do lions sleep on dirt? Because they have nothing to li-on
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
How do escape a concrete room with no windows or doors, with nothing but a dresser and a mirror?

You look in the mirror and saw what you see, then saw the dresser in half.

Then you use the two halves of the dresser to make a whole, and jump through it to freedom.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonicWolf591
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Me: I have nothing to do tomorrow.

Dad: Well it is a free day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deblob123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a tiny plank of wood with nothing to do?

A little bored

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wer190
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deck of cards with nothing to do?

Cardbored

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenoraiser
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
🚨︎ report
"Dad, my friend and I have nothing to do"

Dad stops woodworking and says "Okay, then look at this", and holds up a saw in the air. "Do you see it?" he says.

The two kids were puzzled, but affirmed it.

"Good," the dad said, "now you two have a see-saw."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2016
🚨︎ report
I used to think there was nothing I could do about being lob-sided without expensive surgery, but was advised to put ab extra in-sole in one shoe, so...

I stand corrected.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2017
🚨︎ report
There's nothing more we can do...

http://i.imgur.com/TC0vm2b.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirjy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
🚨︎ report
"I smile because you are my son. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it."

--a small plaque in my dad's study.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NortySpock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?

Board.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
🚨︎ report

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