I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
SumerianCore, a microgenre of progressive metalcore known to a few of the newer crop of “-core” listeners and fondly remembered by a small number of older fans of the genre. The microgenre was championed by Sumerian Records signed bands like Periphery, After the Burial, Veil of Maya, I The Breather, and Chicago-based Born of Osiris.
Born of Osiris arguably hit their peak along with the apex of SumerianCore itself, with 2011’s The Discovery. The record was a set of expertly crafted progressive metalcore, with djent-infused breakdowns, Phrygian-dominant scale runs giving tracks its “Egyptian” feel, backed with strong keyboard and synth arrangements. It was the strong off-kilter chugs, Phrygian runs, and blistering solos that carried The Discovery and thereby Born of Osiris to the head of the game, in large part due to the songwriting and solos by guitar virtuoso Jason Richardson. The controversial departure of Richardson after The Discovery saw a steep decline in quality and the subsequent record, Tomorrow We Die Alive was largely underwhelming, lacking the intricacies that two guitarists brought to the microgenre and the classic BoO songwriting style. Admittedly, I didn’t give more than a passing listen to Soul Sphere and more recently 2019’s The Simulation. However, with the release of the first single “White Nile” off 2021’s Angel or Alien¸ I can freely admit that I am excited to listen to Born of Osiris for the first time since The Discovery.
Angel or Alien kicks off without any faffy intro that many metalcore bands are wont to do. “Poster Child” opens with the classic “wooping” keyboard arrangement leading into the syncopated chugs and we’re dropkicked by everything older BoO fans have been missing for many years. Following the album opener, are the two singles, “White Nile” and the title track “Angel or Alien”. “White Nile” has a single riff around which the entire track is built, which when coupled by the keyboards is an instant Egyptian earworm, or rather an ear-scarab that burrows itself into the listener’s brain and stays there for weeks: bouncy, energetic, groovy, and exquisitely layered. In comparison, the title track “Angel or Alien”, a strong track in its own regard is not nearly as catchy or memorable as “White Nile”. However, this track is special because it is the first (or showcases an extremely rare use) of clean vocals, something Born of Osiris has stayed away from throughout their catalog. Unlike the whiney auto-tuned or over-processed
... keep reading on reddit ➡I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They were cooked in Greece.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
