I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
What is The Weekly Mock Draft?
As some of you may remember, I posted a mock draft each week of the season last year on my old account. Sadly, I wasn’t able to complete the entire series but I plan on doing it this year. Every Wednesday/Thursday of the season (starting today and ending after Week 18), I will post a mock draft. The order is determined by Tankathon (record and SOS) and will be updated weekly as well. This will be used as a tool to determine how the stocks of the top prospects changed throughout the year and for the fans to have something to look forward to once football games are over for the week. The teams will pick players as if they are drafting today. Enjoy!
1. Houston Texans: Spencer Rattler, QB, Oklahoma
A QB has consistently been the #1 pick since 2018 and I expect that trend to continue in 2022. Deshaun Watson is most likely on his way out Houston amid legal issues and his own discontent with the franchise. Tyrod Taylor is by no means a long-term solution and is only serving as a stopgap, and Davis Mills will need to seriously impress the Texans for any hopes of them passing on QB in this draft. Rattler is coming off a disappointing season opener against Tulane, but a player can’t be judged based one on game and the Oklahoma QB possess the necessary skills worthy of the top pick.
2. Detroit Lions: Sam Howell, QB, North Carolina
While I am a firm believer that Jared Goff is not truly a terrible QB, I do expect him to be among the worst starters in the league. His receiving group is very unfavorable and it will come as no surprise if he ends up being the ultimate scapegoat for Detroit’s woes. Like Rattler, Howell started the season on a weak note, and I similarly expect him to come back to form as the season progresses and be a top pick consideration.
3. New York Jets: Derek Stingley Jr., CB, LSU
Stingley Jr. is arguably the best prospect in the upcoming draft and he fits exactly what the Jets need: a talented CB that can start right away. The Jets will be starting Brandin Echols and Bryce Hall, two late-round picks in the past two years. I find it hard to imagine either one of them making a big enough impact to deter the team from selecting a replacement.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars: DeMarvin Leal, DT, Texas A&M
The Jaguars defensive line starters are all under contract until at least 2023, but none of them are particularly as dangerous as Leal. He boasts versatility along the defensive line and comes equi
... keep reading on reddit ➡Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
