Dense granule Puns

Ingredients for the cake:
All Purpose Flour- 2 Cups
Granulated Sugar- 2 Cups
Unsweetened Cocoa- 1 Cup
Baking Powder- 1.5 tsp
Baking Soda- 1.5 tsp
Salt- 1 tsp

Buttermilk- 1 cup
Vegetable Oil- 0.5 cup
Eggs- 2
Vanilla Extract- 2 tsp
Espresso Brew- 1.5 tsp in 1 cup (boiling) water

Ingredients for the frosting:
Unsalted butter- 1.25 cups
Unsweetened Cocoa Powder- 1 cup
Confectioner's sugar- 3 cups
Milk- 0.5 cup
Heavy Cream- 4 tbsp
Vanilla Extract- 2 tsp
Espresso Powder- 1tsp
Salt- 0.25 tbsp

For decoration:
Semi Sweet chocolate chips- 0.75 cups

Baked for about 40 minutes, in the microwave (preheated at 350 f)

The cake turned out far too dense (it's supposed to be extra moist, though)- I would like it to be slightly lighter.

Also, it was too sweet.

But most importantly, it didn't bake all the way through at all- it did rise, and the top/bottom and sides were baked (the top was burnt, even), but the inside was almost completely liquid.

Please help! I love the idea of baking cakes for my loved ones on their birthdays, but they always turn disastrous- they taste good, but don't bake. I don't know what I'm doing wrong :(((

Let’s talk about weird and wonderful plant life. Sometimes we need an unusual plant for the PCs to encounter. Perhaps we don’t want another combat encounter in the wilderness. Maybe normal plants are just boring and we want a magical fantasy twist to the scenery. Maybe we just like rolling on tables and plants don’t seem to get love in that regard. Whatever the reason, it would be nice to get some dice and randomness involved. I suppose it’s worth saying that when we are saying ‘plant’ it’s being used as a fairly broad and definitely scientifically inaccurate way e.g. we’re including fungi and corals.

Environment

The conditions that the plant has evolved in may affect how it looks or behaves. Some adaptations might be more suitable to certain climates than others. Perhaps our first table should be a simple one. Lets generate different emblematic plant types for different stereotypical fantasy environments. Our starting point is the five main biome types: Aquatic, grassland, forest, desert, tundra. As well as these, we will follow up with a few unusual biomes relating to fantasy such as other planes of existence.

Urban environments: For now we will leave out City environments since really these usually have plant life from the surrounding biomes. They may also have systems that allow for plant life from other environments e.g. greenhouses or irrigation. Therefore, for urban environments simply pick the table you feel is most appropriate and then, if you wish to, create some logic for this plant being able to thrive in the city’s biome. Perhaps a god gifted the plant to the town in the past or the local wizards help them grow to show off. Unusual plants can often be a personal status symbol or they might represent something about the culture e.g. during the British Empire it was very fancy to have plants from the extremities of the empire. Like under the British Empire, botanical gardens may also play a role in the economics of colonialism as seed beds. Unusual plants may also simply be in the city for study by horti-occulturists or people of science.

Dungeon Environments: As far as I can tell, there doesn’t seem to be much point making a dungeon or underground plant table. Nearly all or perhaps all plants need light to live. Some plants can grow in low light, such as those which grow on densely foliated forrest floors. Even if they don’t need light they likely feed on decaying matter f

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

I cooked two waffles and they're too dense and crumbly. They're not awful but they're not right.

Is there any hope for the remaining batter?

If it helps, I used: 1 egg, not separated. Self raising flour. Granulated sugar. Butter, melted. Milk. Vanilla essence. Salt. Baking powder.

Everything was added without measurements, I just went with what looked right based on the YouTube videos I had watched. Except the egg, I just used one egg.

Buenosdillas

Hi, guys! Tried some stuff on paper blotters and these are my first impressions:

• Acqua Di Parma Yuzu EDP

Just pleasant simple Yuzu fresh fragrance. There are some more fragrances which are capturing that citrus in more interesting way.

• Andrea Maack Coven

Overall it does smell like wet dried grass, hay after the rain with galbanum on background. In the dry down galbanum became more prominent. Galbanum to me smells like salty dried grass.

• Atelier Cologne Musc Imperial

Smell of your skin after you washed it with pretty expensive soap.

• Atelier Cologne Vanille Insensee

Just dry vanilla. Not picking much else yet.

• Atelier Des Ors Riviera Drive

Beautiful lemon opening which settles down into clean fresh musk and touch of woods.

• Azzaro Wanted by Night EDP

Very fresh shower gel type of scent with some sweetness.

• Bogue Lita

Oh yeah, that is similar to Tyrannosaurus Rex. Same organic burning smell, but T-Rex is way more horrible in that way. It has some fresher side. Might sound crazy, but this smells like someone is decided to burn his leather jacket or tire in the cold of winter. Quite cool!!!

• Bois 1920 Centenario

Beautiful fresh coconutty, slightly tropical opening which is mixed with time with iris and settles down like this! I can feel coconut even in dry down and it's a good coconut fragrance for sure!

• Bois 1920 Verde di Mare

It's not that marine or aquatic as I was expecting, but anyway this one smells nice and very positively. Opening is really fresh and basically it is a smell of soft citruses. It dries down into hard to describe scent. Something like smell of blowed up soapy bubbles in the air on sunny day with some floral background.

• Bottega Veneta Pour Homme EDT

Fresh coniferous opening like you rubbed some needles in your hands. Leather is also here, but it is just adds some darker aura.

• Byredo Eleventh Hour

Plum forward fragrance with soft hints of rum.

• Byredo Tobacco Mandarin

I like it's opening. Smells like new dark leather plus labdanum with hints of tobacco and spices. Really deep and refined. I wish it has been like this until it's dry down. But in the dry down stinky oud emerged, unfortunately.

• Carner Volcano

Opens up with sweet, almost jammy rose. Then dries down into quite dynamic combination of some leathery aspects and rose. Reminded me about The Cobra & The Canary, but not because of similar smell - those are not similar, but

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

There hasn't been a post all year!