What did the grape say when it was crushed?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine...
I read an article about dried grapes recently
It was all about raisin’ awareness
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, damn it! Breathe!
My kid asked me if they could have a Grape PowerAde
I told them “With Grape PowerAde comes Grape Responsibility.”
If a pitcher threw two balls and two strikes to Desmond Tutu, the announcer would get to say:
"Here's the 2-2 to Tutu."
What a grape idea for an old meme.
Why was the man not bothered or upset that someone had stolen all his dried grapes?
He had no raisons to be...
How do homes strike up a conversation?
A good way to strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive
Why are squashed grapes so sensitive?
They always let out a little wine.
During dinner, I turned to my wife and said, “I used to be grapes.”
She said, “Huh?”
Me: Sorry. That must have been the wine talking.
Did you hear about the grape that betrayed his country?
My friends asked me why I hang my grapes outside to dry
I told them, “I have my raisins.”
What does (do?) a spider and a grape have in common?
Everything, except one has 8 legs and the other is a grape.
This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe grandpa, or they will have to put you in the box! (Raisin joke on top)
Grape’s don’t cry when they get crushed...
But they do let out a little “wine”!
I googled "What can you make with 50kg of sulfur?"
Lightening never strikes coffee beans
I like talking to my kids about the benefits of dried grapes.
It's all about raisin awareness.
I like to read news articles about grapes
I like to buff up on currant events.
What should you do if your nose goes on strike?
Mesopotamias were famous for striking people with a flexible instrument...
That was their whiputation
There was once a old grape farmer, who had gone through many droughts. When his grapes had fallen and dried out, all he could say was....
Everything happens for a raisin.
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house.
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.
"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.
"Yeah? What?" She responded.
"Was that you?" I called back.
After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"
I could not stop laughing.
Clock tower maintenance workers are going on strike!
“It’s about high time,” commented the union representative.
I live for dried grapes.
They are my raisin d'etre...
Why are bananas favored over grapes?
I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....
It's all about raisin awareness
My 10 year old daughter just told me this one. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"
"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"
I've never been so proud.
What does the grape say after it's stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little whine.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing - but it let out a little whine
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine...
The grape didn't say much when he got stepped on.
He just let out a little wine.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe man! Damnit, breathe!
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATH!!
Edit: breathe..dammit
What did the grape do when it was stepped on?
It let out a little whine.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe damn it, breathe!"
What did the green grape say to the purple grape
What did the grape say when he got punched?
Nothing, but he gave a little wine.
What did the grape say when it's crushed?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATHE, YOU IDIOT!! BREATHE!!!!
What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
What did the grape say when it got crushed?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
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