What is Jonathon Davis’ favorite food?

Leek on a Quiche.

(I bet you thought I’d say Korn on the Cob).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMC_Ascension
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2022
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The police showed up at my house one night while I was practicing my trumpet. Said they were investigating a homicide.

They said they had a report that somebody named Miles Davis was being murdered in my house.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2023
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What was miles Davis’s favorite plant?

Jasmine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jibjabjibby
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2022
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Ray and Dave Davies should be ashamed of themselves!!

Sometimes I can’t help but kink shame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadDad909
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
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What happens when the smog lifts over California?

UCLA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cwellsuited
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2022
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An orchestra conductor calls 911. β€œHelp! My oboe player swallowed his reed! What do I do?”

The 911 operator says β€œSimple. Have a muted trumpet cover the part.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourOverLordisME
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2022
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My best friend, Davis, asked me how far I would travel to listen to my favourite jazz music.

I said, "Miles, Davis."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2021
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I’m feeling kind of Blue

I think I’ve come down with some Mild Davis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockyRhoadRunner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2022
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Yorrick Davis.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Did you ever hear the story about the Swedish version of Davy Crockett?

He was Bjorn on a mountaintop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2021
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Why didn't anyone trust Bette Davis'pathologist?

Because she had Bette Davis eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19triguy82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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A man was playing snooker when....

he gets a ball stuck in his throat.

He goes to the hospital and gasps to the nurse "Help please, I have a snooker ball stuck in my throat"

She replies "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to get to the end of the cue"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iShitSkittles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2022
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What does the blanket say while falling of the bed?

Oh sheet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odd_Relation6439
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2022
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What did Davy Crockett say when the waitress brought his pie?

"Remember the a la mode!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?

His right ear, his left ear, and his wild front ear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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Class, can anyone tell me how Sammy Davis Jr. lost his eye?

"I can, sir...."

Wrong! Car accident.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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Why does Miles Davis hate traveling in Europe?

because they keep calling him Kilometers Davis there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/npg33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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Tried to play Miles Davis on my guitar...

...I Kind of Blue it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turnipthief
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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Davy Crockett was into a bar ...

The bar gets angry. Crockett and the bar wrassle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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How does Davy Crockett like his pie served?

Alamode.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SBeckerDTD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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Ray Davies wanted to start a new band...

...but I heard he was unable to get the kinks out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megawang
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Ray Davies, Dave Davies and some friends each hired some personal trainers to figure out a training routine.

At first it was hard but eventually they worked out the kinks.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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I was once in a queue with John Miles and Miles Davis

It didn't take long, but it went on for Miles and Miles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KitchenParty
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
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I think Davis might be a dad... imgur.com/gallery/hK86UQx…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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An old one my dad uses: How many ears did Davy Crocket have?

Three, cause he was king of the wild front ear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGeorge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
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Did you know Davie crocket had 3 ears?

A left ear, a right ear and a wild fronti-ear!

Courtesy of my father

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TBDMfan666
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?

Kilometery Cyrus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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Who’s the most popular jazz musician in Europe?

The trumpet player Kilometer Davis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MathiasSybarit
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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What former MLB player always wears a light jacket?

Chili Davis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaynecobb1374
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2021
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Ever since the kraken quit smoking..

He’s been Davy Jonesing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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I recently discovered whimsical jazz.

My favorite musicians so far are Derpy Hancock, Charles Dingus, and Smiles Davis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamefreq0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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Dad joked my professor, got threatened with a 3 page essay

Some background, I'm taking Listening to Jazz this semester to fill my arts credit. Last week the professor talked about musicians Miles Davis and John Coltrane, and their albums Kind of Blue and A Love Supreme.

During class he was trying to explain to us what the difference between different kinds of jazz were. So he pulled all the students wearing blue and asked each student he pulled to describe their shade of blue. I was picked and when it was my turn, I just looked at him and said "My shirt looks... Kind of Blue" referencing a Miles Davis' album. My professor double face palmed and was so disgusted by me I almost felt bad for laughing. He threatened to give me a 3 page essay on why that was the worst answer I could've given.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatmanstan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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Did you know that before the civil war

In school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyjaymes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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A bunch of musicians decided to have a meal together.

Jonathan Davis brought the corn and Fred Durst made biscuits but they were a little too limp. Marshal Mathers wasn't prepared, so all he could provide was some M&M's. Neil Peart had to leave early because he was in a rush, and the meal was so bad that it disturbed David Draimen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masta666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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My sisters boyfriend dadjoked her!

I asked my sister if she knew any jazz that I would like. She said "Miles Davis", and then her boyfriend said "Is there a Kilometers Davis?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPeddle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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Hit my family while watching jack the giant slayer...

While watching said movie; one of the little people actors popped up on screen spurring a mid movie discussion.

Mom : wasn't he from willow?

Dad: nawh I think he died a few years ago.

Mom: he died young I guess. He was what, 18 in willow?

Me: yeah it's scientifically proven that they live shorter lives.

Then my dad let out the proudest smile I ever saw

Clarification: they're all fine. Warwick davis is alive and well. He is now 44 years old. And I'm 24

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohcrayyy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
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Waiter told me this one last night...

What do you call endless love?

Louis Armstrong and Miles Davis playing tennis.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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Jazz dadjoke

So while preparing for a dinner party Miles Davis "My Funny Valentine" comes on the player. I have been slowly trying to thin out some of the unecessay tunes on our device. I don't really care much for jazz, but the wife likes it.

Me: So I assume you like this song?

Wife: Yeah

Me: I feel like I am at friend who enjoys torturous jazz's house.

Wife: It's not like it's free jazz.

Me: Free or not, it's taxing my ears!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruderthanyourmom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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Hoe many ears did Davy Crockett have?

Three. A left ear. A right ear. And a wild frontier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imabookwyrm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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How many ears does davy crockett have?

Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a wild front ear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sizzleprint
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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How does Davy Crockett like his pie?

Alamo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkpicklez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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