Daryl Somers Puns

I'm not talking about being reminded of my own mortality (50 years! Fuck me!)

I've always had a soft-spot for the show (I once managed to embarrass my younger brother on it), but seeing the declining health of Molly and Blackman and so many of the others too ill to even appear was heartbreaking.

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

https://i.imgur.com/Ma5kfZ3.png

Above is an image of our first attempt at a network graph of the Mandela Effect.

We cheated a bit by leveraging the data from an industry that already has publicly accessible and detailed records of their networks of relationships. What am I talking about?

Yeup, Hollywood (basically the movie industry, at least for now) and its incestuous networks are some of the most publicly visible in the world.

To prevent too many extraneous connections (google: 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon), we've tried to adhere to a few rules: the only nodes on the map must either be an actor/director/composer/etc. who was directly affected by an ME (name change) or a movie containing an ME, and if it's a movie with an ME, then it must have at least 1 connection (since by default all the people should already have 1 at minimum) and must be a an actual movie that played in theaters. We might add TV shows later on, but that might get very large and very messy very quickly.

And what's the point of all this? Once the network is more developed, it can be analyzed as well as connected to other data. Let's say that it turns out that 90% of movies affected by MEs are produced by one company (I'm pretty sure that's not true). That would probably be something worth investigating. Or maybe 80% of celebrities affected by MEs all started as mouseketeers (also fairly certain that's not true). I'd probably be very wary of Disney if that were the case. Or maybe the funding of the movies can be traced to a particular source, or maybe all the celebrities on the list had documented breakdowns because they woke up one day and their name was different. You get the idea. And of course there are also specific techniques/strategies used to analyze networks that we're not currently familiar with that could be a potential source of new insights in the future.

But just at a glance, there doesn't seem to be anything too crazy going on (except that the connections in Hollywood really are extremely dense and highly networked. Makes for an interesting parallel to the ME.). There is a small, spiky fuzzball anomaly on the graph, but that will probably go away after a small correction. You'll probably be able to guess what it is after seeing the list:

Alex Trebek

Andrew Zimmern

Barbra Streisand

Bruce Springsteen

Christopher Reeve

Clint Eastwood

Courteney Cox

Dan Aykroyd

Danielle Steel

Desi Arnaz

Donna Summer

Dustin Hoffman

Eddie Murphy

Ethan Coen

Fr

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved