Back in my day, we used to cough to cover up a fart.
But nowadays, with Covid, you fart to cover up a cough.
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.
Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.
Edit: remove one case
I was trying to form a Fleetwood Mac cover band, but couldn't get the vocalist just right...
I had to Nicks that idea.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...
Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...
American Airlines Magazine Cover: Unsung Heroes - Sandwiches you’ve never heard of but need to try
I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me...
She said “what are you doing? What is that noise?”
I said “I’ve been screwing around behind your back.”
She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover.
I found it way more entertaining then she did.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
I'm thinking of starting a new website, exclusively so people can subscribe to Ninja Sex Party cover bands.
Did you know that the chemical composition of snow changes from "H2O" to "Ba" when it covers your car?
There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
I want to create a Pink Floyd album cover out of cereal.
I think I’ll call it the dark side of the spoon.
I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France. When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement. The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!
It's my last resort!
Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"
What does a doctor use to cover his mistakes?
I was trying to get a TV show made, one where each episode covers a different job title at the airport.
It never made it past the pilot.
I'm going to open up a store that only sells two bed covers and two snorkels.
Just four sheets and goggles.
EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com
im balding and my girlfriend said I need to wear a hat to cover it up. I told her no and she broke up with me... no cap..
Ducks have feathers to cover their butt quacks.
I think my wife wants me to cover myself in oil.
I vaguely overheard her going on and on about how I never glisten.
When I went to culinary school, the bullies used to cover me with chocolate and cream, and then put a cherry on my head.
Life was tough in the gateau.
I've decided I want to manage an all Muslim 80's cover band. The name?
A good conversation is like a skirt. Short enough to keep your interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
What do you use to cover Eminem's gift?
What do the people of Mordor use to cover their leftover food in the fridge?
The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.
It was a worst case scenario.
Did you hear about the newspaper reporter assigned to cover spiky vegetables?
I heard a cover of 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' the other day. It was painful to listen to, but over quickly.
Like ripping off a Band Aid.
My dad trying to cover up his bad grammar
I was editing a newsletter he wrote and pointed out that he needed a period
Dad: "Why didn't the sentence have a period?"
Me: ...
Dad: "Because it was pregnant!"
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream, and put a cherry on my head.
Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
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