What do you call it when a traveling student is checking out a girl in another country?

Studying a broad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.

Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ST3RT0RGU3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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How do you pick up a country girl?

A tractor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marblechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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How do you get a country girl to like you?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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I'm dating a girl who's on the cross-country team, but something doesn't seem right...

I think she's been running around...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Country girl goes to visit her big city cousin.

So the two girls get invited to a dance. The country girl thinks this might be too high brow for her, and tells her cousin, β€œGolly, them city fellers might think I’m just a dumb hick.” Her cousin says, β€œDon’t worry. Just do as I do and you’ll be fine.” After hours of dancing they got tired, so they sat down. Another guy comes and asks the city girl to dance. She smiles sweetly and says β€œI’m contemplating matrimony and I think I’d like to sit.” So when the next guy comes up to ask the country girl to dance she smiles confidently and says, β€œI’m constipated on macaroni and I think I’d like to shit.”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Feeling a bit girly

My best friend just returned from Denmark and came over to watch the game.

Dad: So how was your last semester?

Friend: It was amazing. I was abroad. It was so much fun.

Dad: Yeah, you did seem a little more feminine than I remember.

-Couldn't help but laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kamdaman1212
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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Baby gender reveal at my family reunion

My brother’s wife has been pregnant for five months and decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

One night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally.

Once the cheers die down a little I shout out, β€œDo you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, β€œYeah. Liana Noelle.”

Everyone starts to β€œOoohhh” and β€œAhhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, β€œHow the hell are you supposed to spell Liana with no L?”


Edit (10/22/2014): Probably won't be seen or noticed by anyone, but my baby niece was just born today! She's on the opposite side of the country, but I can't wait to meet her!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ted_E_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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Timbuktu

There was a poetry slam competition final between a university scholar and a country person.

Both had one minute to think of a poem that had to have timbuktu in it

The university student goes first and says:

slowly across the desert sand

trekking a lonely caravan

men on camels two by two

destination Timbuktu

and the crowd went wild. then it was the country mans turn to go

he said:

Tim and I hunting we went

met three girls in a pop up tent

they were three and we were two

so i bucked one and timbuktu

Who won?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flynnstar01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Didn't realize it was a Dad Joke until too late...

A little context: I'm driving around in Yellowstone with my dad and my girlfriend. My dad went on a three week cross country ski winter camping trip when he was 17 in Yellowstone. We are currently talking about whether or not it is important to carry bear spray.

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about that time I woke up a bear on my ski trip?"

Me: "What?! No, that's crazy, what happened?"

Dad: "Well, we were skiing through an open field when we hear a rumbling from about 100 yards behind us, and we turn back and there's a huge bear, and he looks at us and starts lumbering in our direction. At the time, I was with this girl who was not a very good skier, but we were pretty sure black bears can't climb trees, so we start hustling towards the woods. So I'm pulling her along and this bear is gaining on us but we get to the closest climbable tree and the bear is still 50 yards back. Like I said, she wasn't a very good skier, or really very coordinated in general, so I help boost her up into the tree and she's up there and she's pretty safe, but this took a minute and a lot of my energy. So now the bear is only about 15 feet away, and I've still got my skis on, and, you know, back then we didn't have fancy cross country skis, we had these big metal cable bindings and leather lace up boots, so I definitely don't have time to get them off. And I'm so exhausted from dragging this girl across the field and then shoving her up into the tree that I've got almost nothing left, and the first branch is about 8 feet off the ground. But this bear is coming at me and there's nothing I can do but jump for it, so I leap and pull myself up and over the branch using everything I've got right as the bear lunges for me and bites into my ski boot. So here I am, doubled over this branch with a bear's jaws on my foot, my skis on, and not one ounce of energy left, and he's really sinking his teeth in and he's really just pulling my leg just like I'm pulling yours!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipore22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
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How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lora_Gev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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