A list of puns related to "Code M"
My team is looking for a name for our coding golf web app. The idea is to solve a problem in as few characters of code as possible and we need a code-golf pun for the brand name. We will credit the user if we choose their pun, of course.
Happy punning!
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Re-Morse code!
The name of the page we're creating is recast.ly => Rick Astley.
with nonbinary code
Norse code
Morose code
Shout out to u/thelifesponge for inspiration on this one!
Using Norse code
I call it the remorse code
" It's my new counting system, see that special collar on me dog, it's got a camera and it scans the sheep as the dog rounds them up. "
"Damn me, what'll they think of next? What's it called?"
"Baa codes mate"
A new coding bootcamp, featuring international percussion ensembles, sponsored by former vice president and climate change activist behind An Inconvenient Truth.
"Al Gore Rhythm"
I knew it had to be a code for something.
We have a code dependent relationship.
They called it Norse code
Horse code.
He has hoes in different area codes.
RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on Reddit.
I wasn't told the dress code so I wasn't Aladdin
Why do Norwegian military boats and submarines have bar codes on their hulls?
Two answers:
So they can make sure they can a fjord them
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian
Horse code.
Because it's code outside.
Using Norse Code
By their bark-codes.
Sci Comp Professor: your dog ate your coding assignment?
Me:
Prof:
Me: It took him a couple of bytes.
(Saw this on r/puns)
Because he was all about the con ami code
We were talking about the dress she was wearing at dinner.
Me: "this is a cute lil number, did you wear it to work?"
Her: "no, we can't wear dresses, it's dress code"
Me: "seems more like an anti-dress code"
She told me to get out :)
Moss code
Why don’t Vikings like to send emails?
They prefer to use Norse code!
more dad style computer jokes at https://puns.dev
Code dependent
They're painting bar codes on their ships so when they come into port, they just scan-da-navy-in.
Store intercom: We have a Code Adam. He is wearing a black jacket.
Mom: Code Adam is a lost child.
Me: Apparently.
Mom: More like No-parent-ly.
Remorse code
Moose Code
In the late '60s the government was developing ARPANET and the developers were trying to find a way for users on the system to communicate with each other.
The scientists involved came up with an electronic messaging system that they called the Tickle.
Tickles could be used to send important code updates, meeting invitations, or even just little jokes all along the network.
The DOD heard about these Tickles and asked for a briefing to determine their military potential. At a high-level meeting of generals and admirals, the lead developer presented the Tickle concept.
The ranking General asked for a demonstration and the lead scientist said "Sure, I'll send you a test Tickle."
And that's how E-mail was born.
He keeps talking about coding...
Moose code.
I told him "its simple, they used Norse Code"
Through remorse-code
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
...until I learned Morse code.
One of the funniest school puns; science puns
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.
Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your “style.”
I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?”
“Ye
... keep reading on reddit ➡I bet it's code for something dirty
Through re-morse code
...and my girlfriend was listening in on the call. When I was done on the phone my girlfriend turns to me and says I didn't understand any of that. I look at her and say, "It's okay, we were speaking in code."
So, today was my CNC class. For those that don't know what CNC is, it's basically the computer programming, and execution of automated machining and manufacturing. To program it, there is a very long script you have to write to tell the machine what to do.
He was reviewing his own code in front of the whole class, when he realized something, he's missing an R-plane. He says "Where is my R-plane?" I respond, "Probably at the R-port"
Apparently, it's a series of bark codes.
Microsoft confirms that there's an issue with their most recent patch: it can corrupt Windows installations. A Microsoft developer by the name of Benedict [Last name withheld due to reddit rules] admitted that the code he wrote was faulty and could lead to corruption of some system files. However, Microsoft still recommends downloading the patch, since these cases are rare, and a tool that repairs affected installations will be available by tomorrow, and can easily be downloaded, since the faulty patch doesn't break any Internet features. Microsoft estimates that only 0.002% of Windows installations will be affected, and that on all other PCs, the patch does fix the bug it addresses. Although some sources on the net claim otherwise, Microsoft states that...
Benedict's Blunder Patch is low-key.
Any time my son groans or sighs, I consider it a win. When I came home from work today, he asked if I had an email from Club Nintendo, as he was waiting for a redemption code. I did and I printed it for him.
I handed it to him and showed him the Wii U code was on one page, and the 3DS code was on the other.
He looked at it and said, "That's odd"
I replied "No, it's even. There are two pages."
-pause-
Son sighs. Loudly.
Dad: "What's the pass-code for your iPhone?"
Mum: "The year I was born"
Dad: "I don't see B.C anywhere..."
(laughs to himself while he unlocks the iPhone to play Candy Crush)
I got hose, in different area codes.
Wife and I were driving down the street and saw the male and female peacocks together, which was rare. The male was spreading its feathers trying to impress the female.
Wife said, "Oh. We have to stop and take a picture!" I said, "No. Bro code. Can't interrupt him when he's macking." Wife was confused and asked what the hell I was talking about.
"Bros don't peacock block bros."
We have a general idea of what we want to make. An action/adventure game for console. We decided to call the main character Drake.
But none of us have any coding experience, so we're moving into Uncharted territory.
One of my first jobs was at our local grocery store, where I was a cashier. Our store had those misting hoses that periodically would shower the produce items with water, so sometimes things were still wet when customers were checking out. My parents were shopping and of course came to my line to check out. I picked up a bag of vegetables, which happened to be leeks. One of the leeks must have been laying in the produce section perfectly upright because it had about 6 ounces of water in it and when I layed the bag down to type in the code, it all poured out of the bag all over the register. My dad proceeded to scream "we've got a leek!" loud enough that everyone around could hear. Other employees thought we had an actual problem and came rushing to my aid... Not one laugh could be heard..
Went and got some food yesterday and happened to have a coupon for a free extra value meal, but the cashier needed a manager's code. It took like 3 or 4 minutes for her to come up. After she typed in the code she apologized, explaining that she was in the walk-in freezer.
As she walked away I raised my voice loud enough so she could hear me and said, "Thanks for doing that, you seem really cool."
She actually turned around and gave me a little scowly smile like, "that's not funny wait why am I smiling."
We responded code 3 (lights and sirens) to a local McDonalds for a patient who had been burned. We get the patient in to the back of the ambulance for privacy and provide some more care. As I move up to the front so we can transport to the hospital, a vehicle pulls up right next to us. An older gentleman rolls down the window and without even a smirk asks, "So is the food really that bad?"
Me: What're you watching?
Dad: The Code.
Me: What's that?
Dad: I can't tell you.
Me and my friends were talking about religions that don't have "possession" (I don't know if that's the right word for it) of sacred lands.
> Friend: Yeah the Buddhists would really like Tibet back too.
> Me: Wait, I thought it was against their moral code to gamble?
Groans were heard all around.
Really close family friend of ours told us this one that allegedly happened while he was on duty. I'm going to tell it from his perspective, as it reads the 'funniest'.
So I'm on duty and we have to go and put out a simple brush fire off to the side of a busy intersection. Since it's the dry season of Southern California literally the smallest spark can cause a giant fire you know, so we're trying to put it out pretty fast. So we arrive there and we notice that an ambulance is speeding down the road to this one pretty sharp bend, and you know, they're making haste since they're on a code 3. A code 3 is where both the siren and the lights are on at the same time and they obviously have something that they need to do. Anyways, they're speeding around this corner and one of the backdoors gets flung open and a cooler flies out and lands at the curb. By this point we've handled the fire and we're just assessing the damage, like where it's spread, stuff like that, so I go and retrieve the container and I open it and inside there's a human toe in there. I tell most of my crew and we decide that we'll get the toe back to the paramedics and then head back to the station. So we call the emergency services and we let them know that some EMT's have left a human body part and didn't come back to get it. They tell us, "we'll have someone come pick it up soon". We wait about 20 minutes and no one arrives and we're all a bit startled that no one's come back to come pick up a fucking human toe, so we call back and they give us the same thing. Half an hour goes by so I decide to call AAA and see if they can help us. Sure enough, AAA is able to help us and within 10 minutes they dispatch the help we need by sending us a toe truck.
Neil Pert's drum kit like "The DiVinci Code"? Because of all the cymbals!
I asked him if his family uses Norse code when they have to keep it down
So i manage a burrito joint, and we yell codes to the cashiers to indicate what the item is
i yelled out HS 1 which indicate the size, meat, and how many extras there are (guac, queso, etc)
the lady i was helping then goes 'hey those are my sons initials'
to which i immediately reply 'your son's last name starts with 1?' i was too ammused
I was riding my bike home at night after work and I stopped at McD's to grab a burger. I was wearing my headlamp and an old man that was in the lobby asked me "Does that ever make you feel light-headed?" I groaned and congratulated him on being a grand dad.
When we dial in and enter our conference code, it then says, "after the tone, please say your name, followed by the pound sign." I am always tempted to say, obviously, "your name, followed by the pound sign." It being a professional office and all, I can never bring myself to do it. But in this "dad jokes" forum, I think I found my home. Thanks everyone!
Just telling family about Antarctica's area code.
Step-dad: Oh wow, that's so cool... get it?
No one survived.
(Our eggs are color coded)
Me: Hey, I got this case of green eggs I'm gonna put out, but you know what I'm missing?
Boss: What?
Me: Ham. Boss: (Groan)
My sister is on a road trip from Utah to Texas. She has been periodically updating us with her location.
Sister 1: Raton, New Mexico
Dad: That's a big rat.
Sister 1: Dalhart, Texas
Dad: Woohoo... How's it going?
Sister 1: Great. Everything is flat and smells like cows, but I don't see any cows.
Dad: Those are the iBoTs (invisible Bovines of Texas), they wander around making methane and distributing it free of charge. And the landscape is that way because of the flat-ulence.
Sister 2: Oh my gosh dad stop
Me: He can't. There is an honor code among dads. We must joke whenever the opportunity presents itself. It's our respunsibility.
Dad: I'm so proud.
Me: Hi so proud, I'm dad.
A scientist and his assistant are in the lab. In front of them is a tank with two fish swimming around. the scientist says to his assistant, "Go into the specimen room and get two more fish."
So the assistant grabs a cart, goes across the hall to the specimen room, puts in his access code on the number panel, pushes the cart in, picks up two fish bowls, each with a fish swimming around, and places them in the cart.
Then he pushes the cart back across the hall into the lab, checking to make sure the door to the specimen room shuts behind him, brings the cart in.
The scientist says, "Pour each fish into the tank with the other two."
So the assistant pushes the cart right next to the tank, picks up each bowl and pours them into the tank with the other fish "
The scientist says, "Now go get some electrical wire out of the storage room."
So the assistant leaves the lab, walks down the hall to the storage room, puts in his access code, grabs a coil of copper wire, marks how much he took on the inventory sign off sheet, leaves the storage room, and locks the door behind him.
So he walks back into the lab with the wire, and the scientist says, "Cut two pieces, each about four feet and place one end of each in the tank."
So the assistant unwraps about eight feet of the copper wire, cuts it in two pieces, and bends one end of each length so they hang on the edge of the tank with six inches into the water.
Then the scientist says, " Now plug each piece of copper wire into that electrical outlet and electrocute the fish "
And the assistant says, "Four watt porpoise?"
For some reason, Hammurabi's Code came up in discussion at work. We look it up and one of the rules I read out loud is:
"If any one is committing a robbery and is caught, then he shall be put to death."
From another cubicle comes "You mean a hammurobbery?"
Groans were had.
Re-morse code
Norse code.
By using Norse code
Re-morse code
With Norse Code!
Remorse Code.
Re-morse code.
Re-morse code.
Re-Morse code.
Norse code
They used norse code.
By moss code.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.