corvidae red-billed chough
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heuristick
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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This button is OK. πŸ‘
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alrightsoundsgood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked β€œcan you see me ok?”

To which they answered β€œyes” β€œoui” β€œsi” β€œja”.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Yesterday I told my wife its ok to cry and embrace your mistakes.

She hugged me

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2021
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What’s the official bird of 2020?

The Corvid.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWickedFish10
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Why did the policeman think it was ok to enter a residence when he thought he heard bird calls inside?

Probable caws.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/douchbagger
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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I asked my dad if it was ok if I tried to box myself.

He said "Knock yourself out!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuriouslySentient
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2021
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Wood you say my dog is ok?
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THMFL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Ok, another one from the "Just being a Dad" series.

Early days with the kids. five, six? I don't really remember, but it was about the time they were afraid of "Monsters" in the closet, under the bed, always at night. Frustrating!

Anyway, I used to put water in a spray bottle, add just a little of my aftershave (so it smelled like me), and I created a label for "Monster Spray". The label looked damn good, it looked "real" at least to a six year old.

Spray under the bed, around the room, in the closet, wherever. It worked so well that every kid in the neighborhood was borrowing it!

Years later, a young niece was afraid of "Bee's" in her dreams, I guess she had been stung, so I turned my brother on to the secret. We made "Monster and Bee Spray" for her.

To this day, I think the secret was the little bit of aftershave, and that we took it seriously.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phredex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
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Buck buck buck.... Ok?
πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nis_sama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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You might think my portable beverage holder is just ok, but I think it’s
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason_Boyd
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Some people think it's ok to knock over people's trash cans...

That's such a trash opinion. (Sorry the joke sucks)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bangtan_Pikachu
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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What do you call a factory that makes OK products?

Satisfactory

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Over heard a customer at my store say β€œOK we’re done let’s hit the road”

I butted in and said don’t do that it’ll hurt.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanotard
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...

I know where to draw the line...

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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Ok, I admit it. I’m an unemployed leather worker.

I’ve got nothing to hide

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/testing35
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Remember, it is ok to hug a tree...

They are all bark and no bite.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bingomzan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Why is it ok to eat McDonald's during Ramadan?

Because it's fast food.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UtkG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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Ok this needs a bit of context: 猫 is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EthanoicAcid2203
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Curry OK?
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickiedaydream
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Oklahoma isn’t OK anymore
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ph3n0lphthalein
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, β€œok sir, and which side?”

I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: β€œsir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”

πŸ‘︎ 330
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Not really a Joke, but just being a Dad.

OK, when my first kid became cognizant, about two years old, I would wait until I could see the street light was going to turn green, just blow at it, and it would turn green. I never said a word. I would just do it.

After doing this for about a year or so, my daughter caught on and could not figure out how I was doing this.

She finally asked me, "Daddy Magic", of course.

She is now 31, and she still blows at street lights.

That is the real Daddy Magic.

πŸ‘︎ 455
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phredex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
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ok..
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sadqwer123
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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What's something a drug dealer would never ask?

"Is Pepsi okay?"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baronradd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Its ok to kiss a nun....

....but don't get into the habit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My Son just told me this one:

Son: I can spell Yacht!

Dad: Ok, spell Yacht

Son: Y-A-H-T

Dad: You forgot the C

Son: No, it’s under the Yacht

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/echosixwhiskey
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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I am ok'nt
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plasma--kun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...

He's a got a faux pas now

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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A few days too late, but OK.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anathex_Adv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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From my 6 year old nephew

My sister was scratching her son's back at bedtime while they talked. She told him it was time for bed.

Him: "Please don't go yet."

Her: "OK, but you have to lie quietly."

Him: (Whispering) "I'm 21 years old."

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phantom-scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
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*Steak puns 100*
πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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A Jelly Bean, Skittle and an M&M go to a party

But at the door there was a sign saying no chocolate allowed. M&M hesitates.

"Hey guys, I might skip this one. I'm a chocolate. I'll catch you guys later" Skittle and Jelly Bean protest. "Nah man, you'll be fine, you're candy on the outside. Come in with us, it'll be fun!" Says his cousin Skittle. "Yeah, if anyone has a problem with you, we'll look after you" says Jelly Bean.

M&M decides he will go in, encouraged by his friends. They all have a good time, and no one mentions anything about M&M being chocolate on the inside.

The night is going well then suddenly the front door bangs open and in walks Vick and his gang of vapour drops. The party goes quiet as Vick surveys the room. His eyes stop on M&M.

"What the fuck are you doing M&M? Can't fucking read the sign? No chocolate allowed."

"But I'm candy on the outside, it's OK, right guys?" Protests M&M weakly. Jelly Bean and Skittle back off into the shadows, leaving M&M by himself.

" I think we need to teach this smart ass chocolate a fucking lesson, let's take this outside." Says Vick.

The vapor drops grab M&M and drag him outside and start beating him up, cracking his shell through to his chocolate. The gang walk away leaving M&M barely conscious on the lawn.

The next day in hospital, Jelly Bean and Skittle come to visit their friend, feeling bad for him. "Why didn't you guys stick up for me?" Asks M&M. "Man, you know Vick, there was nothing we could do, he's fucking menthol."

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellywin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
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NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."

"a watched pot never boils"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Nickname Puns

Ok so, I've been looking high and low for a list of punny- wordplay like nicknames. All I can find are

Jakey-Snakey

Andrew-my-mandrew

or names that just have '-enator' added to them?

If anyone has some fun nicknames please share!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bibbleisthebest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but it’s ok now.

I turned myself around

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BessiesBigTitts
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Two successful zingers during my colonoscopy

Gastroenterologists have heard every colon/rectum/bile/poop-related joke ad naseum, but I managed to sling a couple of original zingers while being prepped for my colonoscopy.

#1

Me to anesthesiologist: How long have you worked at this clinic?

Anest: About a year. Been with field medical teams my entire career. This is the first time settled down in a clinic...and first time in gastro.

Me: I see. After years in the field, how do like working in an orifice?

Anest.: LOL, no idea how I haven't heard that one yet.

#2

Doctor: We're administering the sedative now. You'll wake up in the recovery bay where I'll brief you.

Me: OK, I'll see you on the outside...[getting groggy]...after you see me on the inside...

Doctor: OK, I'm stealing that one....

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/writenroll
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
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He's going to be OK
πŸ‘︎ 204
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpivLife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Ok, this is a mom joke...

My stay-at-home wife came in earlier and asked what I wanted for dinner. "I don't know... You pick, you're cooking it after all."

A few minutes later she comes in with a frying pan. "Here ya go!"

It was a piece of paper. With the words "I don't know" written on both sides.

proof

... Smartass, lol.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Unpealievable..
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiz93
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Why won't swords go obsolete?

They are cutting edge technology.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/U-r-a-bus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Ok m sorry to let everyone at r/dadjokes down.

I haven’t been able to tell a single dad joke all year

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jangooni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Ok then
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousef100987
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"

The teacher said it had to be specific

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Bor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Multi culti

An American, a Frenchman, a Mexican, and a German were all attending a Zoom meeting. The supervisor asked, β€œCan you all see me OK?” To which they answered, β€œYes” β€œOui” β€œSi” β€œJa.”

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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