I see a lot of posts about insults my fellow CF folks seem to take regularly, and I understand that this is a safe space to vent and find community. But as someone who has been openly CF since I was a teen, I've honestly gotten a surprising amount of support from family, friends, teachers, and even acquaintances in my life (besides comments on how I'd outgrow it/change my mind when I was younger; I'm 28 now and still going strong so that's stopped a while ago). Even the parents in my life are secure enough to agree with my reasoning behind not wanting kids and acknowledge they're not for everyone.
So... Is anyone else out there supported? Or do you have any stories of nice interactions, rather than just negative ones? I'm curious.
My sister wants to take me out of the group community setting and place me back with my extremely neglectful hoarder parents. She says I'm free to live at her house, but she is also a hoarder when it comes to clothes/plants, she doesn't really take great care of the house pets aside from feeding them, and her house reeks of ammonia as soon as you walk in the back door.
I told the people at therapy that I was just tired of arguing with staff over the most mundane shit when they clearly let other people carry bags, write in notebooks, and highlight their bibles.
In the complex I'm currently in (as we don't usually talk to the other people who live there), this one person has been up my ass over everything and I can't even open my mouth just to speak to someone else without them getting aggressively defensive in their opinion or constantly correcting me.
I'm scared to come out of my room because this person said they don't want me getting them into trouble, and said they don't want to see me playing my Switch because it's the equivalent of hardcore drugs to them.
I had to tell somebody but now my sister's making me feel that if I don't shut up and just forget about it, I'll be sent back to living under the feet of my hoarder family. spend (supposedly) the rest of my days cooped up in a room the size of a solitary confinement cell.
They need to get enough people to fill in the shifts, but it's becoming more impossible for them due to religious pressure and lack of proper pay/time off.
Some people who aren't materialistic can make do with it, but of course growing up surrounded to death by 3 generations of hoarders, I can't. I try and try to limit my stuffed animal collection but it's never enough. There's something special about each one and it's a past time I love too much to just throw away entirely.
It's not really even an issue with my stuffed animals. There's no room for really any other kind of furniture other than a bed, a dresser, and a TV. I have no idea what to do with the 3-4 foot Christmas tree I was given. If I don't do anything about it soon (I have no means of giving it away), I probably won't have room for my new lava lamp.
There's not enough satellite boxes for me to watch TV in my room, and any other form of animation is prohibited on the big TV by staff opinion unless it's playing on Freeform (and even then it's the same shit over and over). I'm lucky enough just have 15G a month when in all honestly they don't really want
... keep reading on reddit ➡
I saw my dad yesterday, he knows that I plan on not having children. Yesterday we talked about the fact that I will be getting my tubes tied and he was giving me tips on how to help convince the doctor to do the procedure and even offered to do up a family tree of mental health issues to help me convince my doctor to tie my tubes. Mental health issues seem to run deep in both sides of my family; he has bipolar a few other family members have bipolar, there is schizophrenia in my family, my cousin has a personality disorder and I was diagnosed with OCD as a kid.
My dad told me he was proud of me and that I have always been great at making tough choices in life. I am 33f so my window is closing to breed but I am making sure that cannot happen.
hi internet parents,
I'm having a difficult time coming into financial stability and adulthood after recently graduating college. My parents are unsupportive of basically every job I've shown interest in, they don't know what I studied in college because they refuse to accept it was fine arts and not something "practical". They want me to work for a corporation to make $100k+ a year but I passionately want to work in a trade/ artistic career (I'm gay and trans, choosing workplaces is already difficult, they don't get or support that but thats another story).
Is a $30-60k / year salary good? I currently live off of a minimum wage job. I want to become a carpenter, welder, leatherworker, or electrician which all pay in that range. Ive been told I'm a talented artist and craftsperson by people around me, I find creating/fixing/doing things with my hands so enjoyable and effortless it doesn't feel like I'm working. My parents constantly tell me to work in a high paying field instead and that I'm naive, that I'll struggle later on and am being difficult. I've ended up exactly where I saw myself 4~ years ago but I feel like a purposeless failure because I'm always being told what I'm doing is bad. Every time I call them, about once a month, I get the same rant about how I need to choose something else. I think about cutting contact sometimes, it doesn't seem normal to feel so hopeless about myself and my life every time I talk to family?
Meron ba ditong same scenario as mine or nakakarelate. Like you are confident of your actions and plans. Then yung parents mo instead of supporting you, ididiscourage ka pa nila. Sabi nila as a parent they know better. So naguguluhan ako ngayon kung susundin ko ba gusto nila or yung nararamdaman ko. Though somehow nafifeel ko naman na mas alam ko yung gusto ko and yun dapat sundin ko.
If there is someone na gusto magshare ng mga success stories after disobeying your parents. Would like to know your experiences and the result?
I (23F) have been with my bf (28M) for 3 years now. He has had a lot of trouble finding a career that he enjoys. Over our relationship he has had 3 jobs and spent a good chunk of time unemployed. I have a very strong work ethic and am very self motived when it comes to my career (I am a civil engineer). He has always had a hard time making good choices when it comes to his finances. I try to help him and be supportive as much as I can, but sometimes my advice feels very unwanted and unappreciated. I need to find a balance between being supportive to him when he is down on his luck but also pushing him to make the right choices. For example, he recently got his car repossessed. He has been spending a lot of money in alcohol instead of trying to get his car back. When I try to talk to him about it he gets very defensive and it creates a huge argument. I am thinking about breaking up with him until he is able to get his personal finances in order. We have lived together for a year and he owes me over $3000 in back rent. I want to be there for him in tough times but I also think that a lot of it falls on him and his maturity and decision making. He is the love of my life and I don’t want to loose him… but I can’t go into debt because of him either. I need advice!!!
So my (35F) bf (37M) of almost a year starting getting into day trading specifically cryptocurrenies and has been contemplating quiting is 9-5 job and doing this full time. He's staring to get recognized and is helping people through it as well. I understand his reasons for this change and want him to be happy doing what he loves. I try to be there for him and let him engage in his new interest as a hobby/side gig and he's seems to be really good at it and I'm proud of him for gaining this new skills set and helping people.
The only issue I have with this newly found venture is that he seems more preoccupied with trading around the clock and it's always on his mind. when we're spending time together, I know he's there with me physically but mentally is somewhere else or too absorbed into his trading, checking his charts, his social media platforms regarding his trading, etc.
We've had conversations about setting boundaries and having better time management around it but he gets upset and depressed saying that I'm not being understanding of what trading requires of him. He thinks I'm keeping him from his dreams and the ability to help people through this. But I'm not, I honestly just want him to be present and make the time and space for other things including our relationship while he does what makes him happy . He keeps saying he hates his current job and wants to retire early, pay off his debts through this new venture and help people that's why he's giving so much attention to his trading. I totally understand this reasoning but it's like he can't give me the reassurance to provide the time and space for us if he were pursue trading full time.
So how can this be worked out between us when I want him to be happy and support him doing what he wants to do for his potential career change and at the same time not feel resentment or guilty for wanting him to keep a balance and avoid jeopardizing our potential future together? Am I being unreasonable for asking for his time and attention versus what he needs to do for his trading?
Edit: that's a lot more replies than I expected, it's gonna take a while to read them all lol
I have a tendency to gravitate towards leaders, main vocalists, or both. Maybe I gravitate towards the leaders because I wanna be more decisive. But I definitely gravitate towards main vocalists because I love singing.
I'll give some examples of my number 1 and 2 biases because it's fun.
GGs
Blackpink: Rose and Lisa
(G)I-DLE: Soyeon and Minnie
Itzy: Lia and Chaeyreong
Mamamoo: Solar and Moonbyul
Red Velvet: Wendy and Seulgi
Twice: Jihyo and... Nayeon/Dahyun/Sana/Mina/Jeongyeon/Chaeyoung (Cycles)
BGs
A.C.E: Donghun and Chan
BTS: Suga and V (Not a great example, when I think about it)
Day6: YoungK and Jae (They're all pretty much main vocalists though)
EXO: D.O. and Baekhyun
Got7: Youngjae and JB
SHINee: Onew and Key/Jonghyun
I had a thing for NASCAR but thought that i couldn't reach it since im in Europe, but over a few days i've fallen in love with the sport and kept it a secret as only my girlfriend knows about it and encouraged me to pursue it when we move in together and i start Racing school. I told my dad about the whole NASCAR thing and he said he was supportive of me and today i told my mom aswell and shes supportive aswell!! I'm so happyy!!
It could be a partner, boyfriend, one night stand, friend, even family member.
I've supported 3 friends through abortions, on all 3 occasions the boyfriends disassociated some way. Two did not want the abortion at all. The third agreed it was up to the woman in question, but refused to support financially or emotionally and disappeared for 2 weeks.
There must be supportive men out there, can any one confirm. What is the motivation of those supportive men, do they just respect women more or was there something else?
I'm kinda lost as a year 12 student who needs to choose between Melbourne and Monash for my preferences, so I'd love to hear the arguments for and against both.
Cheers!
I'm a junior in Uni and I was majoring in Economics because it made my parents happy. It was extremely difficult for me so now I'm changing my major. My school is super strict with switching and the only major I can do is Sociology and at this point I just wanna graduate with a degree and get a job.
After graduating (no matter the major) I was planning on either teaching english abroad, working with my dad, or getting a marketing job (by doing internships and networking as much as I can cause I like marketing). My parents say that I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I just want to have flexibility in my choices because I know it's gonna be super hard to get a job once I graduate.
When I talk to several of my other friends, I really envy them because their parents are so supportive of them. One of my friends has changed her major several times, another friend is planning on teaching abroad, and another is going to pursue music after graduating. When I talk to my friends, they simply can't relate to the fact that my parents are not supportive.
My parent's doubt and disappointment in me is starting to make me doubt myself and my ability to succeed in anything I do. I'm unmotivated and I feel worthless and stupid. I don't know if I should even bother sharing my career plans with my parents anymore and just do whatever I want. Any thoughts?
In brief: While I understand why the trip is important and do want her to be able to visit her family, I do not support her decision considering the risks in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. I am feeling hurt, disrespected, confused, and a lot of anxiety about the situation. We’ve been on the same page regarding following best practices and guidance from authoritative bodies until now. I decided to cancel my itinerary in October while she wanted wait and see what it would be like in December. Unfortunately, travel out of state or internationally is still not safe or advisable and she is aware the risks. There is no talking sense to her because her determination is stronger than logic and facts. She is angry with me and is placing blame on me instead of acknowledging CDC, Department of State, State Governor advisory, etc., as if it’s MY opinion and MY issue with nonessential travel. She is angry, I am angry and I don’t know how to navigate the issue gracefully.
TL;DR I consider this disagreement to be a big problem fundamentally, she doesn’t and I welcome any advice or perspective that could help us through it. Tia
My best friend (who also happens to be my cousin) was recently divorced. Totally the right decision and probably should have happened long ago. Completely supportive there.
She has 2 kids who live with her most of the time. Ex has them every other weekend and doesn't want a minute more. She had to push for him to even agree to that, which is sad. This is important because I think the kids pick up on the fact that he doesn't really want to be involved. Her oldest is doing OK with the whole situation, but her youngest has really struggled. He has been in therapy but is kind of refusing to participate, which makes it hard. Oldest is 13, youngest is 11.
She has started seeing someone, who is great. He lives across the country in our home state. She has family there and travels there for work a lot, so she sees him a fair amount. And they've actually known each other for years. He has come here a few times and met her kids.
Her youngest son wants nothing to do with him. New BF is completely understanding and very good with both kids. Again, he's a great guy. But youngest kid is just very angry about the whole situation - the divorce, dad not really involved, moving to a much smaller house (same school), mom seeing someone new - it's a lot for a kid to deal with. I know, because I was that kid when I was his age in a very similar situation. He will act out and go into rages even. She thinks (and I agree) that he has more going on. He has always had issues like this, but now they are just magnified. But it's impossible to get a diagnosis because he just refuses to open up and play along with a therapist. He has been to about 3 therapists over a period of about 2.5 years (they've been divorced for 1.5 years).
I think it is probably best if she keeps new BF out of the picture for a while to give her son more time to process everything. Not saying stop seeing him - just only see him when the kids are with their dad. I don't think it's a good idea to have BF at their house (which is always for a few days at a time because he lives out of state) when the kids are there. I also don't think it's a good idea for her to go see her BF on weekends the kids are not with their dad (again, a few days at a time because it's far). Their nanny stays with them at those times. I think it makes the kids feel like neither parent really wants to be with them, and that makes me sad.
Her belief is that she can't just put her life on hold. That she deserves to be happy. And that she
... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm a lost year 12 students who needs to put their preferences down so I'd love to hear the arguments for and against both.
Cheers!
