How did the red cherries know who Jesusโ€™s father was?

Ask Mary, she knows.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/djeem
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.

How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.

How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kriskidd21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

One clown asked another clown, โ€œWhy do elephants paint their toenails red?โ€

The second clown thought and replied that he didnโ€™t know.

The first clown said, โ€œSo they can hide in cherry trees! Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ replied the second clown.

โ€œSee how well it works!โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Just yellow please

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,

"Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."

The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?"

The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny."

To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?"

"No son, I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.

By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CrotalusHorridus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why elephants have red eyes

Do you know why elephants have red eyes?

> um, no man, why?

So they can hide in cherry trees

> rolls eyes, yeah sure

Did you ever see an elephant hide in a cherry tree?

> um, no

See, thats how well it works

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iwillbecomehokage
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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The adventures of Max Dad, P.I.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didnโ€™t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxerโ€™s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasnโ€™t hiring me for my looks and I wasnโ€™t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - thatโ€™s me. Private Investigatorโ€™s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and thatโ€™ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

โ€œSo as I was saying, Mr Dad,โ€ she began.

โ€œPlease, call me Maxโ€

โ€œAlright, Maxโ€ฆ well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?โ€

โ€œNo thatโ€™s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,โ€ I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, โ€œIโ€™m sure itโ€™ll be a brief case.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/johnnyohnny
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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Dad's old one-two combo.

Dad: Hey, why did the elephant paint his balls red?

Me: Umm.. I don't know, why?

Dad: To hide in a cherry tree!

Me: ...

Dad: Okay.. how did Tarzan get killed?

Me: sigh I don't know Dad, how?

Dad: Picking cherries!

Facepalms all around by everyone in earshot, and Dad would know that he had done well.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/danmayzing
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30 2013
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How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?

You paint its toenails red.

...

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

...

See how good it worksโ€ฝ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Detsella-Morningdew
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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