Chelidon Puns

https://chelidonframe.bandcamp.com/album/like-waves-on-a-pensive-evening

Guitars, synthesizers and radio waves by Chelidon Frame
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Chelidon Frame during February, 2020 in his home studio.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

Hey guys. It’s been a hot minute since the last post I made on here like this (dang, 2 years ago?! at least it still holds up imo). But I’m back again to make a similar post on Triggers this time. Specifically, what Triggers I think Border can and should implement because they totally can and I think they’re super useful (and not too OP)!

While the first several of these ideas are mine, I actually went ahead and looked through some old posts on the subject to see if I missed any really good ideas. That said, I may have modified them here and there to either balance them, add onto them, or changed them a bit to put them more in line with Border’s Triggers (credit has been given to the person who came up with the new trigger / customization when they’re not me lol).

My criteria for all these Triggers is more vague this time around than when I examined possible Side Effects. That said, essentially I considered real world weapons not yet represented by Border’s triggers, modeled a trigger based off of a Neighbor’s Trigger that Border would have seen and provided them with inspiration (in a way that’s in line with existing triggers), or defaulted to customizing a trigger based on customizations and option triggers we’ve already seen.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the triggers:

• Comet – An incendiary bullet trigger. It has less power than Asteroid (similar Hound and Viper) but makes up for it by creating a small fire on what it hits. If the object is highly flammable, like wood, the flame will spread from a single bullet. If the object is not so flammable, like a Trion body, it is possible for the object to catch on fire if multiple bullets hit it (when a Trion body catches fire from this trigger, it will slowly eat away at the Trion body until it goes out or hits wears through a critical point of the Trion body). If the object is not really flammable, it won’t really do much more damage other than maybe create some scorch marks on it. The naming convention is to keep in line with the main gunner triggers, Asteroid and Meteor (since Asteroids are rocks that stay in space and are bullet like I guess and Meteors have an exploding impact, Comet makes sense to me here since it has the appearance of / are often depicted as a blazing ball of fire flying across the sky... even tho that’s not actually the case lol).

• Stinger – An electric-shocking bull

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)