I managed to catch all the Pokemon listed under M in the PokΓ©dex

Guess I caught M-all

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vote4Hitler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the polar bear catch a penguin?

Because it was bipolar...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Daughter: "Can Santa catch the coronavirus?"

Me: "Probably not, he's really good at elf-isolation"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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A man who loved to catch butterflies married the woman of his dreams:

Annette.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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At the hospital they’re taking virus cases on a β€˜first catch’ basis...

It’s in a corona-logical order.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it to you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas

Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JosephsMythJr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you catch from a vampire in the winter time?

Frost-bite.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to catch the fog

I mist

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.

When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle is really good at fishing. He always knows exactly what kind of worm to put on his fishing hook, in order to catch the desired kind of fish.

One might say he is a master baiter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the time the lead singer of the band β€œThe Police” went undercover to catch a criminal?

It was a Sting operation

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dig-ol-bick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a radio on sale for only a dollar. Only catch was the volume was stuck on high.

I realized, I can’t turn this down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/binaryPilot84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Although at times the cops were able to catch up to that orange car on the Dukes of Hazard tv show...

...GeneralLee they weren’t fast enough

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagle4523
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't the police catch Pablo Escobar?

He has the escape key in him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/L-Sollies
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Catch up with the times.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman catch more on his second trip?

Because of his mussel memory

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Almazan__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't the police catch the wool

It's on the lamb

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Golden Retrievers catch the balls you throw for them?

They’re only retrievers.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the hunter catch the bear?

With his "bear" hands!

Aye oh! I'll see myself out!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrolite999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the beef brisket catch lung cancer?

It smoked for 6 hours.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw my bike get stolen, but by the time I tried to catch the thief...

they were Gone with the Schwinn.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Bathroom fixtures can't catch the virus.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rosenking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl catch feelings for the mushroom?

Because he was a pretty fungi

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grizz117
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Hear about the kid who tryed to catch some fog?

He Mist.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lamshane
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me to play catch with him outside in the fog.

He threw the first one and I mist.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArshmanR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
How to catch an elephant. A story by my dad which got me a walk to the Principal's office in 2nd grade

Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.

To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.

And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!

Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGoodLordsTaint
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the computer catch a cold?

Because somebody left the windows open all night

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSlayerz2559
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer catch his cheating wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unicornsatemyfeet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to get up at 4 am the other day to catch the bus. I texted my dad this:

Me: I keep making mistakes at work, but that’s what I get for waking up before the asscrack of dawn.

Dad: I’m sure you’re going to be fine. Take it in stride and improve as you go. And stop talking about dawn’s asscrack. She may find that offensive.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinetree218
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You can't let the police catch you wearing it, it's Contraband. imgur.com/PZUpuiV
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeegorilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said β€œAirport Left” so I turned around and went home.
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.

But unfortunately Sierra Mist

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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You've seen American History X, now catch the much awaited sequel... American History XP!
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Detritus5173
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my son, "What time do we need to leave to catch the movie?" He replied, "I don't know. 5:30, 6?"

I shot back, "5:36? That's an oddly specific time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.

I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clahws
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the best way to catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sahliekid
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you catch things in the Bering Sea?

I don't know, Alaska fisherman.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
🚨︎ report
I tried to catch the fog yesterday.

Mist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObliviousSea
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Tried to catch fog the other day...

Mist

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the guy that tried to catch the fog?

He mist

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICE0124
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to catch fog the other day...I mist.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TMallon15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Tried to catch some fog the other day

Mist

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thrmuffinman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said β€œAirport Left”,

so I turned around and went home.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report

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