I managed to catch all the Pokemon listed under M in the Pokédex
How did the polar bear catch a penguin?
Because it was bipolar...
Daughter: "Can Santa catch the coronavirus?"
Me: "Probably not, he's really good at elf-isolation"
A man who loved to catch butterflies married the woman of his dreams:
At the hospital they’re taking virus cases on a ‘first catch’ basis...
It’s in a corona-logical order.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it to you.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What can you catch from a vampire in the winter time?
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.
When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!
My uncle is really good at fishing. He always knows exactly what kind of worm to put on his fishing hook, in order to catch the desired kind of fish.
One might say he is a master baiter.
Did you hear about the time the lead singer of the band “The Police” went undercover to catch a criminal?
I saw a radio on sale for only a dollar. Only catch was the volume was stuck on high.
I realized, I can’t turn this down.
Although at times the cops were able to catch up to that orange car on the Dukes of Hazard tv show...
...GeneralLee they weren’t fast enough
Why can't the police catch Pablo Escobar?
He has the escape key in him.
Why did the fisherman catch more on his second trip?
Because of his mussel memory
Why can't the police catch the wool
Why doesn’t Golden Retrievers catch the balls you throw for them?
How did the hunter catch the bear?
With his "bear" hands!
Aye oh! I'll see myself out!
Why did the beef brisket catch lung cancer?
I saw my bike get stolen, but by the time I tried to catch the thief...
they were Gone with the Schwinn.
Bathroom fixtures can't catch the virus.
Why did the girl catch feelings for the mushroom?
Because he was a pretty fungi
Hear about the kid who tryed to catch some fog?
My son asked me to play catch with him outside in the fog.
He threw the first one and I mist.
An evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:
Not all heroes snare crepes.
How to catch an elephant. A story by my dad which got me a walk to the Principal's office in 2nd grade
Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.
To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.
And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!
Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.
Why did the computer catch a cold?
Because somebody left the windows open all night
How did the farmer catch his cheating wife?
I had to get up at 4 am the other day to catch the bus. I texted my dad this:
Me: I keep making mistakes at work, but that’s what I get for waking up before the asscrack of dawn.
Dad: I’m sure you’re going to be fine. Take it in stride and improve as you go.
And stop talking about dawn’s asscrack. She may find that offensive.
I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said “Airport Left” so I turned around and went home.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
You've seen American History X, now catch the much awaited sequel... American History XP!
I asked my son, "What time do we need to leave to catch the movie?" He replied, "I don't know. 5:30, 6?"
I shot back, "5:36? That's an oddly specific time."
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.
I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes
What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
How do you catch things in the Bering Sea?
I don't know, Alaska fisherman.
I tried to catch the fog yesterday.
Tried to catch fog the other day...
What happened to the guy that tried to catch the fog?
I tried to catch fog the other day...I mist.
Tried to catch some fog the other day
I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said “Airport Left”,
so I turned around and went home.
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