Leo di Caprio is neither a Leo, nor is he a Capricorn. He's a Scorpio.
This pisces me off....
The doctor said it was a complete pain in the ass.
It was a disaster...
Dis-assed-her
A man walked into a bar with his dog and ordered a few drinks. At the end of the night, when he got the tab, he was astounded at the $50 check. He calls the bar tender over hoping to strike a deal. “Bartender, I only have 20 bucks I can’t pay for this drink. Let’s make a deal, if my dog can talk then you’ll let me have my drinks for free.” The bartender states, “there is no way that damn dog can talk! Pay me the money!” The man in response states, “No no sir, watch. Spots, what kind of situation are you in when you didn’t study for a test?” The dog, “Ruff!” The man carries on the bit, “See bar tender my dog can talk! You’re in a rough situation when you don’t study!” The bartender, “Now boy don’t play with me now, just pay your tab, that dog can’t talk!” “Well here, I’ll prove it to you. Spots, what texture is sandpaper?” “Ruff!” The bartender reaches hand over the counter, almost touching the man, “I won’t ask again sir.” “I have one more, just watch. Spots, who is the best baseball player?” “Ruff!” The bartender, done being fooled with, throws the man in his dog out of the bar, taking all his money. He looks at his dog sadly, “sorry spots, I guess he doesn’t believe you can talk...” The dog looks up, confused, “maybe I should’ve said DiMaggio.”
Jennifer Lawrence: Why don't you Oscar out?
The Grill Master Sergeant.
It’s because they di-late
Disaster.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I lactose
They call it the vacuum cleaner.
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
How do you feel when your appointment is cancelled?
You are disappointed
Turned out to be my dental dis-appointment
Nolan says he will direct.
DiCaprio says he will act.
And McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"
So that when they come back to the port they can "scan-di-navian"
99.9999999% Of All Humans Are Dying On The Earth
He was really dis-organ-ized.
They followed the guidance religiously.
Dis-cuss
It took this kidney but left the kid.
